Game Thread Twins@Tigers 5/13 6:08PM

[Hrbowski]

The Twins play the Tigers today, and Ricky Nolasco (2-1, 9.00 ERA) will face Kyle Lobstein (3-2, 3.00 ERA), always33 will have lineups and weather after your "Five Things to Think About.”

 

1. Roommates— Well, one of the things we are going to think about tonight is roommates, but I have a problem, one of my roommates is a sophomore in college who likes to wake me up with songs from Disney movies, and his favorite one is Under the Sea, and here are the lyrics:

 

The seaweed is always green

In somebody else's lake


You dream about going up there


But that is a big mistake


Just look at the world around you


Right here on the ocean floor


Such wonderful things surround you


What more is you lookin' for?

 

Under the sea


Under the sea


Darling it's better


Down where it's wetter


Take it from me


Up on the shore they work all day


Out in the sun they slave away


While we devotin'


Full time to floatin'


Under the sea

 

Down here all the fish is happy


As off through the waves they roll


The fish on the land ain't happy


They sad 'cause they in their bowl


But fish in the bowl is lucky


They in for a worser fate


One day when the boss get hungry
Guess who's gon' be on the plate

 

Under the sea


Under the sea


Nobody beat us


Fry us and eat us


In fricassee


We what the land folks loves to cook


Under the sea we off the hook


We got no troubles


Life is the bubbles


Under the sea


Under the sea


Since life is sweet here


We got the beat here


Naturally


Even the sturgeon an' the ray


They get the urge 'n' start to play


We got the spirit


You got to hear it


Under the sea

 

The newt play the flute


The carp play the harp


The plaice play the bass


And they soundin' sharp


The bass play the brass


The chub play the tub


The fluke is the duke of soul


(Yeah)


The ray he can play


The lings on the strings


The trout rockin' out


The blackfish she sings


The smelt and the sprat


They know where it's at


An' oh that blowfish blow

 

Under the sea


Under the sea


When the sardine


Begin the beguine
It's music to me


What do they got? A lot of sand


We got a hot crustacean band


Each little clam here


Know how to jam here


Under the sea


Each little slug here


Cuttin' a rug here


Under the sea


Each little snail here


Know how to wail here


That's why it's hotter


Under the water


Ya we in luck here


Down in the muck here


Under the sea

 

I don't know if I should be offended over them forgetting the cello, but I think that a cello might be offended if it were made to sound sharp in a "hot crustacean band", and by the way, after that description I'm not surprised that Ariel wanted to leave, and it sure ain't  nice to hear when I get up in the morning, but you know what? That isn't the most obnoxious thing my roommate does, he roots for the Yankees.

 

2. Comparisons-- Speaking of the Yankees, I once had to write a paper comparing two things that most people wouldn't think of comparing, but make them think that they were similar, so I wrote a paper comparing the Soviet Union and the New York Yankees, I don't particularly remember what I said, but I might have made an attempt at saying that Stalin and Steinbrenner sound alike, Gorbachev and Girardi had similar success, Cashman and Putin (Putin was a KGB guy) look alike etc. But if I have to write another paper like that I will write a paper comparing the modern day United States Government and Minnesota Twins, both have people complaining about how lax their defense is, how they have to never stop spending money, and how they should go about trading with other countries/teams. I think that paper might get even more interesting than the other, and who knows? I might even find a way to compare Mike Radcliff and Rand Paul.

 

3. Accents-- Okay, we were just talking about the United States, and I would like to point out to anybody who doesn't know this (I hope you all know this), but different regions of the United States have different accents, and even different areas inside the same state have different accents, but some people like to put broader descriptions out there and just say "Southern accent," or "New England accent", but this is hard to tell what exactly a person means, sort of like how sometimes we couldn't tell what exactly an announcer meant if they all they said was, "The ball was caught in the air" because it could have been caught by any fielder, a fan, or the announcer himself. Well what I am trying to get at here is that there is such a thing as a "Silicon Valley accent," you may not have necessarily heard it before, but if you have had computer problems and call the company who made the computer, called the Twins because you wanted a schedule, or even changed garbage services you most likely have heard it, and what they usually say is, "Your call is on hold, please wait," and then go on with an attempt to brainwash you into thinking they are the best, nicest company ever, but usually have you thinking otherwise by the time they are done. My family once even had a weather radio that talked with a Silicon Valley accent, and even that would convince you to think the opposite of what they were trying to tell you, and I think that might be the Twins front office, the media, chronic liars, and countless other people's problems.

