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Game Thread, Twins @ Tigers, 5/18 @ 12:10 pm CT

formerly33

By formerly33
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formerly33 Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

formerly33

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Wednesday 5/18, 12:10 PM CT at Comerica Park

TV: FS-N; Radio: Go 96-3, TIBN

 

Fantastic baseball weather with clear skies and a high near 65. Northeast wind 6 to 8 mph.

 

 

 

Introduction

 

I would like to thank Joseph Mauer for leading off the game in the DH spot; in an alternate universe with no Joe, this Twins team would be significantly worse. A warm thank you to Eduardo Nunez for batting second and playing shortstop, and a very special thanks to Miguel Sano in the three-hole and performing his duties to the very best of his abilities in right. I am deeply grateful for Byung-ho Park who has the cleaning duties for the day and will be covering first; also Trevor Plouffe at third, Brian Dozier at second, Eddie Rosario in left, Kurt Suzuki catching, and Danny Santana in center field ... yada yada yada ... and my sincerest thanks to Nolasco, who will be toeing the rubber for the Twins for an undetermined amount of innings this game.

 

An additional thank you to Ian Kinsler at second, J. D. Martinez in right, Miguel Cabrera at first, Victor Martinez DH'ing for Justin Verlander who will be taking the mound in today's match-up, ol' Nick Castellanos at third, Justin Upton in left, Cameron Maybin in center, Jarrod Saltalamacchia catching, and Jose Iglesias at short. To all of these I am indebted, for without them, this game thread would not exist (though of course this is a counterfactual fallacy, but I'm trying to keep in the spirit of things here, dontcha know).

 

Always33

Twins Daily

May 2016

 

 

Welcome to the game thread – we got fun and games

We got everything you want honey, we know the names

We are the people that can find whatever you may need

...

 

 

Chapter 1

 

I'm not a fairweather fan, but my love affair with the Twins which I wrote about one year ago in what I like to pretend is a now legendary composition is no longer what it used to be, leaving me wondering if I'm a traitor of some sort to take the game thread today when, other than high school baseball (go Zephs!), I've neglected that aspect of my life to an alarming extent over the last few months.

 

The sequel to the aforementioned story isn't really baseball related, so I won't elaborate on that other than stating that my first crush, Music, made a dramatic reappearance in my life, and at long last my lifelong dreams are being fulfilled as I will be going to school for music this fall. I'm still in a state of shock and disbelief, but I'll attempt to put up my best performance this morning in order to help the Twins avoid a series sweep.

 

 

Chapter 2

 

A brief recap of this series features a new team record for lengthiest game thread in modern history. Of more or less importance, during the series opener, the Tigers scored eight runs in the first inning off of Berrios; you'd think that would be enough, especially considering who we are, but apparently that assumption fails to take into consideration who the Tigers are (or at least the Tigers pitching). Kurt Suzuki stepped up to the plate in the second and hit a two run homer to put us on the board, and while he didn't do too badly, I couldn't help but wonder if we would have won had Juan Centeno started. It turns out I was wrong, but that will wait.

 

Miguel Sano hit a solo homer in the third, and in the top of the fourth, the Twins went on to score four more runs, cutting the deficit to one. In the bottom of the fourth, Castellanos was called out on strikes, much to the dismay of Tigers skipper Brad Ausmus, who, despite the fact that the call looked much less questionable than some of the calls I've had the rare pleasure of being witness to at various high school games this year, popped out of the dugout like a jack out of its box and gave Doug Eddings a lesson on the usage of hard core swear words, meanwhile covering Mr. Eddings' shirt front with spittle. Unimpressed with his showmanship, Eddings tossed him from the game, and Brad followed up by thoughtfully lending his sweatshirt to the poor, shivering plate. In my most humble and mildly perverted opinion, Brad Ausmus doesn’t hold a candle to Torii Hunter when it comes to the removal of clothing.

