Hipster Twins Fan More Excited about A.J. Alexy Trade

[RandBalls Stu]

“It’s a pretty obscure transaction, you probably haven’t heard of it.”

Image courtesy of USA TODAY NETWORK

 

The shocking return of Carlos Correa and the circumstances surrounding it are THE topic of conversation in Twins Territory. Except for one irritating man.

“Maybe it’s just me, but I guess I want to see how A.J. Alexy fits in to the team’s bullpen plans for 2023,” said Xander Greene, a 29-year-old systems analyst from Minneapolis. “It’s a pretty obscure transaction, you probably haven’t heard of it.”

The Twins acquired Alexy, 24, from the Nationals in exchange for fellow righthander Christian Jimenez, mere hours before the Correa bombshell. And it’s all Greene wants to talk about.

“I mean, everyone wants to talk about Correa’s leg and how his contract is structured,” sneered Greene, who will tell you he doesn’t own a television even if you don’t ask. “I guess I’m just built different. The bullpen is pretty important and the Twins had a bad one last year.”

Greene, who brings a typewriter to the coffee shop because apparently that’s a thing, says he’s barely read about the Correa signing.

“Is it a long-term deal,” asked the grown man with a pocket watch. “I honestly don’t know. I don’t regret not having a smartphone, but I can see its utility for queries like this.

“What I can tell you is that Alexy’s control problems are probably why the Twins were able to get him for an 18-year-old (Jimenez) who still plays in the Dominican Republic. The risk was worth taking if the team can fix him, he has the stuff to be in the discussion for high-leverage work. But nobody wants to talk about that, they just want to talk about the same old, same old.”

While putting a new cassette in his Walkman, Greene had one more thing to add.

“Did anyone know they DFA’d Kyle Garlick on Wednesday? I could talk for 25 minutes about how he destroys left-handed pitching and would be a great fit in, say, Toronto. But I guess everyone wants to talk about the new old shortstop. That’s fine. It’s fine.”

Greene got on his unicycle and pedaled away.

 

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[DJL44]

Come on. We all know that guy is more into pro pickleball than he is into baseball.

[Greggory Masterson]

The unprompted explanation about why he doesn’t have a smartphone in the middle of discussing the trade is tremendous

[sun]

I'm more excited about a Dodgers former top RHP prospect named Jose De Leon that was signed by the Twins to a minor league contract in mid-December. He's been pitching in the Puerto Rican Winter League.  

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/dodgers-former-top-pitching-prospect-signs-with-al-central-team/ar-AA15hU8D?fbclid=IwAR1FJx9b2yF-OcUehjFhIxgwfnIiyOtpUPlKaDxWmXsvk24VFSzkvZMLa-8

Stats:

https://www.baseball-reference.com/register/player.fcgi?id=deleon008jos&fbclid=IwAR3spmr8f_EUKJ-t8bJ99gh3bJBxZTI2TIKTpMO4i1vc6I9EUHQq0G-fyvw

Youtube video - length 47 seconds:

 

 

[Beast]

Hilarious, and not that far off from reality.

Change the title to “ball guys” of TD, and add a couple paragraphs about them claiming Nick Gordon is the best OF on the team, and this is no longer fiction.

[August J Gloop]

1 hour ago, sun said:

I'm more excited about a Dodgers former top RHP prospect named Jose De Leon that was signed by the Twins to a minor league contract in mid-December. He's been pitching in the Puerto Rican Winter League.  

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/dodgers-former-top-pitching-prospect-signs-with-al-central-team/ar-AA15hU8D?fbclid=IwAR1FJx9b2yF-OcUehjFhIxgwfnIiyOtpUPlKaDxWmXsvk24VFSzkvZMLa-8

Stats:

https://www.baseball-reference.com/register/player.fcgi?id=deleon008jos&fbclid=IwAR3spmr8f_EUKJ-t8bJ99gh3bJBxZTI2TIKTpMO4i1vc6I9EUHQq0G-fyvw

Youtube video - length 47 seconds:

 

 

The batters he's facing aren't that great, but he's getting strikeouts and keeping the ball in the yard. Good signs. Means he's healthy at least. potential to make a big difference 

[wsnydes]

I NEED to know what the cassette is!  Assuming that I can find my Walkman, and it still works, and the headphones aren't broken, and I have fresh batteries, and I can find a typewriter, I can live this story instead of read it!  But first, I need to know what the cassette is!

Otherwise, I'm not sure it'd be worth the effort.

[mikelink45]

The important thing here is that it shows our front office is multidimensional. While others think that shortstop is all they cared about they are busy feeling our bullpen with talents that other teams have not figured out how to use or succeed with.

[ashbury]

I was saying "I was a hipster before it was cool," before it was cool, and I found this obscure little article about Alexy which you might find interesting reading.

[IndianaTwin]

5 hours ago, wsnydes said:

I NEED to know what the cassette is!  Assuming that I can find my Walkman, and it still works, and the headphones aren't broken, and I have fresh batteries, and I can find a typewriter, I can live this story instead of read it!  But first, I need to know what the cassette is!

Otherwise, I'm not sure it'd be worth the effort.

Air Supply’s “Greatest Hits, Vol. 2.”

[sampleSizeOfOne]

14 hours ago, ashbury said:

I was saying "I was a hipster before it was cool," before it was cool, and I found an obscure little article about Alexy which you might find interesting reading.

I'm still waiting for it to be cool too.

 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

19 hours ago, wsnydes said:

I NEED to know what the cassette is!  Assuming that I can find my Walkman, and it still works, and the headphones aren't broken, and I have fresh batteries, and I can find a typewriter, I can live this story instead of read it!  But first, I need to know what the cassette is!

Otherwise, I'm not sure it'd be worth the effort.

I'm pretty sure if you google the term "rickroll", you'll find out.

Be sure to get a typewriter with "mythic resonance", and let me know how you manage to carry it on your unicycle.

[wsnydes]

2 minutes ago, sampleSizeOfOne said:

I'm pretty sure if you google the term "rickroll", you'll find out.

Be sure to get a typewriter with "mythic resonance", and let me know how you manage to carry it on your unicycle.

I was falling for the rickroll bit before the rickrolling bit was cool! 

(adjusts fedora)

 

 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

20 minutes ago, wsnydes said:

(adjusts fedora)

Speaking of which, there is a rumor of a new Henry Jones Jr movie?

[sampleSizeOfOne]

22 hours ago, RandBalls Stu said:

The Twins acquired Alexy, 24, from the Nationals in exchange for fellow righthander Christian Jimenez, mere hours before the Correa bombshell. And it’s all Greene wants to talk about.

The real question is how many Cy Youngs and WS rings Jimenez will win over his HOF career?

[Scott51104]

Carrying a walkman AND a typewriter while riding a unicycle - I sure couldn't do that 41 years ago.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

2 hours ago, Scott51104 said:

Carrying a walkman AND a typewriter while riding a unicycle - I sure couldn't do that 41 years ago.

Meh, walkmen had belt clips. Typewriters don't.

 

Glad my curiosity is shared. 

 

Does the typewrite go in the basket in front, or the rack on the back?

Edited January 14, 2023 by sampleSizeOfOne
spilling not my speciality. and what is plural of walkman?