Game Thread: Twins vs Royals, 7:10pm CDT 9/7/2016 AD

[sampleSizeOfOne]

How not to take things too seriously. Never go there. If i you never go to the town Seriously, it stands too reason you wont take anything from or too there. I am ahead of the game. I don't even know where Seriously is.

 

In view of that...

 

Happy mathematical elimination day!

 

I looked at the standings as part of my research for this game thread (dedicated, ain't i?) and Detroit is a half game out of the Wild Card race with 75 wins. We go 88 losses. Season being 162 games, winning out gives us 74 wins. Which doesn't catch the final team not in the play offs. We can get back to playing for the joy of the game and all. Which is really what it is all about.

 

Yeah... we might have already been out of it yesterday. I don't know. The point being, if i can get away with math in a game thread intro, anything is possible. It is even possible i could be wrong about that...

 

Other things i have been wrong about...

 

Polka dots. I always thought they had something to do with the music. I still do, The name.

 

Def Leppard isn't hard of hearing. But i can't spot their spots, so maybe they can change them.

 

Ignominious rock. I never knew what to call it before...

 

What the crocodile has for dinner. Apparently it did not begin with the elephant's child. Thanks to the bi-colored-python-rock-snake.

 

In space, no one can hear you scream...

Properly, it should be no one ELSE...

 

Brussels sprouts. I can't seem to find a new brussels anywhere.

 

And this game thread...

 

But i digress...

 

Initial conditions:

 

Royals:

 

0: Danny Duffy (L)

 

1. Jarrod Dyson (L) C

2. Paulo Orlando ( R) RF

3. Eric Hosmer (L) 1B

4. Kendrys Morales (S) DH

5. Alex Gordon (L) LF

6. Cheslor Cuthbert ( R) 3B

7. Alcides Escobar (R ) SS

8. Whit Merrifield ( R) 2B

9. Drew Butera ( R) C

 

Twins:

 

0. Kyle Gibson ( R)

 

1. Brian Dozier ( R) 2B

2. Jorge Polanco (S) SS

3. Miguel Sano (R ) DH

4. Kennys Vargas (S) 1B

5. Robbie Grossman (S) LF

6. Eduardo Escobar (S) 3B

7. Logan Schafer (L) RF

8. John Ryan Murphy (R ) C

9. Byron Buxton ( R) CF

 

72 degrees Forkeviinbacon,

Mostly Cloudy with 10% chance of participation...

 

And by the way, Jinxes have been deactivated for the remainder of the evening.

 

Don't get too carried away... Be home by midnight and all.

[Platoon]

I was very disappointed that you failed to mention the theft of jewels from the Drake bus. $3M? What in the name of college athletics is an athletic team from Iowa doing with three mil of jewelry on a bus. It would be different if it was Duke, or Stanford. But Drake? This keeps up, the next thing you know wrestlers will be selling prescription drugs out of the locker room!

[Craig Arko]

Looks like a fun outfield.

[Danchat]

 

Looks like a fun outfield.

Yeah, they have one of the fastest outfielders in center and probably the most incompetent in left.

[Craig Arko]

Yeah, they have one of the fastest outfielders in center and probably the most incompetent in left.

Which, given the flying fickle finger of fate, probably means a W.

[HitInAPinch]

Dude,  I don't know whom this Polka Dot person is, but I did get to meet Marsh Mellow.  300lbs in a long white dress.  Worked at a strip club.  Seriously.

 

btw:  YOUR CAPITALIZATION IS A-TROCIOUS !!

 

DRINK MORE

[sampleSizeOfOne]

I was very disappointed that you failed to mention the theft of jewels from the Drake bus. $3M? What in the name of college athletics is an athletic team from Iowa doing with three mil of jewelry on a bus. It would be different if it was Duke, or Stanford. But Drake? This keeps up, the next thing you know wrestlers will be selling prescription drugs out of the locker room!

Sorry i was wrong.