 

Back on topic, the Twins ended up tying the game in the top of the 7th, but solo shots by Castellanos and J. D. Martinez in the 7th and 8th led the Tigers to a not unexpected victory over the Twins.

 

During last night's game, Centeno started the game and went 0-4 with two groundouts, a flyout, and a strikeout. He was not too helpful towards the Twins' cause, though I can only imagine his fielding was spectacular. Mauer and Sano both hit home runs to put the Twins up 2-0, but in the 7th the Tigers scored 7 runs and subsequently won the game.

 

 

Chapter 3

 

I wouldn’t say today’s game is a different story. It goes something like this:

 

Twins have a 36% chance of winning. For those who wonder, that's not a good indication of success on the field this afternoon. I harbor a strong dislike for day games during the week. I will not be watching.

 

 

Chapter 4

 

Alright … that aside … the issue of negativity has been huge in this community as of late. Well, it's always huge … monstrous or astronomical are probably better terms for the here and now. My takes (disclaimer: this is only meant as fun and lighthearted; no offense intended - please keep it this way!):

 

There are two camps on Twins Daily: the Negative Nellies and the Positive Petes. At first glance it's hard to tell the difference between the two, but after time you realize what an extremely intricate process this whole affair is. On joining Twins Daily, those who like the letter n join the Nellies camp, and those who prefer p become Peters. Other than that, there are few noticeable differences; however, after a year or more of quietly standing on the sidelines watching the rest hash it out in the baseball threads, a privileged few survivors such as myself will come to the realization that the n's have a very positive outlook on life and routinely focus on the floor so they can either be happy when the Twins exceed their expectations or else be happy when they were right (!) and the Twins get a high pick in the draft. P's, on the other hand, spend their days bemoaning the fact that n's aren't optimistic enough and the Twins are somehow playing even worse baseball than they ever dreamed about in their most graphic nightmares. It's all very confusing and can get out of hand at times, but the moderators do their best to keep things under control, and in the end we all love each other and our little idiosyncrasies and agree that Terry Ryan would look quite dapper decapitated with his upper portions served on a silver platter like John the Baptist.

 

 

Chapter 5

 

Speaking of Terry Ryan, I had the honor of representing the Twins Daily community by sitting down for an interview with that kind gentleman during last night's game. It turns out he views us all as a sort of consolidated Luke Skywalker type character – lamentably necessary for the show, but uninteresting and possessing ample room for improvement. This is how the conversation went:

 

Me: "Hey, Terry."

 

TR: "How's it going, Always."

 

Me: "Let's not beat around the bush. You said this team was loaded with talent."

 

TR: "Watch your mouth, kid (at Terry's age, everyone seems like a kid to him, but I'm pretty certain he deemed me perfectly embryonic); give it some time. I have some tricks up my belt."

 

Me: "Are you kidding? We started this season with an unplugged drain, and the team's gone right down it. All you did this offseason was make a young team younger … the only major move you made was signing a questionable KBO slugger, and don't try to say your success in that area was anything more than luck. You're handling Buxton exactly how you handled Hicks … if we can't keep Buxton for more than a few years, it would be nice to get something more than a AAAA catcher in return. And given the way you handle your first round draft picks, running away with the 2016 loss record doesn't seem as appealing as it should. And don't even get me started on the bullpen … "

 

TR: "Yeah … let's not delve into the profound depths of organizing a competitive bullpen. Competing in the Major Leagues doesn't compare to your beer leagues, dude. Without precise calculations we could ruin the growth of our young players, and that'd get us contracted out of the league real fast, wouldn't it?"

 

At this point in the conversation the game had become painfully slow, and attendees were having a hard time focusing on the game. Distracted, I pointed off towards our right and asked, "What's that flashing?"

 

"A drunken fan," said Terry, turning away in disgust. "Call security." As he paced indignantly away, he was heard muttering under his breath, "These idiots think they can make the jump from working a Jimmy Johns bicycle delivery route to making transactions for a Major League team, and they can't even keep their eyes on the field for one full minute … that's why we need Dave St. Peter … damn it all."

