Dear Byron, Caleb, Emilio, Gio, Luis, Miguel and Ryan,
Today's loss was a team effort. Please follow Doctor Bombo's ten-point prescription to prevent further downers like this game.
Neatly fold your rain-soaked, muddy uniforms
Stack and place them in a heavy duty, 2-ply trash bag
Put the lineup card and box score on top of the stack
Collect all game balls and put them in the bag; do not use for BP or sell in the gift shop as "game (ab)used"
Seal the bag tightly with duct tape
Place the bag in the Target Field dumpster
Secure the dumpster lid tightly to deny carrion any access
Turn 180 degrees, walk away from the dumpster without looking back
Have someone drive you home, sleep at least eight hours
Enjoy a big, hot breakfast with your loved ones
Stick 'em tomorrow!
One more item 11. for Miguel. The next time you see Roy Smalley in the ball park, chat him up. Bring Max with you.