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Game Thread: Twins vs Mariners, 8/2/15, 1:10 PM CDT

sampleSizeOfOne

By sampleSizeOfOne
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sampleSizeOfOne MVP

sampleSizeOfOne

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Posted
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-excerpts from a strange poetry collection-

(my apologies i could not remember it all)

It is the Seattle Mariners
Who have taken one of three.
'By thy encompassed hat, and enlarged glove
Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?

Our leadoff man who should not fan
now stops to scratch his neck,
pulls up his socks in batters box
and i am now on deck.'

---

A curve ball hung is quickly stung
now deftly splits the air
it's flight doth cross an albatross
but now it's not so fair.

(editor's note: what joke?)

---

Batters, batters everywhere
Not one that pitcher faces
Batters, batters everywhere
can last to run the bases.

(editor's note: yeah, Iwakuma apparently has been pretty effective 'gainst the Twins...)

---

That albatross, never flapping, still is napping, still is napping
on that stiller bat of killer just abreast of target field.
and so despite the children's teasin' there's simply no appeasin'
but the remainder of this season we all know we won't yield.
and the fate of this, our ballclub who have no plans to yield
is, as of now... unrevealed.

---

Some say the game will end in mirth.
some say an out.
not that i can judge the worth,
but favor mirth with all my girth.

Yet if my team is not about
it follows then it's on the road
i would consider another mode
which also leaves no doubt.

---

It's Mauer, Mauer, Mauer!
Now is not the time for you to cower.
Though i've mocked you and i've cheered you
By all the hairs which beard you,
You've a better bat than i do, Joseph Mauer.

...

Come on out, fellas, the weather is fine!

Oh, yeah, line ups:

Mariners

0. Hisashi Iwakuma {R} P
1. Ketel Marte {S} 2B
2. Kyle Seager {L} 3B
3. Nelson Cruz {R} RF
4. Robinson Cano {L} DH
5. Seth Smith {L} LF
6. Austin Jackson {R} CF
7. Mark Trumbo {R} 1B
8. Brad Miller {L} SS
9. Jesus Sucre {R} C

Twins

0. Mike Pelfrey {R} P
1. Brian Dozier {R} 2B
2. Aaron Hicks {S} CF
3. Joe Mauer {L} 1B
4. Miguel Sano {R} DH
5. Trevor Plouffe {R} 3B
6. Eddie Rosario {L} RF
7. Shane Robinson {R} LF
8. Kurt Suzuki {R} C
9. Eduardo Escobar {S} SS

Hah, 4. Cano rhymes with Sano. Coincidence? Well, yes, it does seem to coincide...

Enjoy!

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Craig Arko Minnesota Twins

Craig Arko

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

IT is an ancient Mariner,

And he stoppeth one of three.

'By thy long beard and glittering eye,

Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?

 

The Bridegroom's doors are opened wide,

And I am next of kin;

The guests are met, the feast is set:

May'st hear the merry din.'

 

He holds him with his skinny hand,

'There was a ship,' quoth he.

'Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!'

Eftsoons his hand dropt he.

 

Eftsoons an RBI or three, yon Joe, yon Miguel.

SwainZag Cedar Rapids Kernels

SwainZag

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted

 

Great play by Escobar! Some say he has zero range...if that were true, there would be a runner on first right now.

 

He made some very nice plays last night as well

sampleSizeOfOne MVP

sampleSizeOfOne

Verified Member
Posted
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Posted

IT is an ancient Mariner,

And he stoppeth one of three.

'By thy long beard and glittering eye,

Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?

 

The Bridegroom's doors are opened wide,

And I am next of kin;

The guests are met, the feast is set:

May'st hear the merry din.'

 

He holds him with his skinny hand,

'There was a ship,' quoth he.

'Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!'

Eftsoons his hand dropt he.

 

Eftsoons an RBI or three, yon Joe, yon Miguel.

Eftsoons... That means this inning w/ Escobar on 2nd (as expected).

 

I hope?

 

Thanks!

 

Yeah, that was the inspiration of the parody. Didn't quite work out (though i knew i weren't gonna try to do the whole thing...) did it.

Craig Arko Minnesota Twins

Craig Arko

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

Eftsoons... That means this inning w/ Escobar on 2nd (as expected).I hope?Thanks!Yeah, that was the inspiration of the parody. Didn't quite work out (though i knew i weren't gonna try to do the whole thing...) did it.

You done good. :)

USAFChief GOAT

USAFChief

Twins Daily Contributor
Posted
Posted

Hey everyone!  I missed last night's game...how bad'd we lose?

 

I got some sad news Friday.  My granddaughter got suspended from school.

 

Apparently, the teacher was asking a series of questions:

 

"And what do we get from the chicken?"

 

"Eggs!"

 

"And from the pig?"

 

"Bacon!!"

 

"How about from the cow?"

 

"Homework."

sampleSizeOfOne MVP

sampleSizeOfOne

Verified Member
Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hey everyone!  I missed last night's game...how bad'd we lose?

 

I got some sad news Friday.  My granddaughter got suspended from school.

 

Apparently, the teacher was asking a series of questions:

 

"And what do we get from the chicken?"

 

"Eggs!"

 

"And from the pig?"

 

"Bacon!!"

 

"How about from the cow?"

 

"Homework."

We lost by negative one run.

 

But something weird happened in the standings, and they stuck it in the win column.

Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

I'm not exactly sure how Iwakuma caught that. 

 

I think he just happened to stick his glove there and the ball went into it. 

Craig Arko Minnesota Twins

Craig Arko

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

I'm not exactly sure how Iwakuma caught that. 

 

I think he just happened to stick his glove there and the ball went into it.

 

mudcat14 First Round Pick

mudcat14

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

Thank God we're not facing King Felix this series!  We're already making two guys with 5+ ERA's look like they're wearing his magic underwear.  Let me correct myself.  Their ERA's were above 5 when they came into town, looks like they'll be much lower when they leave.

 

Hit the Effin' ball!

Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

 

Dick, stop getting us excited.  You are the worst at that.

 

I've watched enough baseball that I'm pretty good at knowing what's going to happen by the way the ball leaves the bat. 

 

I was wrong there... I thought it was gone. 

Aggies7 MVP

Aggies7

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

I was going to say how pathetic it is to have a 2 page game thread for a sunday...then I realized that's twice as many pages as the twins have hits.

 

Pretty embarrassing.

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