Sources: Twins Still Playing

[RandBalls Stu]

Image courtesy of Bruce Kluckhohn - Imagn Images

Chris Shaw was confused.

The Golden Valley man was enjoying a hazy IPA at Bricksworth Beer Co. in the North Loop neighborhood of Minneapolis on Wednesday afternoon with some co-workers, when a group of “roughly 8-10 people” in Minnesota Twins gear walked in.

“We didn’t know what to make of it,” said Shaw. “The season’s been over for at least a month now, and they don’t do TwinsFest until January. Figured it was one of those lame themed office parties or something.”

Although common sense would seem to indicate that Shaw is correct, while investigating this incident, Twins Daily was able to exclusively confirm that the Minnesota Twins are still playing baseball—including a home series against the Cleveland Guardians this weekend!

Reporters and analysts who cover the Twins were stunned.

“I was as surprised as anyone,” said Twins Daily founder John Bonnes. “But I used a variety of search engines and they all indicated that the regular season ends on Sunday, September 28. I called the Target Field front desk on my landline telephone and was told the same.”

“My editor told me to go to the stadium on Tuesday,” said the Minnesota Star Tribune’s Phil Miller. “I figured they wanted me to gauge the off-season temperature or see if there was any more downsizing. I get there, and there’s people in the stands. I just assumed it was another country music concert from someone named Kody or Keith or Kody Keith. But it was a Yankees game? Against the Twins? Who are still playing?”

Twins Daily has confirmed that there are four more home games this year, all against Cleveland, on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. As if that wasn’t bizarre enough, multiple sources have told us the Twins will then head out on the road for an entire week of more baseball games. Perhaps even more remarkably, these results will count in the standings for both teams.

“I’ll be honest, I just switched into Vikings and Lynx mode after the trade deadline,” said Fiona Barrington, Shaw’s co-worker. “I honestly assumed they didn’t have enough players left, anyway. This is pretty wild. Do their families know?”

The final home series of the year, which, again, we have verified to be real, begins tonight, with Pablo López taking the mound versus the Guardians. There’s even a website where you can buy tickets. Huh.

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[Glorybound]

All kidding aside. Would it not be better to just cancel the 26 season for the Twins? Just give everyone a w that is on the schedule. Really hard to see anything good coming. Looking forward to a 100 loss season is just hard for me I guess.

[mikelink45]

Thanks to the Vikings for losing JJ again and giving the Twins a chance for another article - a big story among the obits.  

Don't the Lynx know that MN sports is not based on winning?  I am appalled - they might even when the championship!

[chinmusic]

Good article.

Simultaneously funny and sad.

[Patzky]

The Guardians are darn happy the Twins are still playing! 

Hope they change their minds by Sunday. Seven game win streak and the Tigers are tanking. Nothing would be lovelier than to set them back a bit.

[silverslugger]

Twins who?

[ashbury]

I fact-checked on snopes.com, and "RandBalls Stu" is apparently an entirely fictitious name which is totally made up and probably bogus.  Take that into account when assessing the truth of this article; it's probably a sting operation where they seek to lure a bunch of gullible people to the vicinity of Target Field where no baseball is being played and then deport them to the south side of Chicago where there is also no baseball being played.

[gil4]

44 minutes ago, ashbury said:

it's probably a sting operation where they seek to lure a bunch of gullible people to the vicinity of Target Field where no baseball is being played and then deport them to the south side of Chicago where there is also no baseball being played.

That might not be so bad. Maybe they can meet up at Squirrel's place and watch 1987 and 1991 World Series replays.

[Permanent Twins Fan]

5 hours ago, silverslugger said:

Twins who?

Rumor has it, there is actually a baseball team in the Twin Cities besides the Saints. 

[mluebker]

11 hours ago, Permanent Twins Fan said:

Rumor has it, there is actually a baseball team in the Twin Cities besides the Saints. 

Next year MLB could just send visiting teams over to St. Paul for games. Outside of the competitive improvement, who’d know the difference?

[Permanent Twins Fan]

2 minutes ago, mluebker said:

Next year MLB could just send visiting teams over to St. Paul for games. Outside of the competitive improvement, who’d know the difference?

If the Twins played in St. Paul, with only 7,210 seats, they would probably sell out a lot more. Then again, maybe not

[The Great Hambino]

1 hour ago, Permanent Twins Fan said:

If the Twins played in St. Paul, with only 7,210 seats, they would probably sell out a lot more. Then again, maybe not

The way things are going right now, they may have to move them to Parade Stadium to get a sellout

[Teflon]

Front Office masterminds Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom were counting on 2025's production of "Springtime for Pohlad" having a short run.