Your Dad to Spend 2026 Season Calling Orlando Arcia ‘Oswaldo’

[RandBalls Stu]

Image courtesy of Flickr/Ian D'Andrea

Sources close to your dad have confirmed that the lifelong Minnesota Twins fan and current season ticket holder will spend most of the upcoming season calling free agent signing Orlando Arcia “Oswaldo.”

Oswaldo Arcia, Orlando’s brother, played for the Twins from 2013-16. Even though your dad probably knows this, “the snowball is already rolling downhill,” per your mom.

“Your father was skimming that (local chicken fried rice expert/journalist Aaron) Gleeman fellow’s Athletic column on his iPad and said, ‘Hey looks like we got Oswaldo back,’ or something to that effect. Your brother tried to correct him, but he already took his readers off to go see if the recycling truck had been here.”

The younger Arcia, who was an All-Star in 2023 but has slumped mightily since, signed a minor-league deal and is in the mix for a team that is in desperate need of depth at shortstop. Oswaldo last played major league baseball in 2016.

“I always liked Oswaldo,” your dad is reported to have said. “Wasn’t he one of The Piranhas? God those guys hustled.”

Sources say that even when he finds out he’s mistaken, he’ll likely still use the incorrect brother’s name 75-80% of the time.

“Remember when Teddy Bridgewater was the Vikings quarterback, and dad kept calling him Timmy,” your brother said. “We tried so hard to correct him, but then he’d just say ‘Sounds like Timmy’s having a great offseason’ before looking out the window to see if that car was still parked across the street.”

Orlando played for both Atlanta and Colorado in 2024. After the Braves released him in June, the Rockies signed him and used him at multiple infield positions.

“Wonder if ol’ Oswaldo has anything left in the tank,” speculated your dad, before pulling up another YouTube video about the interstate highway system.

Image license here.

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[CRF]

Yeah...so will Gladden. 

[DJL44]

This is when I miss Bob Casey.

[Parfigliano]

My dream is to never hear the name "Orlando Arcia" spoken during a TC broadcast.

[TJSweens]

Since I doubt he makes the team, I'm sure I won't be calling him anything. 

[digging the dirt life]

Well, he IS my Dad, and the fact that he still has season tickets pretty much tells you everything you need to know...

[IndianaTwin]

As long as he doesn't call Ozney "Ozzie."

[sampleSizeOfOne]

There are youtube videos of the interstates?

Where have you been all my life?

At least he's not buying plane tickets to Oswaldo, Florida to pull Goofy's finger....

[Rod Carews Birthday]

@RandBalls Stu, you are one of the primary reasons that I come to Twins Daily.  Your posts are everything satirical posts should be -- funny, ironic, reflective, and giving one the wonder that they might possibly be true.  Don't ever stop!

[LastOnePicked]

That's fine. I'll probably be calling him Orlando Cabrera at least until August.