How You Can Spur the Twins into Action

[RandBalls Stu]

What can a single fan do to get the hot stove cooking? Twins Daily explores the possibilities.

Image courtesy of Unsplash/Julien L

The current Twins regime has gained a deserved reputation for being deliberate in their offseason maneuvering, letting the big names go off the board, seeing how the dust settles, then hitting the trade market and scouring for bargains and reclamation projects.

This drives otherwise normal fans absolutely bananas. Everyone’s doing stuff, but we’re just here getting nostalgic about Emilio Pagán. Despite knowing better, the impulse to demand action is hard to avoid.

And that’s OK. You should be passionate about your favorite team. Here are some productive ways for Twins fans to encourage the franchise to start making moves for 2024.

• Go to Target Field every Wednesday at 5pm. If you someone working in the company store or a custodian, yell “LET’S GO, C’MON NOW” at them for one minute. They will be confused, but will appreciate your enthusiasm.
• Flood beat writers with questions on social media and email. Although some of the journalists covering the team have a reputation for being short with people, they love nothing more than hundreds of fans asking the same questions about payroll and trade targets. Have a conspiracy theory? Even better! “I love these interactions,” says The Athletic’s Dan Hayes. At least I think that’s what he would say.
• Smack your TV or computer monitor on the side when you’re watching MLB TV. Maybe that’ll knock something loose. It worked for Fonzie.
• Wear your dumbest Twins merch. Did you buy a Tsuyoshi Nishioka jersey? Get ill-fitting Twins Zubaz as a gift? Have a giveaway hat from a Metrodome-era game with a sponsor that no longer exists? All of these things? This is how you show the universe you will follow this team into hell, and they should make a move to reward your steadfast loyalty.
• Mutter “Do something already. Man.” Constantly. You’re likely already doing this.
• Overreact to moves by the Kansas City Royals and Detroit Tigers. Constantly. You’re likely already doing this. “What if Michael Wacha is this year’s Sonny Gray?” Seems unlikely, but that won’t stop you from getting into a good lather about Minnesota’s relative inactivity.
• Laugh at the plight of the godless Chicago White Sox. Constantly. You’re likely already doing this. It’s good to laugh!

Finally, and most importantly: Don’t let it ruin the holidays. The temptation is there. You can let this bug the entire hell of you right into the new year. But don’t. This is what the Vikings are for.

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[Cory Engelhardt]

I do think this is one that doesn't need satire listed out at the top. I'm already doing all of these things. 

Especially laughing about the White Sox. 

[Brandon]

The Twins just made their biggest offseason move yet.  They signed Nico Goodrum to a minor league deal.  Way to go Randball Stu.

Twins Sign Niko Goodrum To Minor League Deal - MLB Trade Rumors

[MMMordabito]

3 minutes ago, Brandon said:

The Twins just made their biggest offseason move yet.  They signed Nico Goodrum to a minor league deal.  Way to go Randball Stu.

Twins Sign Niko Goodrum To Minor League Deal - MLB Trade Rumors

Niko Goodrum - WHOOP-DEE-FRIGGIN'-DOO!! 

[Brandon]

3 minutes ago, MMMordabito said:

Niko Goodrum - WHOOP-DEE-FRIGGIN'-DOO!! 

Satire escapes you, doesn't it?  The sad part about my satirical comment is that it is true ....

[Dave The Dastardly]

A back-up's back-up. It's what they call a depth-move. If they have to bring him up we know we're sunk.

[Parfigliano]

I've started a hunger strike.  If that doesnt get the FO's attention nothing will.

[ashbury]

1 hour ago, Parfigliano said:

I've started a hunger strike.  If that doesnt get the FO's attention nothing will.

I'm on an eating strike.  I am binging on Christmas treats, and won't stop until, well, I feel like it.  And when my doctor scolds me in January, I will blame the Twins.

[Jocko87]

I think one more article where aretheynow Akil Baddoo and Lamont Wade should do it.

On a seriously satirical note, last year at this time while we were all tuning out and metaphorically licking our wounds going from Correa to Gallo they were still slaving over a hot stove nurturing a dying ember that eventually became the biggest signing in team history. They may have had a little Pablo Lopez simmering on the back burner as well.

Seriously, what's up with the back burner at grandma's house? My mom always has something going back there.

[MMMordabito]

8 hours ago, Brandon said:

Satire escapes you, doesn't it?  The sad part about my satirical comment is that it is true ....

I thought I was behaving like the subjects of the article sans going to Target Field. 🙂

[MMMordabito]

5 hours ago, ashbury said:

I'm on an eating strike.  I am binging on Christmas treats, and won't stop until, well, I feel like it.  And when my doctor scolds me in January, I will blame the Twins.

Schedule blood work for the day after a holiday (Super Bowl in my case) like my dumbass did. That'll allow you to reach a higher level of scolding. 

Tip: Go heavy on options that include or are basically all cheese.

[ashbury]

2 minutes ago, MMMordabito said:

Schedule blood work for the day after a holiday (Super Bowl in my case) like my dumbass did. That'll allow you to reach a higher level of scolding. 

Tip: Go heavy on options that include or are basically all cheese.

My daughter is expecting and she says she's delaying the required blood glucose test until well after the holidays.  Now that's putting the baby's needs first! 

 

(She's doing wonderfully, actually.)

[MMMordabito]

2 minutes ago, ashbury said:

My daughter is expecting and she says she's delaying the required blood glucose test until well after the holidays.  Now that's putting the baby's needs first! 

 

(She's doing wonderfully, actually.)

I think she wants a child with innate Christmas spirit. 😄

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Now finally Niko has signed, he has set the market. Now the rest of the free agents will finally start signing.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

And i think we have to establish some methodology to determine which actually works. I propose conducting double blind trials. (it would be just peachy if we all fell into the pit)

[sampleSizeOfOne]

16 hours ago, ashbury said:

My daughter is expecting and she says she's delaying the required blood glucose test until well after the holidays.  Now that's putting the baby's needs first! 

 

(She's doing wonderfully, actually.)

Vicarious congrats!

Is there a machine that goes "ping" involved?

[Brandon]

Whatever you’re doing Randball Stu it’s working…… sort of.  Back to back days of transactions.  
https://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2023/12/twins-sign-a-j-alexy-to-minor-league-deal.html

[Boswell]

Nah, the guy on “the Athletic” who really enjoys the Twins fan interactions is actually someone else… 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

On 12/22/2023 at 9:17 AM, RandBalls Stu said:

Smack your TV or computer monitor on the side when you’re watching MLB TV. Maybe that’ll knock something loose. It worked for Fonzie.

Aaaaaaay!

 

This suggestion is under appreciated.