Walker Jenkins 'Refuses' to Leave St. Paul, Entranced by City's Bustle and Beauty

RandBalls Stu · Friday at 12:07 PM

Image courtesy of WMAV/Meta

With speculation about prized Twins prospect Walker Jenkins at a fever pitch, many are wondering what, exactly, was the hold up in his promotion to the big leagues. We're finally getting some answers.

"Walker loves the bright lights of St. Paul and simply doesn't want to leave," said Scott Boras, Jenkins's agent. "The First National Bank sign, the Wabasha Street Caves, miles and miles of biking and walking trails... simply put, St. Paul has it all. Why would Walker want to leave? Why would anyone?"

With Byron Buxton's continued health problems and the playoffs looking increasingly out of reach, many are perplexed why a player with Jenkins's offensive upside was still down on the farm, with increasingly harsh invective directed at the team's front office. It turns out to be a bit more complex than that.

"We've tried to get ahold of anyone in the Saints clubhouse to say, 'Hey, we might be in need of a player shortly'," said a Twins front office source. "We just get a voicemail saying they're out enjoying a show at the Ordway, the restaurants of Cathedral Hill, or watching the sunset on Harriet Island.

"We've even texted Jenkins, and he'll just respond with a selfie from Mancini's. He's got a bowl of garlic bread in front of him. I've never seen anyone so happy and living in the moment. I guess that's just what happens when you spend your days in that great American city, St. Paul, Minnesota.'"

Rather than a call, Jenkins got the call Thursday. He's due in Minneapolis Friday afternoon. No word yet on whether he's willing to make the move.

"The last time I spoke with Walker, he was at the Como Zoo," said Boras. "He said he was as one with the animal kingdom, celebrating the wonders of nature in a uniquely beautiful urban setting. He was hoping to hop on a tour of the James J. Hill House before batting practice so he could learn ever more about the colorful history of St. Paul, Minnesota's capital city."

Although it seems unlikely, the Twins could force Jenkins's hand by driving to St. Paul and bringing him back across the river. The front office source says that presents its own set of problems.

"Obviously, Walker is under contract and has to observe our decisions. The problem is that whenever we send an employee or intern there, they never come back—so overwhelmed are they by the beauty and vivacity of St. Paul that they refuse to leave. We're running a skeleton crew here, honestly."

That's been true in the outfield, too. The challenge of the day is finding someone who can be sent to extradite Jenkins, and who will actually return from the mission.

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