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Game Thread: Twins @ Yankees, 5/31@12:10pm CT


Squirrel

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Community Moderator
Posted

Game-time forecast: Partly cloudy. Winds blowing in from left field at 10-15 m.p.h. Temperature near 70.

 

Twins:

SP, Correia

 

Dozier 2B

Escobar SS

Mauer DH

Willingham LF

Arcia RF

Plouffe 3B

Parmelee 1B

Pinto C

Hicks CF

 

Yankees:

SP, Tanaka

 

Gardner LF

Jeter DH

Ellsbury CF

Teixiera 1B

-Roberts (PH/6) 2B

McCann C

Soriano RF

Solarte 2B-3B

Johnson 3B-1B

Ryan SS

 

--------------------------------

 

And we patiently await for Brian's morning coffee to reach his brain ... check back soon-ish.

-----------------------------------

 

No Problem... I just poured the coffee directly on it. Of course my skull was in the way but I found that the burning sensation did jump start me a bit.

 

Things to Think About:

 

1. Bloody Eyelids -- In a survey of 100 women... 75% of all women do not find bloody eyelids attractive in a man... 16% don't care either way... 5% seek out men with bloody eyelids and 4% can't find Nebraska on a map. Other interesting data from the survey... 66% would treat the injury with hydrogen peroxide. 22% would treat the wound with stronger nuclear materials and 12% would leave it alone hoping he learns a lesson. More information from the women. 90% percent feel a band aid on they eyelid would look strange while 60% percent think an eye patch would be kinda sexy. 14% percent think an eye patch on both eyes would stop men from looking at other women. 98% would be upset if he got blood on his shirt or furniture and 106% feel strongly that it is the man's fault. No matter what the women think... Danna Santana is out of the lineup today after getting 7 eyelid stitches.

 

2. Mashiro Tanaka -- Starting for the Yankees today is the latest Japanese sensation Mashiro Tanaka. This guy is 7-1 with a 2.29 ERA. Combine this with his 24-0 record in Japan last year and he has lost just once while winning whatever 24 + 7 is(I didn't bring my abacus). Mashiro is 25 years old and was born in the Hyogo prefecture of Japan. I had to look up what a "prefecture is". The difference between a prefecture and a state is prefectures don't have the same authority that states hold... Prefecture are more like counties. I only thing I know about counties is that I seem to get busted for speeding more in certain counties than others. I've seen Tanaka pitch a couple of times and the first thing that caught my eye was his splitter... It looked nasty.

 

3. Yosmil Pinto -- He's in the lineup today!!! Starting at Catcher and batting 8th. So... Now what can I complain about. Complaining about Pinto was starting to feel comfortable and once you find comfort in complaining... when you don't have anything to complain about you start to feel uncomfortable. I guess I'm like a farmer... It either rains too much or it doesn't rain enough.

 

4. 4 5 and 6 -- With Plouffe moved from 3 to 6 in the lineup... The Middle of the order supplied power for our Twins last night and I hope it continues to do just that. Tack on Parmelee at 7 and Pinto at 8 and we have 5 guys in a row who can jerk one. They may need to jerk some today against Tanaka.

 

5. Mountain Bikes -- My son has a mountain bike... What he doesn't have... is a mountain.

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Old-Timey Member
Posted

I am going to the game today, thus we already know the Twins will lose. The good news is you can enjoy this beautiful day with your family/friends/lover(s) instead of wasting 4 hours watching Correia give up bomb after bomb.

 

Your welcome in advance,

 

SOVD

Community Moderator
Posted

Hey, if the Cubs can beat Tanaka, so can we! Oh, wait ... the Cubs don't have Correia ...

Posted
I am going to the game today, thus we already know the Twins will lose. The good news is you can enjoy this beautiful day with your family/friends/lover(s) instead of wasting 4 hours watching Correia give up bomb after bomb.

 

Your welcome in advance,

 

SOVD

 

Why on earth would you choose to go to THIS game?

Community Moderator
Posted
Has anyone heard how Santana is doing?

 

This from LEN3: Danny Santana is not available today after taking seven stitches in his right upper eyelid on Friday. His eye is a little swollen, and trainers told Gardenhire no-go with Santana.

 

Hmm ... I thought it was his left eye?

Old-Timey Member
Posted
This from LEN3: Danny Santana is not available today after taking seven stitches in his right upper eyelid on Friday. His eye is a little swollen, and trainers told Gardenhire no-go with Santana.

 

Hmm ... I thought it was his left eye?

 

LEN3 desperately needs a copy editor, a job that apparently no longer exists at the Strib.

Community Moderator
Posted
LEN3 desperately needs a copy editor, a job that apparently no longer exists at the Strib.

 

I could be wrong. I don't know where I got left eye. So maybe I should get the copy editor? ;)

Old-Timey Member
Posted
A little weak at 1B and DH, but hey, the corner OFs, and the rest of the infield is OK>

 

"Irony Alert?"

Community Moderator
Posted

 

1. Bloody Eyelids -- In a survey of 100 women... 75% of all women do not find bloody eyelids attractive in a man... 16% don't care either way... 5% seek out men with bloody eyelids and 4% can't find Nebraska on a map. Other interesting data from the survey... 66% would treat the injury with hydrogen peroxide. 22% would treat the wound with stronger nuclear materials and 12% would leave it alone hoping he learns a lesson. More information from the women. 90% percent feel a band aid on they eyelid would look strange while 60% percent think an eye patch would be kinda sexy. 14% percent think an eye patch on both eyes would stop men from looking at other women. 98% would be upset if he got blood on his shirt or furniture and 106% feel strongly that it is the man's fault. No matter what the women think... Danna Santana is out of the lineup today after getting 7 eyelid stitches.

 

 

You know, Brian ... just some friendly advice. It's kind of dangerous to pretend to think you know what women think, even jokingly. ;)

Posted
Dozier 2B

Escobar SS

Mauer DH

Willingham LF

Arcia RF

Plouffe 3B

Parmelee 1B

Pinto C

Hicks CF

 

I like this lineup. The only way it could be better is with Mauer playing 1st and Suzuki DH-ing, but I think we all know that will not happen.

 

Any lineup that has The Fire Hydrant in the 8 hole, can't be all bad.

Posted

Great hitting approach by our DH. Look at the first pitch fastball strike so you can eventually strike out on the unhittable splitter.

 

Fortunately Willy picks J(O and 1) up...attakid!

Provisional Member
Posted
This from LEN3: Danny Santana is not available today after taking seven stitches in his right upper eyelid on Friday. His eye is a little swollen, and trainers told Gardenhire no-go with Santana.

 

Hmm ... I thought it was his left eye?

 

Baseball players are wusses.

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