Game Thread: Red Sox @ Twins, 11:10AM PT (1:10PM CT)

[Squirrel]

Nice to see Buxton back in the lineup.

Yeah, but now I want to see Dozier back soon.

[USAFChief]

FART JOKES!!1!

 

Awesome! I'll see if I can squeeze out a few.

[Squirrel]

FART JOKES!!1!

Awesome! I'll see if I can squeeze out a few.

Spinowner: pull my finger

[USAFChief]

I remember the time I was so proud of USAFChiefjr...he came home from school and told Mrs Chief and I that he was the only kid in his class that could answer his math teacher's question.

 

Fearing I might be embarrassed, given my, uh, limited math skills, I asked "and what was that question, Jr?"

 

Beaming so brightly it hurt my eyes, he responded "Allright class...who farted?"

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Sounds painful.

I am sure it was, but it was his inspiration in painting "The Persistence of Mustaches."

[crapforks]

 

Yeah, but now I want to see Dozier back soon.

Im with you on that, but a sprained ankle pretty much always heals, even if it requires a DL stint. Whenever you see the word concussion thrown in, images of Koskie, Morneau, Mauer and the like pop into my head.

[Squirrel]

 

Im with you on that, but a sprained ankle pretty much always heals, even if it requires a DL stint. Whenever you see the word concussion thrown in, images of Koskie, Morneau, Mauer and the like pop into my head.

Yeah ... for sure a worse worry.

[Squirrel]

 

Spinowner: pull my finger

One always learns such valuable things from an older brother.

[Guest]

FART JOKES!!1!

Awesome! I'll see if I can squeeze out a few.

Expanding your genre beyond old fart jokes?

[Jerr]

 

All the dang math in this thread so far.   $@*%!

 

I just wanna see the boys jump all over Sale's a$$.  Show him it doesn't matter what color Sox he has on, we're gonna eat him alive just the same.  I wanna see him cry Gibson-esque tears out on that mound today.  

 

Get 'im, boys.

I tried to stop it in my first post, but I was a bit late, so  those "dogs of math" have been loosed/slipped/freed take your pick.

Edited May 7, 2017 by Jerr

[Jerr]

 

FART JOKES!!1!

Awesome! I'll see if I can squeeze out a few.

Beats the math here.....maybe    

[Jerr]

This game has the makings of a great pitching match up. Which excites me, but makes me nervous.

 

Twins seem to choke for those games, but they own Sales...hopefully we hit 30 pages, even on this beautiful day and we all have chicken dinnah!!!!!!!

[ashbury]

This game has the makings of a great pitching match up. Which excites me, but makes me nervous.

[Jerr]

 

Yeppers!!!!!

[ashbury]

FART JOKES!!1!

 

Awesome! I'll see if I can squeeze out a few.

Back when he lived in the Cities, Chief used to fart in the elevators at the IDS Building. That was disgusting on so many levels.

[Squirrel]

 

Back when he lived in the Cities, Chief used to fart in the elevators at the IDS Building. That was disgusting on so many levels.

I really can't wait for the game to start.

[Jerr]

 

I really can't wait for the game to start.

Yes, I almost said "or bring back the math" discussions, at least those were above the belt.

[Blake]

 

I tried to stop it in my first post, but I was a bit late, so  those "dogs of math" have been loosed/slipped/freed take your pick.

Just don't ask what the average speed of a swallow is.

 

[DaveW]

Dave, at Cornel University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope (TEM). Now this Microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infitesimally small building block of all life. Dave, if I were using this Microscope right now, I still couldn't locate my interest in Aaron Hicks' stats.

Word to the wise, if you are going to try to do a bit involving an Ivy League school, at least spell it right

[Bark's Lounge]

 

I really can't wait for the game to fart.

FTFY

[USAFChief]

Back when he lived in the Cities, Chief used to fart in the elevators at the IDS Building. That was disgusting on so many levels.

Woulda worked better with "the brand spanking new Foshay Tower."

[USAFChief]

Word to the wise, if you are going to try to do a bit involving an Ivy League school, at least spell it right

Cornell's in the Midwest League, I believe. Go Rams.

[Blake]

 

The only reason Rollie Fingers is in the HOF is because he ripped off Dali's facial hair stylings.

That and a cool baseball name.

[akmanak]

This usually dooms the Twins when I make a feeble prediction, but oh well.

 

Twins 7 Sox 0. Santana goes the distance and we see homeruns from Vargas, 2 from Sano, and the Sox commit 3 errors.

[Rhino and Compass]

I'm really excited for Buxton, as he is obviously improved enough not to bat 9th anymore.

 

 

[Bark's Lounge]

 

That and a cool baseball name.

That too. Coincidentally, I always thought it would be cool name for an alt rock band. The opportunity never arised.

[Jerr]

 

This usually dooms the Twins when I make a feeble prediction, but oh well.

Twins 7 Sox 0. Santana goes the distance and we see homeruns from Vargas, 2 from Sano, and the Sox commit 3 errors.

No, as I would find that too boring, but we all will see.

[spinowner]

 

Spinowner: pull my finger

I can pull my own finger just fine, thanks.

[Blake]

I use the word "frippery" in a baseball thread and everyone is all over the math? And from there goes to fart jokes?

 

It's almost Daliesk.

[Bark's Lounge]

 

That and a cool baseball name.

Honestly, Rollie Fingers is probably the coolest baseball player of all time.