Game Thread: Twins @ Angels, 5/12/2018 @ 8:07 PM CDT

[Teflon]

 

A pleasant Saturday and a happy fishing opener weekend to you all. Great lots of you have undoubtedly decamped to one or more of Minnesota’s many lakes* to drop a line, float a bobber, relax and forget all about Mother’s Day in some of the most idyllic surroundings this side of western Wisconsin. For many of you, the carefree time on the lake is also accompanied by your favorite MLB team broadcast. Ah, fishing and listening to baseball. Could life get any better?

 

Why, yes, it could. I could be writing the intro to tonight's Game Thread! And I could have a fish story to tell!

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Not so long ago on a peaceful lake not far from here, I was out in my small boat, the Omarosa, casually watching my fishing line and listening to the Twins game through an ear piece. I typically use an ear piece on the lake 1) so as not to disturb the fish, and 2) because sound carries widely over the water and I did not have permission to disseminate or rebroadcast the accounts and descriptions. (I learned that lesson the hard way)

 

Anyway, I had been on the lake for about 45 minutes when I heard what sounded like something out of Mad Max: Fury Road coming around the small cove towards my little fishing spot. It was a lime green runabout full of teenagers blaring the soundtrack for the apocalypse over its stereo. As it neared, I strained to make it's name through the cloud of reefer haze emanating from the boat, The Anemone. (uh-nem-uh-nee) And it was launching depth charges! No, make that beer cans. The young hooligans were tossing empties over the side! 

 

I pulled in my line, lifted my anchor and trolled the Omarosa up next to the Anemone.

“Pardon me. Young man?” I asked politely. { Belches from the teens. Giggles. More belches.} Finally one of them responded as if annoyed. “What, dude?”

 

“Can you turn that racket down?” I asked. I was going to explain how it disturbed the fishing but didn’t get a chance as the young ne'er do well said “Racket? You mean this?” and turned the volume up to 11. Meanwhile, one of the other wayward youths decided to answer nature's call over the side of the boat directly into the lake. My eyes tightened to a Clint Eastwood squint. Then I noticed another boat motoring towards us. Good, I thought. Maybe they’ll join my protest too, and we’ll have strength in numbers. After all, the enemy of the Anemone is my friend.

 

No such luck. The boat just slowed, took a look, shook their heads, and kept on going. Great.

 

“Knock it off! I mean it” I yelled at the occupants of the Anemone. As I approached the boat's stern, I admit I had little faith in my stern approach. The response I received was a collection of obscene gestures and loud derision. My anger rose unchecked and, at that moment, something inside me snapped.

 

In a scene reminiscent of the confrontation between the Civil War ironclads, Monitor and Merrimack, I grabbed the Omarosa’s anchor and heaved it in a great parabola towards the Anemone. (I have freakish mid-section strength from a lifetime of kegels) We all watched as the anchor reached and then fell from its apex and plummeted into the Anemone with something akin to the force of the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs - leaving a gaping void in the flimsy hull the size of – well, a small boat anchor. The corrupted vessel quickly began taking on water as its motley crew flailed about in confusion. Eventually the boat succumbed and went under, leaving a number of cans bobbing in the water and the drenched occupants abandoning ship to dog paddle and slog the forty or so feet to the shore tugging at their droopy togs and flinging epithets my way.

 

I pulled the cord on the Omarosa’s motor and made a beeline for the other side of the lake, still in disbelief at what I'd done. Alas, there’s no happy ending to this story. The wreck of the Anemone survivors called the police, who were waiting for me when I made shore.

 

Epilog

 

Ultimately, I had to pay for the ruined boat and perform community service. Worst of all, I had to attend court-ordered anchor management counselling.

 

 

* It would be awesome if someone would make a nice round estimate of just how many lakes there are in Minnesota so we could boast about it in some way when we go out of state.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Tonight's Game, 8:07 CDT

 

Minnesota (16-18) at Los Angeles Angels (23-15)

Angel Stadium of Anaheim. Mostly sunny, 65 degrees, wind 5 mph blowing out

 

Kyle Gibson - RHP (1-1, 3.49) for the Twins vs. Nick Tropeano - RHP (1-2, 3.42) for the Angels

 

The Twins scored 3 runs in the top of the 9th last night to beat the Angels, 5-4, and even the series. Cleveland (18-19) lost to Kansas City, moving the Twins to within a half game of the lead in the AL Central. 