 

4. Garbage-- I think I just mentioned this somewhere, but I was talking about garbage services, and right now I am going to talk about the actual garbage. Have you ever smelled bananas or strawberries that were beginning to rot? That is garbage, and sometimes you actually eat it, but the thing that I ate that tasted the most like garbage was melted swiss cheese toast, and I am going on the record right now to warn anyone who hasn't tried it that it is comparable to 2011-14 Twins pitching, and there I go comparing things again, I guess if I wrote a paper comparing melted swiss cheese toast and Twins pitching I might shock my teacher.

 

5. Twins Daily-- The last game thread I did I talked about "The Origin of Game Threads," but thankfully ChiTown corrected me on Sunday and informed me that there was no big bang, and that Twins Daily and Game Threads had a creator, but she did not announce whether or not she came across any missing links well she was researching them, but my guess is that she did not, because Brock has done a great job keeping Twins Daily up and going, and I would like to thank all the Twins Daily owners and moderators for taking care of such a wonderful website, it has become just about the only website I go on, and that is why my percentage of missing links per page has gone down significantly, why I rarely go on my other social media websites anymore, and why I even forget to check my emails, so when I finally remember to check them I have tons of emails in my inbox, and missed all the rare bird alerts. 

 

[formerly33]

I don't have the lineups yet, but I'm posting this now and I'll add them in later along with the weather - which I'll make a not-so-mental note here to make sure it's Detroit's that I add later, not Minneapolis's.

 

Great job, Bowsk. But I do think that cellists would sound better playing sharp in a "hot crustacean band" than playing flat.

 

Wednesday 5/13, 6:08 PM CT at Comerica Park
TV: FS-N; Radio: Go 96.3, TIBN

 

Weather:

 

6:00: Mostly cloudy with temperatures around 60°. Tonight: Partly cloudy, with a low around 41°. East northeast wind 5 to 9 mph.

 

Sunset: 8:45 PM

 

Line ups:

 

TWINS (18-15):
1. Dozier, 2B
2. Hunter, RF
3. Mauer, 1B
4. Plouffe, 3B
5. Suzuki, C
6. Rosario, LF
7. Escobar, DH
8. Hicks, CF
9. Santana, SS

 

Ricky Nolasco, RHP (2-1, 9.00 ERA)

 

TIGERS (20-13):
1. Gose, CF
2. Kinsler, 2B
3. Cabrera, 1B
4. Martinez, DH
5. J.D. Martinez, RF
6. Cespedes, LF
7. Castellanos, 3B
8. McCann, C
9. Iglesias, SS

 

Kyle Lobstein, LHP (3-2, 3.00 ERA)

[Squirrel]

I don't have the lineups yet, but I'm posting this now and I'll add them in later along with the weather - which I'll make a not-so-mental note here to make sure it's Detroit's that I add later, not Minneapolis's.

 

Great job, Bowsk. But I do think that cellists would sound better playing sharp in a "hot crustacean band" than playing flat.

Well, I once posted the weather for an indoor game in Tampa. I think i said something about the possibility of thunder showers and another poster commented on what a trick that would be for thunder showers to form indoors like that. It was a very 'Duh!' moment.

[twinsnorth49]

See what you've done Ash, Game Thread intro's are now tributes to War and Peace.........thanks alot!

 

 

 

 

Just joking Hrbowski, great job...........................................even if I didn't read it all............................................................I kid, I kid.

[twinsnorth49]

Hmmmm, Nolasco vs the Tigers or Rangers- Caps? Decision likely made for me by the 3rd inning I'm guessing.

[Halsey Hall]

Nolasco pitching on another cool night.  We'd better finally put on our hitting shoes in Detroit. 

[Vanimal46]

The accents bit is spot on Hrbowski. I moved down to Austin, TX last year from Minnesota, expecting to talk to everyone with southern drawl accents. Little did I know there is no such accent in this city. However, the further east you go in Texas, the thicker the accent. They talk like they have molasses pouring out of their mouth. 

 

Even after a year away from god's country of 10,000 lakes, I still get comments all the time that I talk like a northerner.

[Vanimal46]

 

Nolasco pitching on another cool night.  We'd better finally put on our hitting shoes in Detroit. 