 

I am not familiar with the details. That does sound rather expensive...

 

Do locker rooms give a discount for filling prescriptions?

 

And is there aught i can do to make amends? To reappoint you?

[Vanimal46]

How nice of the weather to be 72 degrees For Kevin Bacon. I'm sure he appreciates it!

[pierre75275]

I might have to watch tonight to see if Dozier can hit a dinger. Or 3. I wonder what he would have to do to get MVP mentions? If he hits 45 is he in the conversation? Yes I know it takes more then HR to be MVP

[Platoon]

He is certainly the Twins MVP! Once Nolasco went to LA, it was a forgone conclusion.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

How nice of the weather to be 72 degrees For Kevin Bacon. I'm sure he appreciates it!

Wow! People read what i write...

 

That could go to one's head.

 

Almost game time...

[jud6312]

Good thing they didn't call up Palka or Walker instead of Weapon X. There's no way the guy even approaches those 7-10 ABs that were mentioned last week.

[Rosterman]

After last night's game, I wonder if Molly or Allen or anyone will notice that this is the third time in recent appearances that Kintzler came in to get outs in the eight...and then died in the 9th. The guy can't sit on the bench between outs.

 

Speaking of the 'pen. We have, what, 10-11-12-13 (yes, 13 when Milone and May return Friday). Can anyone tell me any specific roles for any of these guys?

 

Who is the long man.

 

Who setups the eighth.

 

Who do we go to for a ground ball

 

Who can strike someone out.

 

Who do we call on when we want strikes and not balls.

 

Who is worn out.

 

After the mess last night with six guys needed to get nine outs. Sheesh. Maybe the Twins should've signed Dan Johnson from the Saints who can also pinch hit. Escobar really doesn't look that bad on the mound.

 

Oh, did I mention that Kintzler loses it when he has to sit between outs?

[jud6312]

I'm going to torture myself by going in person on the 23rd. Potentially the night the Hunt for 100 ends.

 

If you see a fat guy in Zubaz get ejected for yelling at Molly for starting Weapon X over Max and Crocodile No Hit over Polanco, that's me.

[jud6312]

 

After last night's game, I wonder if Molly or Allen or anyone will notice that this is the third time in recent appearances that Kintzler came in to get outs in the eight...and then died in the 9th. The guy can't sit on the bench between outs.

 

Speaking of the 'pen. We have, what, 10-11-12-13 (yes, 13 when Milone and May return Friday). Can anyone tell me any specific roles for any of these guys?

 

Who is the long man.

 

Who setups the eighth.

 

Who do we go to for a ground ball

 

Who can strike someone out.

 

Who do we call on when we want strikes and not balls.

 

Who is worn out.

 

After the mess last night with six guys needed to get nine outs. Sheesh. Maybe the Twins should've signed Dan Johnson from the Saints who can also pinch hit. Escobar really doesn't look that bad on the mound.

 

Oh, did I mention that Kintzler loses it when he has to sit between outs?

Zero chance either of them has noticed Kintzler's struggles.

 

And roles? In order for any of those bullpen arms to have roles, Molitor and his gaggle of chuckleheads would have to have a plan. It's been painfully clear over the course of the year they don't have one.

 

That is, unless, anger the fan base, drive down ticket sales and fill the roster with has-beens and never-will-bes is a plan. Then, they're absolutely killing it.

[HitInAPinch]

 

After last night's game, I wonder if Molly or Allen or anyone will notice that this is the third time in recent appearances that Kintzler came in to get outs in the eight...and then died in the 9th. The guy can't sit on the bench between outs.

 

Speaking of the 'pen. We have, what, 10-11-12-13 (yes, 13 when Milone and May return Friday). Can anyone tell me any specific roles for any of these guys?

 

Who is the long man.

 

Who setups the eighth.

 

Who do we go to for a ground ball

 

Who can strike someone out.

 

Who do we call on when we want strikes and not balls.