 

 

Twins Lineup

 

1 Joe Mauer (L) 1B

2 Brian Dozier ® 2B

3 Max Kepler (L) RF

4 Eduardo Escobar (S) 3B

5 Eddie Rosario (L) LF

6 Mitch Garver ® C

7 Logan Morrison (L) DH

8 Ehire Adrianza (S) SS

9 Byron Buxton ® CF

 

 

 

Angels Lineup

 

1 Zack Cozart ® 3B

2 Mike Trout ® CF

3 Justin Upton ® LF

4 Albert Pujols ® DH

5 Andrelton Simmons ® SS

6 Luis Valbuena (L) 1B

7 Ian Kinsler ® 2B

8 Kole Calhoun (L) RF

9 Rene Rivera ® C

 

[Squirrel]

That fish story was more like a very lengthy Chief tale.

[USAFChief]

That fish story was more like a very lengthy Chief tale.

Get off my lake!

[USAFChief]

I’m, uh, surprised the charges stuck, Teflon.

 

....

 

Nice job, BTW!

[Teflon]

 

I’m, uh, surprised the charges stuck, Teflon.

 

touché

[Blake]

 

 

 

In a scene reminiscent of the confrontation between the Civil War ironclads, Monitor and Merrimack, I grabbed the Omarosa’s anchor and heaved it in a great parabola towards the Anemone. (I have freakish mid-section strength from a lifetime of kegels) We all watched as the anchor reached and then fell from its apex and plummeted into the Anemone with something akin to the force of the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs - leaving a gaping void in the flimsy hull the size of – well, a small boat anchor. The corrupted vessel quickly began taking on water as its motley crew flailed about in confusion. Eventually the boat succumbed and went under, leaving a number of cans bobbing in the water and the drenched occupants abandoning ship to dog paddle and slog the forty or so feet to the shore tugging at their droopy togs and flinging epithets my way.

 

I pulled the cord on the Omarosa’s motor and made a beeline for the other side of the lake, still in disbelief at what I'd done. Alas, there’s no happy ending to this story. The wreck of the Anemone survivors called the police, who were waiting for me when I made shore.

 

Epilog

 

Ultimately, I had to pay for the ruined boat and perform community service. Worst of all, I had to attend court-ordered anchor management counselling.

 

 

 

 

[Nine of twelve]

Wow, that was a long way to go for that punch line. And worth it.

[Platoon]

I almost expect Gordon Lightfoot to memorialize this confrontation....."allegedly long from the Teflon this song about the good boat they call Omarosa........"

[Teflon]

No chance of the Twins taking over first place tonight. The Indians defeated the Royals 6-2 this afternoon behind 2 home runs and 2 doubles from Francisco Lindor. 

[Brock Beauchamp]

Get a win tonight, guarantee at least a split, and they’re almost back to the next homestand.

[BoofBonser]

I love you Twins 

[Blake]

Hmm, decisions, decisions: Intentionally unintentionally walk Upton and take your chances with Mr. Pujols?

 

Years past, bad idea.

 

Not these days, however.

[Teflon]

Nice crisp 1st inning. The Kyle Gibson no-hitter is still intact.

[Riverbrian]

 

I love you Twins 

 

[Teflon]

2 innings, 2 walks, but the Kyle Gibson no-hitter is still intact.

[DocBauer]

Great intro! But didn't know if I should laugh, applaud you, or feel sorry for your predicament.

 

Applause for the Spinal Tap "11" reference, and a high 5 for the intended/unintended "stern" confrontation reference.

[DocBauer]

That play by Mauer has me asking again, "and he didn't win the Gold Glove why?"

 

Secondly, and more importantly, how good does it feel to actually feel good about Gibson starting the game tonight?

[BoofBonser]

There you go Adrianza! But Nick Gordon would have doubled...

[Riverbrian]

Lazy baseball from Justin Upton. 

[DocBauer]

Nice hit by Adrianza. Look at the handicapped Buxton on 2B standing! Wow! Can't wait until he puts it all together!

[DocBauer]

Good call. Shallow hit.

[BoofBonser]

Don't stop at 3 Twinkies!

[gocgo]

Anchor management counselling....you had me hooked at Omarosa.

[Danchat]

Nice call by Dick, predicting the double by Buxton.

[Brock Beauchamp]

Hey, runs!

 

I like runs.

[gocgo]

Ooh!  Trevor May with a rehab start today.  58 pitches, 3 innings pitched.

[BoofBonser]

The Twins like to follow up innings where they score runs with innings they give up runs 

[TFRazor]

  if only that would've been pujols. Joe could've walked over, brian handed him the ball, and joe walked back for the double play

[DocBauer]

Ooh! Trevor May with a rehab start today. 58 pitches, 3 innings pitched.

It's a long road back, but I still say nobody should fall asleep on May. He's going to help somewhat this season, and more next. Bank on it.

[TFRazor]

Crisis averted