Article: Game Thread: Twins @ Royals, 9/7 @ 7:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

It doesn't get any easier for our Twins: the Astros and now the Royals. The schedule maker won't allow us to play the A's and Tigers and Red Sox every day. No doubt about it... the Journey to the playoffs is long and hard.

 

So now... the Royals... a team that can beat you in many different ways.

 

We got no time to mess around. The Twins must best the Royals and do it after eating tons of barbecue ribs.

 

Here are some things to think About:1. Kansas City -- Driven by Manifest Destiny and the lack of decent internet service, one billion pioneers congregated at St. Louis to travel the trails westward. It was a 6-month journey on a wagon pulled by horses and the horses were not very happy about it. They loaded up the wagon with supplies and plunged forward with dreams of starting a new life in California and spending warm nights on the beach listening to Mötley Crüe. After crossing the state of Missouri... the enormity of the task started to become apparent. The women and children started complaining that it was too hot. They were tired of looking at and smelling the back end of the horses and the supplies were already running low after it was discovered that Uncle Bob had eaten all of the Doritos. The complaints from the wagon became louder and louder, and, after the numerous threats to turn around the wagon and go back home didn't work... some of the pioneers just quit. These are the people who settled Kansas City. The name Kansas City was chosen... Kansas is Spanish for "I refuse to go any further"... City is French for city.

 

2. The Royals -- Starting Pitching... check. Bullpen... check. Speed... check. Defense... check. Offense... yeah they got a little of that, too. The Royals have the best record in the American League and they've had the best record in baseball since Opening Day. They have been remarkably consistent all year. The Royals currently lead the Twins by 12 games in the AL Central and they have been leading the AL Central by 12 Games since Opening Day.

 

3. Labor Day -- Today is Labor Day... Most Americans have the day off and nobody is supposed to go to work unless you work in retail. If you work in retail you work twice as hard because nobody else is at work and they can't figure out what to do with themselves... so they go shopping. This means that all of the people who work in retail miss out on the great Labor Day deals and have to pay full price on mattresses later.

 

4. The Wildcard Race -- Our Twins are still in it... 1.5 back behind the Rangers for the final wild card spot. The Twins were exactly 1.5 games behind the Rangers when they flew into Texas to take on the Astros. This kind of progress is similar to the progress being made in offices around the country today and the same kind of progress made by the pioneers who abandoned ship in Kansas City. Dear Twins... Get back on the wagon... Show some Pioneer Spirit... Forge ahead to new lands. If you don't, this how you get stuck in Kansas City for generations to come.

 

5. Cars -- If you take a look around, there are a lot of cars. As a matter of fact, if you placed all cars end to end, it would be Labor Day Weekend.

 

--------------------

Game-time forecast: Currently it's misting in KC, with possible thunder showers this afternoon, but by evening, breaking to partly cloudy with only a 15% chance of precipitation. Temp at 83 deg F (but will feel like 90 due to humidity). Winds from the S at 9mph.

 

Lineups:

 

TWINS

Hicks CF

Dozier 2B

Mauer 1B

Sano DH

Plouffe 3B

Rosario LF

Hunter RF

Suzuki C

Escobar SS

 

Milone P

 

ROYALS

Zobrist 2B

Cain CF

Hosmer 1B

Morales DH

Gomes RF

Moustakas 3B

Perez C

Orlando LF

Escobar SS

 

Ventura P

 

Go Twins! Let's get turnt! Yaaaaassssss!!!

 

Click here to view the article

[sampleSizeOfOne]

.... and the supplies were already running low after it was discovered that Uncle Bob had eaten all of the Doritos. ...

Those were good Doritos...

[Squirrel]

 

 

1. Kansas City -- Driven by Manifest Destiny and the lack of decent internet service, one billion pioneers congregated at St. Louis to travel the trails westward. It was a 6-month journey on a wagon pulled by horses and the horses were not very happy about it. They loaded up the wagon with supplies and plunged forward with dreams of starting a new life in California and spending warm nights on the beach listening to Mötley Crüe. After crossing the state of Missouri... the enormity of the task started to become apparent. The women and children started complaining that it was too hot. They were tired of looking at and smelling the back end of the horses and the supplies were already running low after it was discovered that Uncle Bob had eaten all of the Doritos. The complaints from the wagon became louder and louder, and, after the numerous threats to turn around the car and go back home didn't work... some of the pioneers just quit. These are the people who settled Kansas City. The name Kansas City was chosen... Kansas is Spanish for "I refuse to go any further"... City is French for city.

 

You wrote that as if from your own experience ...

 

Were you one of the young 'uns in back while Chief was driving?

