How You Can Spur the Twins into Action

I do think this is one that doesn't need satire listed out at the top. I'm already doing all of these things. 

Especially laughing about the White Sox. 

I've started a hunger strike.  If that doesnt get the FO's attention nothing will.

1 hour ago, Parfigliano said:

I've started a hunger strike.  If that doesnt get the FO's attention nothing will.

I'm on an eating strike.  I am binging on Christmas treats, and won't stop until, well, I feel like it.  And when my doctor scolds me in January, I will blame the Twins.

I think one more article where aretheynow Akil Baddoo and Lamont Wade should do it.

On a seriously satirical note, last year at this time while we were all tuning out and metaphorically licking our wounds going from Correa to Gallo they were still slaving over a hot stove nurturing a dying ember that eventually became the biggest signing in team history. They may have had a little Pablo Lopez simmering on the back burner as well.

Seriously, what's up with the back burner at grandma's house? My mom always has something going back there.

2 minutes ago, MMMordabito said:

Schedule blood work for the day after a holiday (Super Bowl in my case) like my dumbass did. That'll allow you to reach a higher level of scolding. 

Tip: Go heavy on options that include or are basically all cheese.

My daughter is expecting and she says she's delaying the required blood glucose test until well after the holidays.  Now that's putting the baby's needs first! 

(She's doing wonderfully, actually.)

Now finally Niko has signed, he has set the market. Now the rest of the free agents will finally start signing.

And i think we have to establish some methodology to determine which actually works. I propose conducting double blind trials. (it would be just peachy if we all fell into the pit)

16 hours ago, ashbury said:

My daughter is expecting and she says she's delaying the required blood glucose test until well after the holidays.  Now that's putting the baby's needs first! 

 

(She's doing wonderfully, actually.)

Vicarious congrats!

Is there a machine that goes "ping" involved?

On 12/22/2023 at 9:17 AM, RandBalls Stu said:

Smack your TV or computer monitor on the side when you’re watching MLB TV. Maybe that’ll knock something loose. It worked for Fonzie.

Aaaaaaay!

This suggestion is under appreciated.