Local Uncle Transitions Seamlessly from Twins Loathing to Vikings Despair

[RandBalls Stu]

"I know the Twins are scuffling right now, but it’s time for me to let Sam Darnold ruin my life."

Image courtesy of Unsplash/Ernst Gunther Krause

The fall is supposed to be a grand time for sports fans, as baseball’s pennant races heat up, football kicks off, the MLS and WNBA determine their champions, and the NHL and NBA start ramping up.

For Brady Becker, that’s easier said than done.

“I am absolutely losing my mind about the Twins right now, but there’s a Vikings game on Sunday,” said Becker. “I can’t be in two places at once. Decisions need to be made. I need to let Ed Ingram make my life completely miserable.”

The local uncle let friends and family know in a Facebook post on Thursday that he would be turning his attention to agonizing about the Minnesota Vikings full-time with Sunday’s season opener versus the New York Giants.

“The Twins are wracked by injuries and inconsistent play, and it’s ruining my life, my performance at work, and relationships with the people I love most,” said the 45-year-old Dakota County employee. “The innumerable flaws of the Vikings, from a shaky interior line all the way to the punter, need that attention.”

The Castle Rock Township native says he’ll use Friday and Saturday to ratchet down his baseball angst for the “seething self-hatred” of being a professional football fan in Minnesota.

“The Twins are the bane of my existence right now, but as sure as the days get shorter and nights get longer, the autumn wind demands that I focus all my agitation and misery on NFL Sundays.”

Becker says he’s already taped and mudded some fresh drywall in his unattached garage that is “just right for punching, kicking, and headbutting if the situation demands it.”

With the Twins still in excellent shape for a playoff spot despite the last two weeks, Becker is confident he’s making the decision at the right time.

“The fact is, they (the Twins) played some really good baseball this summer. Even as the errors and 8-run innings crush my spirit, a small part of me knows that they’re in line for a Wild Card berth. My all-consuming rage needs a singular focus.

“I know the Twins are scuffling right now, but it’s time for me to let Sam Darnold ruin my life.”

Image license here.

View full article

[DJL44]

Sports are a lot more fun when you don't care quite as much who wins.

[BH67]

A reality as evergreen as pumpkin spice latte arriving at Starbucks. Autumn is here.

Scowl!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

7 hours ago, DJL44 said:

Sports are a lot more fun when you don't care quite as much who wins.

Sounds like a Lawrence of Arabia quote:

 

The trick is not minding that it hurts.

[Johnny Ringo]

I identify strongly with the Twins and Vikings as I muddle along in mediocrity. The only difference is I can't charge people $15 for a beer to watch it.

[Mike Sixel]

So very well written 

[TheLeviathan]

This guy probably blames Rocco for the Vikings too.

[Mike Sixel]

12 minutes ago, TheLeviathan said:

This guy probably blames Rocco for the Vikings too.

Did you see a gold medal winning soccer player tore his meniscus throwing out the first pitch recently? That's on Rocco for playing him out of position..