Game Thread, Twins @ Blue Jays, 8/6 @ 6:07pm CT

[notoriousgod71]

 

 

any chance o'rourke can pitch all the innings?

 

No, he can only manage two batters in a six run game.

 

We must run Boyer out there every ****ing day.

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

The outfield defense is great without Arcia out there.

The Twins were happy to start the season with Arcia in left and zero good outfielders. Let's see if next year they are happy to platoon Arcia in left when they have two actual good outfielders.

[notoriousgod71]

Pour it on.

[JB_Iowa]

https://youtu.be/QoQZ0qmf-mk

[Danchat]

So... after another bad outing, will Boyer finally get DFA'd? There's so many better options in AAA to replace him.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Did we just get us an outfield assist?

 

Yeay us!

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

And a home run by Hicks.

[Winston Smith]

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

 

Henny Youngman

[Bark's Lounge]

 

[Winston Smith]

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

 

Henny Youngman

 

[Winston Smith]

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

 

Rodney Dangerfield

[USAFChief]

When I had kids, I childproofed the house.

 

But the little bastards found a way back in anyway.

 

-Chief

[Winston Smith]

My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

 

Rodney Dangerfield

 

Cheer up everyone!

 

[formerly33]

 

When I had kids, I childproofed the house.

 

But the little bastards found a way back in anyway.

 

-Chief

I'm probably doing this wrong, but ...

 

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

 

~ Douglas Adams

[LaBombo]

Was driving home while Gibson was struggling in the fifth.    Usually listening to the Twins on the radio causes me to visual what's hapenning in the game.    Tonight the image and sound bite that stayed in my mind as the radioheads discussed bullpen options was this, and it pretty much summarizes the 2015 bullpen for me.

 

 

 

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/58382851.jpg

[Winston Smith]

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

 

Rodney Dangerfield

[nicksaviking]

Ha, great time to flip on the TV, Morris calling Suzuki lazy! I vote for full time Morris.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

"You just shook your head! Doesn't that make you happy?"

[USAFChief]

I went to the doctor, he told me I needed heart surgery.  I told him I wanted a second opinion.  He told me, "Ok, you're ugly, too."

 

Dangerfield

[notoriousgod71]

Shut the **** up, Dick, quit talking like this team is in contention.

[ashbury]

Before we had any children, I had 3 theories about raising kids. Now that I have 3 kids, I have 0 theories.

[USAFChief]

Biggest issues for this team going forward:

 

1.  Joe Mauer

 

2.  Everything else

[Winston Smith]

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

 

W. C. Fields

[ashbury]

When we had that third child, my wife and I found out we had to switch from a man-to-man defense to a zone.

[notoriousgod71]

Lip reading is fun:

 

Pitcher: "Wow."

Hunter: "You've got to be ****ing kidding me."

[formerly33]

 

Before we had any children, I had 3 theories about raising kids. Now that I have 3 kids, I have 0 theories.

Let me guess: you probably spent the first year of each child's life teaching it to walk and talk and the next seventeen years to shut up and sit down.

 

Simple solution: don't teach kids to walk or talk.

[Winston Smith]

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

 

Groucho Marx

 

[notoriousgod71]

Ha, Trevor May in a six run game.

 

 

[ashbury]

Children are hereditary; if your grandparents didn't have any, and your parents didn't have any, neither will you.

[USAFChief]

 

Ha, Trevor May in a six run game.

wait...this wasn't a continuation of the one liners, was it?