[DaveW]

Need a sweep. 2 out of 3 at worst.

[Ultima Ratio]

That is the most authoritative and circumspect history of KC I have ever read.  I assume this will be in next month's Smithsonian, am I correct?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Series is sweep-able and we need it.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

That is the most authoritative and circumspect history of KC I have ever read.  I assume this will be in next month's Smithsonian, am I correct?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Series is sweep-able and we need it.

Awww. You mean i'll have to go to Washington the next time i read it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, but remember to sweep one bristle at a time. (This calls for a quote from Beppo Roadsweeper... I'll have to look it up.)

[AlwaysinModeration]

Excellent game thread intro, that will definitely get'er done, Brian. By the way, no need to fact check it, it is all accurate information.

 

I think Sano needs to go yard tonight. By the way, can I be the first one to coin the catchphrase for the 2016 Twins:

 

May and J.O....and pray for Sano?

[Craig Arko]

Ventura will be another tough challenge. If you get a lead gotta hold it this time.

[ScrapTheNickname]

For the Twins to take their manifest destiny in their own hands I think they need to win 86 games, which means they need to play .615 baseball from here on out. Can they do it? Of course they can do it. Will do they do it? I don't know. That's why I'm tuning in, and paying attention to these wonderful baseball discussions at TD!

[Hrbowski]

 

and paying attention to these wonderful baseball discussions at TD!

They are wonderful, but they don't always involve baseball.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

They are wonderful, but they don't always involve baseball.

You mean they involve bats and gloves too?

 

Or maybe they involve the Twins?

[Craig Arko]

Sometimes they also involve hyperextended imaginations.

[Hrbowski]

 

You mean they involve bats and gloves too?

Or maybe they involve the Twins?

I said baseball, not baseballs.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

 

I said baseball, not baseballs.

 

So you did...

 

Sorry.

[Riverbrian]

 

They are wonderful, but they don't always involve baseball.

 

Baseball is kinda narrow. Baseball... Space... Birds and Hamburger Helper is much wider. 

[Blake]

Even if the Twins don't make the playoffs they still made the playoffs.

 

The year has been a success.

 

I would like an official post-season appearance but this unofficial run has been fun if somewhat nerve wracking.

 

 

[blairpaul715]

Ya BABY!!!!

 

[Bark's Lounge]

 

1. Kansas City -- Driven by Manifest Destiny and the lack of decent internet service, one billion pioneers congregated at St. Louis to travel the trails westward. It was a 6-month journey on a wagon pulled by horses and the horses were not very happy about it. They loaded up the wagon with supplies and plunged forward with dreams of starting a new life in California and spending warm nights on the beach listening to Mötley Crüe.

 

 

You wrote that as if from your own experience ...

 

Were you one of the young 'uns in back while Chief was driving?

My artistic interpretation.

 

[Riverbrian]

Good Start MR. HICKS!!!!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Hicks starts us of right.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

 

 

Good Start MR. HICKS!!!!

 

I mean...

 

Concur.

[Squirrel]

 

 

 

My artistic interpretation.

Wagon Train.jpg

 

Where's Uncle Bob and the Doritos?

[Riverbrian]

 

 

 

My artistic interpretation.

Wagon Train.jpg

 

 

Take the two lead bulls out and replace them with Joe Mauer and Glen Perkins. 

 

And Yes we need Doritos. 

[Squirrel]

Damn it ... was chasing down spammers forgot to get the TV on in time and missed Hicks.

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Where's Uncle Bob and the Doritos?

Uncle Bob is hog-tied in the back of the front wagon, next to Chief, who is taking a nap. The Doritos are in Uncle Bob's belly.

 

(this is my lazy response as I forgot to add them)

[Squirrel]

 

Uncle Bob is hog-tied in the back of the front wagon, next to Chief, who is taking a nap. The Doritos are in Uncle Bob's belly.

 

(this is my lazy response as I forgot to add them)

You could just put a TRex walking alongside and call that Chief.

[Riverbrian]

 

Damn it ... was chasing down spammers forgot to get the TV on in time and missed Hicks.

 

He hit it... right about where I was sitting when I was at Kaufman. 

 

I don't know if that helps.

 

Kinda like... Take a left where the school house used to be. 

[Squirrel]

 

He hit right about where I was sitting when I was at Kaufman. 

 

I don't know if that helps.

 

Kinda like... Take a left where the school house used to be. 

Yes, that was very helpful.

 

Bye, Felicia.

[Riverbrian]

 

Yes, that was very helpful.

 

Bye, Felicia.

 

Ouch

[Squirrel]

 

Ouch

swerve

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lol