The_Phantom

Salary caps don't work. NFL has a cap and has horrendous championship parity. A lot of that has to do with salary cap manipulation. Much like the deal Ohtani took being luxury tax manipulation, he would do something similar to play for the dodgers if a cap were in place. He can get money elsewhere from endorsements. It happens all the time. And players taking below market value to get championships that will get them endorsements also won't go to small market teams. They want eyes on them

No, it's not the beginning of the end. That was weeks ago.

This is the closest to funny that any of these "parody" sketches have been. But, if you ever take an acting class one of the first things you learn is that Spoof acting/parody/physical humor is only funny if your character doesn't know they're in a spoof. Once the actor starts knowing theyre in a spoof, it just turns into cringe. But if you are committed and your character is just saying ridiculous things or doing silly stuff that seems totally normal to your character that's what makes it funny. All that to say, this would have been so much funnier without all the "you goobers" and "you weirdos" and "you sickos" and "you freaks". Way, way too heavy handed. It would have been far funnier if it led with the "The source says the team is relishing the challenge to make even more marginal moves, just to see how much coverage they can get." and then all the "quotes" from the team reps played it somewhat seriously, not name calling, name calling, name calling, name calling, name calling, name calling. Subtlety goes a long way, even in parody

Buxton has sold out for the long ball, which is why is hard hit rate is still pretty good. But for a player with his skillset, I don't know that that is actually a positive. He still has elite speed, but he's become a 3-true-outcome type player either because they don't want him on the basepath much, or there's just a lack of understanding that his biggest asset is his speed. Of course with the continual injury concerns he's just become a "well let's get whatever we can out of him and you have to be happy about it" type player.

Pretty solid article. But winning in 87 and 91 is winning twice in five seasons, not four

He was underwhelmingly average for most of that contract and pretty much all of those years were dark years for the Twins - losing nearly 100 games. He seems to be a nice guy, but it's hard to make an argument that the extension really helped the team

Yeahhhhhhh that's not what happened at all. You became the resident bully and literally made a slew of people leave that site, because if they didn't also bash Mauer you personally attacked them. And any time your "Joe Mauer is a problem" thread went further than halfway down the front page, you bumped it to make sure the confrontational thread stayed at the top of the page.

Hm, I have actually been contemplating taking my kids up to see one of the games in Philly this weekend

... that it's not appropriate or very funny when the opinions you're satirizing are blatantly correct? FTFY I fully understand it's supposed to be satire. But it's satirizing the wrong side. EDIT - Maybe I've been on Twins Reddit too much, but most of Twins nation will die on the hill that Twins can do-no-wrong. IMO that's what is satire worthy, not being able to actually acknowledge that they flubbed the trade...

I know everyone has been saying it, but it's time to stop pretending like Buxton batting third at DH is the solution. He's just swinging hard and praying for a miracle. He's 15 for his last 112 with only 12 walks. And that includes a stretch where he went 5 for 9 with 3 homers and a double. When he doesn't go on an accidental hot streak, he's an absolute disaster. Hell, he's been a disaster with that mini hot streak included.

You forgot to mention: Twins rank: 24th in average 23rd in OBP 30th in strikeouts (on pace to obliterate the MLB record) 21st in runs scored 20th in OPS And they don't have ONE SINGLE OFFENSIVE PLAYER in the top 100 position player WAR in the league. But sure, let's make a "funny" article about how Twins didn't lose the Arraez trade in every single facet, because hey Pablo threw a complete game this week!

This is far and away the least invested I've ever been since being a fan. I live a couple hours from Baltimore and I go to the Twins games in Baltimore every single year (unless they're in April - work conflict). This year it didn't even cross my mind to go. Even with it being on a weekend and a weekend that I have nothing else going on - and I'm not working Monday. I checked out mostly in the off-season when I disagreed with pretty much every move they made. It's gonna take a pretty solid shakeup for me to get back into this team the way I used to be.

In my friend group chat I was calling over and over for the twins to sign Kiermaier because the writing was on the wall they needed a top shelf defensive center fielder. instead of opening up the wallet they traded a high prospect reliever for a far lesser hitter in MAT. this front office makes blunder after blunder

It’s amazing how many people slaughtered me (especially on Reddit) for saying it’s crazy to trade Urshela for peanuts with the justification that Miranda is ready to go. You can never assume a second year is going to replicate a decent first year, and his defense was always bad

Not sure where you’re getting that number from, Gray’s OPS against went down the 3rd time through the order last year