 

Who is worn out.

 

After the mess last night with six guys needed to get nine outs. Sheesh. Maybe the Twins should've signed Dan Johnson from the Saints who can also pinch hit. Escobar really doesn't look that bad on the mound.

 

Oh, did I mention that Kintzler loses it when he has to sit between outs?

Pig Pen  

[jud6312]

Beresford would've had that. And then he would've given a puppy to a sick child. 

 

I hear he's a fantastic human being, which is the most important thing about baseball.

[HitInAPinch]

1 pitch, 1 hit.  Bad Sign??

[formerly33]

How not to take things too seriously. Never go there. If i you never go to the town Seriously, it stands too reason you wont take anything from or too there. I am ahead of the game. I don't even know where Seriously is.

SRSLY Chocolate, Austin, TX.

 

Van?

[HitInAPinch]

OUT !!

[David HK]

 

Grossmen and Schafer, the journeymen two bagger,  getting more wasted at bats from Molitor. Another reason this team will continue to punt until beyond 2017. 

I'm wondering how soon after the season the press conference will be scheduled.  Topic:  Moving on.  Sorry, loved Molly as a player, since his Gopher days, but managing a young and rebuilding team is not his forte.  Roving minor league instructor, great.  But this job, IMHO, was a bridge too far.  ABW is on the 40 man, no move necessary.  AAA team MVP, and hot finish to the season down there. Schafer is pushing 30, Grossman's had a season-long audition already.  What is the point of giving these guys ABs now?  This season was in the dumpster long ago, and we still get dudes like this trotted out, at the expense of giving young guys a taste of the show, and see how they handle it.  

Pfft.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

How not to take things too seriously. Never go there. If i you never go to the town Seriously, it stands too reason you wont take anything from or too there. I am ahead of the game. I don't even know where Seriously is.

In view of that...

Happy mathematical elimination day!

I looked at the standings as part of my research for this game thread (dedicated, ain't i?) and Detroit is a half game out of the Wild Card race with 75 wins. We go 88 losses. Season being 162 games, winning out gives us 74 wins. Which doesn't catch the final team not in the play offs. We can get back to playing for the joy of the game and all. Which is really what it is all about.

Yeah... we might have already been out of it yesterday. I don't know. The point being, if i can get away with math in a game thread intro, anything is possible. It is even possible i could be wrong about that...

 

 

Wait... you're saying there was a chance? 

 

I didn't realize we were playing meaningful baseball in September.

[jud6312]

I've already muted the TV, but I'm not sure I can even have this on tonight. The ineptitude of this team - the TSF, if you will - might have finally beat me into submission.

[HitInAPinch]

GIBSON PICKS OFF 2  !!!!!

 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

GIBSON PICKS OFF 2 !!!!!

 

I ain't complaining. 3 up, 3 down is good enough for me.

 

And can't knock the buddy christ. Miss Carlin, though.

[LaBombo]

 

Happy mathematical elimination day!

 

Making it to September 1st without being eliminated seemed like scaling Everest without oxygen back in May.

 

Seven days in is just gravy. Not the awesome gravy that my mom used to make with pot roast. Not really even the ok kind that comes in a jar. More like the stuff you make from a packet, set the heat too high, and forget to stir, and that ends up tasting like you melted down a raincoat.

 

But still... gravy.

[LaBombo]

Nice recognition and hustle by Sano to take third on the single without a throw.  Jogs home next AB; well done young man.

[HitInAPinch]

That Grossman:  What a hitter !!!

http://brokeassstuart.com/wp-content/pictsnShit/2014/02/sarcasm_font.jpg

[jud6312]

I can't believe we're wasting one of Beresford's option years to watch Escobar flail weakly.

[jud6312]

Whew!!! And here I was worried that if Plouffe was shut down they'd give Sano regular playing time at 3B. Then our minds are set as ease by Molly's proclamation that it'll be split between Saint James, Eddie the Stick and Miguel.