Twins Front Office Looking to Sign Even More Obscure Player to Get You Goofballs All Riled Up

The worst: we the fans read it all. Twice

“Dance, piggies, dance. Here’s your slop! Eat! Eat!”. Hahaha!

This is the closest to funny that any of these "parody" sketches have been. But, if you ever take an acting class one of the first things you learn is that Spoof acting/parody/physical humor is only funny if your character doesn't know they're in a spoof. Once the actor starts knowing theyre in a spoof, it just turns into cringe. But if you are committed and your character is just saying ridiculous things or doing silly stuff that seems totally normal to your character that's what makes it funny. 

All that to say, this would have been so much funnier without all the "you goobers" and "you weirdos" and "you sickos" and "you freaks". Way, way too heavy handed. It would have been far funnier if it led with the "The source says the team is relishing the challenge to make even more marginal moves, just to see how much coverage they can get." and then all the "quotes" from the team reps played it somewhat seriously, not name calling, name calling, name calling, name calling, name calling, name calling. Subtlety goes a long way, even in parody

They have a totally separate personnel department that only looks for obscure players. They get bonuses if they find one that's injured and won't be available until mid way into the upcoming season. 

Gabe has done so much with so little. 

Max Kranick has been DFA'd today by Pit. I would like to see the Twins pickup Max. That way we would be loaded to the Max and if and when we traded Max we would still have  Max.

Just wondering, do the Twins pay this "Stu guy" to write all this stupid stuff?  I mean, to maybe deflect from the low rent district of front office dealings?  Or maybe to deflect from the lack of dealings of meaningful consequence.  Humor is often used to deflect from a more serious subject that is being ignored.  But, I usually like my humor to be funny.  Take my wife!!!!!!!