Game Thread: Twins @ Mariners, 7/8 @ 9:10pm CT

[Tibs]

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? They say he's all right now.

[snepp]

The audio for FSN keeps cutting out every once in a while and it was been doing it for at least the last week or so. Is it doing that for anyone else?

 

No.

 

 

 

 

I'm jealous.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Twins Daily. Come for the baseball, stay for the musical encyclopedia.

 

Twinsdaily. Come for the baseball, stay for the textiles

 

The bulk of my textile knowledge is from the ballad of harry lewis:

 

 

And there is an instance doily should be capitalized, namely when it is well, a name, as in D'oyle Carte.

 

Good luck on the curtains, Ash!

[Squirrel]

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

 

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.

[Riverbrian]

Quick, Brian! What's the dirtiest joke you know?

 

As an airplane is about to crash... A female passenger jumps up frantically and says... "If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman."

 

(wait.. I can't finish this joke on TD) (Unless you mean... Pig fell into the mud)

 

Ok let's change the joke...

 

Airplane about to crash... Woman says... If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman.... She removes all her clothing and says... "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

 

A man stands up... He removes his shirt and says, "Here... iron this!".

[Willihammer]

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

 

How much do you need to fashion a noose?

[LaBombo]

I would drape myself in velvet, if it was sociably acceptable.

 

BBC correspondent D. Bowie makes a persuasive argument that ch ch ch changes are on the way, so don't recycle the velvet just yet.

 

Also, are the Twins shutting out the SubMariners through seven? Cool!

[Tibs]

As an airplane is about to crash... A female passenger jumps up frantically and says... "If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman."

 

(wait.. I can't finish this joke on TD) (Unless you mean... Pig fell into the mud)

 

Ok let's change the joke...

 

Airplane about to crash... Woman says... If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman.... She removes all her clothing and says... "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

 

A man stands up... He removes his shirt and says, "Here... iron this!".

Heeeyyyyyoooooo!!!

[ashbury]

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

 

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.

 

I may have rounded.

[ashbury]

How much do you need to fashion a noose?

 

Oh, a fashion noose takes twice as much.

[howeda7]

You have to bunt here....

[Guest USAFChief]

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

 

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.

 

 

This seems way complicated to me. My suggestion is to not buy any house that has windows wider than a standard roll of aluminum foil.

[glunn]

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

 

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.

 

Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.

[Squirrel]

I may have rounded.

 

If that's the case, then you have yourself to blame for this escapade.

[Squirrel]

Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.

 

I didn't really explain that very well, but I knew what I meant.

[Riverbrian]

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

 

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.

 

I love this about game threads. The fact that making curtains can be both sensibly and whimsically posted. The Folks at Indians Daily are jealous of us.

[JB_Iowa]

I may have rounded.

 

Nah, depending on the fabric, you want 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 times the width of your windows. Then you figure out how many panels that is and take it times the appropriate length plus hems and headers to caluculate yardage.

 

Depending on what fabric you are using, 100 yards really isn't that outrageous (especially if it is sheer or semi-sheer).

 

Going to go crochet some doilies now.

[Tibs]

Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.

I'm still not completely sure what a doily is. Some kind of mat?

[ashbury]

You have to bunt here....

 

He missed the sign from third base. 500 dollar fine for getting the runner over to third.

[Guest USAFChief]

If that's the case, then you have yourself to blame for this escapade.

Counsellor Glunn pretty much already established this, no?

[LaBombo]

As an airplane is about to crash... A female passenger jumps up frantically and says... "If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman."

 

(wait.. I can't finish this joke on TD) (Unless you mean... Pig fell into the mud)

 

Ok let's change the joke...

 

Airplane about to crash... Woman says... If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman.... She removes all her clothing and says... "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

 

A man stands up... He removes his shirt and says, "Here... iron this!".

 

What was the original, more dangerous punchline, and why are you better off for not having revealed it?

 

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_liugmu0DW71qcrzkko1_500.gif

[Squirrel]

Nah, depending on the fabric, you want 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 times the width of your windows. Then you figure out how many panels that is and take it times the appropriate length plus hems and headers to caluculate yardage.

 

Depending on what fabric you are using, 100 yards really isn't that outrageous (especially if it is sheer or semi-sheer).

 

Going to go crochet some doilies now.

Yup ... and ... you really want it cut from the same bolt ... different lots can yield slight differences in dyes.

[glunn]

Meanwhile, Fuld is 3 for 3, the defense has been solid, and the Twins have baserunners at the corners with no outs.

[John Kelsey]

http://images.yuku.com.s3.amazonaws.com/image/gif/5a816b12d00c65af30b395f730ed6c933522cc19.gif

[Squirrel]

And I'm just too tired to stay awake. I'll check the score in the morning.

[Willihammer]

Oh, a fashion noose takes twice as much.

 

OK, I will solve everyone's fabric related problems right now.

 

2-Ply.

 

YW

[Riverbrian]

Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.

 

I don't even know that... Can't tell you how many times I've gone to the window to pull the cord... Only to find its all twisted so the curtains don't move. I usually pretend I didn't notice them not closed when my wife asks.

 

She usually untangles them and closes them at this point and my only punishment is an eye roll.

[glunn]

And I'm just too tired to stay awake. I'll check the score in the morning.

 

Sleep well.

[ashbury]

If that's the case, then you have yourself to blame for this escapade.

 

I had no role in this story except chauffeur, and now scribe.

[stringer bell]

How about a crooked number?