 

Following this little dialogue, I turned to a Tigers fan sitting next to me and commented on how the team was in shambles and everyone else was sitting on the sidelines, laughing and pointing their fingers. The Tigers fan in question was no exception to the general rule and made some typical snarky comment, the memory of which is still painful and I care not to repeat; my only defense (lame, but still better than the Twins') was a stuttered, "I'm not a homer, but we could be worse … " To which the Tigers fan retorted, "Obviously you're not a homer because if you were you'd belong to the Twins, and then maybe they'd be able to win some games. Yeah … that's what the Twins need … more homers."

 

 

And, with that happy thought,

 

The end.

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DaveW All-Star

DaveW

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

Typically I looked forward to day baseball games, but this one smells like a blowout. Might go catch a matinee instead, has anyone seen any of the following movies:

 

Sicilian Vampire

Money Monster

Keanu

 

Any worth seeing? It's $8 day at the theater down the block.

USAFChief GOAT

USAFChief

Twins Daily Contributor
Posted
Posted

"What's that flashing?"

"A drunken fan," said Terry, turning away in disgust. "Call security."

 

I laughed.

 

 

John Kelsey FCL Twins

John Kelsey

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

I was hoping Jorge Polanco's good play recently would get him playing time every day, especially with Nunez cooling off.

 

Dozier has been better this month, but I wouldn't mind seeing him rest a bit more in favor of Polanco. 

Otto von Ballpark All-Star

Otto von Ballpark

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

 

I was hoping Jorge Polanco's good play recently would get him playing time every day, especially with Nunez cooling off.

Nope! I wonder what the over/under date is on Polanco starting 3 MLB games in a row...

sampleSizeOfOne MVP

sampleSizeOfOne

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

If some moderating super hero could fix the date on the thread title, um, it might advert confusion? Feel free to delete this post while yer at it. Or not as ya see fit.

 

It takes a finely tuned mind to advance MM/DD as though it were DD/MM...

Blake All-Star

Blake

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

Where is he going?

With the way the season is going, probably the nearest bar.

James FCL Twins

James

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

I'm betting that Verlander reaches 2000 strike outs today.  

Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

 

Typically I looked forward to day baseball games, but this one smells like a blowout. Might go catch a matinee instead, has anyone seen any of the following movies:

 

Sicilian Vampire

Money Monster

Keanu

 

Any worth seeing? It's $8 day at the theater down the block.

 

I've been thinking about Money Monster but I haven't seen any of these. 

Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

 

I was hoping Jorge Polanco's good play recently would get him playing time every day, especially with Nunez cooling off.

 

This is becoming a perpetual hope for me. 

Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

 

Nope! I wonder what the over/under date is on Polanco starting 3 MLB games in a row...

 

It's looking like September

Aggies7 MVP

Aggies7

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

Now Rosario makes another high school mistake. One run should be enough today. And I'm done watching this garbage.

PopRiveter Draft Eligible

PopRiveter

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

so much for the perfect game.

...and the no hitter, and the shut out.

 

 

But, we can still hope for what I call the "Nolasco No No."

 

That is to say, a no decision.

James FCL Twins

James

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

that would be 222.2 per inning and a complete game. prolly not outa the question ...

XRQew_s-200x150.gif?c=popkey-web&p=mlb&i

Aggies7 MVP

Aggies7

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

 

Gameday blamed Nunez... strange.

I was wondering, do baseball fans ever chant "error ball"?

Throw was wide....Park stayed on the bag and reached for it instead of coming off to prevent an overthrow.

USAFChief GOAT

USAFChief

Twins Daily Contributor
Posted
Posted

 

that would be 222.2 per inning and a complete game. prolly not outa the question ...

extra innings.  

 

completely not outa the question.

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