Cleveland Finds Another Incredible Pitcher Between Couch Cushions

[RandBalls Stu]

'Oh, this happens all the time for everyone, I bet,' said a team spokesperson.

 

Cleveland’s surprise surge to the top of the AL Central has left both fans and media types grasping for an explanation. A weak division with the projected winner struggling. A farm system that’s been exceptional at identifying and developing talent. MVP work from Jose Ramirez. And finding another remarkable talent in the couch cushions.

“Terry (Francona, Cleveland Manager) was looking for the TV remote in the clubhouse couch during Spring Training,” said a team source. “He was rummaging and rummaging and then just like that, here’s (Cleveland closer) Emmanuel Clase. We ran him out there and now he’s helping us steal a game from the Twins.”

As competitors like Minnesota have struggled for decades to develop pitchers, Cleveland’s success stands in stark contrast.

“We found Zach Plesac wandering around Cedar Point, playing carnival games,” said a team spokesperson. “One of our scouts was reaching in his pocket for his keys and pulled out Shane Bieber. A clubhouse attendant bought a hope chest at an estate sale and Corey Kluber was inside.”

When told this string of obscene fortune was beyond comprehension, the spokesperson disagreed.

“I think a lot of major league teams have strapping young farmhands stop by the stadium to see if they can help with the harvest, like we did with Jim Thome,” said the spokesperson.” This happens all the time for everyone, I bet.”

Sources close to the Minnesota Twins confirmed that this has never happened to the franchise, except for when New Prague hobby farmer Junior Ortiz got lost on his way to Frattalone’s Hardware and played catcher for the 1990 and 1991 Twins. Ortiz won a World Series title before realizing the Metrodome did not have potting soil and Ron Gardenhire was not a lawn gnome.

 

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[LewFordLives]

I know this is satire, but how many quality starters have the Twins developed in the last 25 years? Berrios, Radke....I guess you can count Santana.

[Game7-91]

Definite resemblance?

[Richie the Rally Goat]

13 minutes ago, Game7-91 said:

Definite resemblance?

I can’t blame Junior for making that mistake

[MinnInPa]

so true ..Twins just cant develop pitching.. they may get 3/4 caliber starters and spotty relievers...but never an Ace or shut down closer

 

[mikelink45]

Cleveland, being on the south shore of Lake Erie has lake effect rain and snow - the result is that it does not rain cats and dogs like other places - it rains starters and relievers - you just need a rain barrel to catch them.

[Dave The Dastardly]

The Twins prefer perspiration instead of inspiration. Instead of using a new colt we prefer to beat a dead horse.

[Ex-Iowegian]

He really IS a lawn gnome.....

Now it all makes sense.

[ashbury]

Oh, ha ha! Yes!  Because Cleveland's success with pitching is not luck at all!  You say the opposite.  Is funny!