It will be a miracle if he makes it through 5 innings tonight.

[DaveW]

Nolasco on the mound tonight, good news for Twins fans is that Perkins is now on 3 days rest, so he should be plenty fresh when he gets a tune up inning in the bottom of the 8th in a 11-2 ball game.

[DaveW]

 

 

Nolasco pitching.  We'd better finally put on our hitting shoes in Detroit. 

Fixed it for you.

[Platoon]

The accents bit is spot on Hrbowski. I moved down to Austin, TX last year from Minnesota, expecting to talk to everyone with southern drawl accents. Little did I know there is no such accent in this city. However, the further east you go in Texas, the thicker the accent. They talk like they have molasses pouring out of their mouth. 

 

Even after a year away from god's country of 10,000 lakes, I still get comments all the time that I talk like a northerner.

They told me I talked funny? I replied, Yah, right! I haff no idea wear de get dat? At least we don't callCream of Wheat "Grits"

[Hrbowski]

 

See what you've done Ash, Game Thread intro's are now tributes to War and Peace.........thanks alot!

 

 

 

 

Just joking Hrbowski, great job...........................................even if I didn't read it all............................................................I kid, I kid.

No, tributes to War and Peace would be posting videos of Jose Valverde pitching.

[JB_Iowa]

 

They told me I talked funny? I replied, Yah, right! I haff no idea wear de get dat? At least we don't callCream of Wheat "Grits"

 

Are there any native Austinites left in Austin or is it finally just a city of transplants???

[Vanimal46]

 

Are there any native Austinites left in Austin or is it finally just a city of transplants???

 

Basically a city of transplants now, mostly people from California that couldn't afford to live there anymore. I think I've met maybe 2 true Austinites in the year I've lived down here.

[Craig Arko]

We all sound like the Swedish Chef up here.

 

[Vanimal46]

 

They told me I talked funny? I replied, Yah, right! I haff no idea wear de get dat? At least we don't callCream of Wheat "Grits"

 

The thing is to I grew up in Mankato, so it's not like I have the thick Bemidji or "Dah-loot" accent. I could only imagine the comments I would get if I had more of a Canadian twang to my accent.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

 

4. Garbage-- I think I just mentioned this somewhere, but I was talking about garbage services, and right now I am going to talk about the actual garbage. Have you ever smelled bananas or strawberries that were beginning to rot? That is garbage, and sometimes you actually eat it, but the thing that I ate that tasted the most like garbage was melted swiss cheese toast, and I am going on the record right now to warn anyone who hasn't tried it that it is comparable to 2011-14 Twins pitching, and there I go comparing things again, I guess if I wrote a paper comparing melted swiss cheese toast and Twins pitching I might shock my teacher.

 

 

 

To be technical, the byproduct of rotting fruit is alcohol, which tends to be consumed when watching the Twins, especially given the way they've played the last few years.  Ergo, you can conclude that watching the Twins leads us to consuming rotting fruit.

[Craig Arko]

To be technical, the byproduct of rotting fruit is alcohol, which tends to be consumed when watching the Twins, especially given the way they've played the last few years.  Ergo, you can conclude that watching the Twins leads us to consuming rotting fruit.

Indeed, the line between rot and fermentation is quite thin.

 

http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/lifestyle/jon-fasman/a-thin-line-between-fermentation-and-rot

 

And now, for some rotten grain and hops fluid.

[Bark's Lounge]

Bad Thomas Magnum, P.I.

 

[Bark's Lounge]

Good Thomas Magnum, P.I.

 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Oh, i figured it out! You can distinguish between good Magnum and bad Magnum by the hat.

[JB_Iowa]

 

Indeed, the line between rot and fermentation is quite thin.

http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/lifestyle/jon-fasman/a-thin-line-between-fermentation-and-rot

And now, for some rotten grain and hops fluid.

 

 

Nothing like these posts as the Dinner hour approaches.

[Riverbrian]

 

The accents bit is spot on Hrbowski. I moved down to Austin, TX last year from Minnesota, expecting to talk to everyone with southern drawl accents. Little did I know there is no such accent in this city. However, the further east you go in Texas, the thicker the accent. They talk like they have molasses pouring out of their mouth. 

 

Even after a year away from god's country of 10,000 lakes, I still get comments all the time that I talk like a northerner.

 

I don't have an accent... Everybody else does!!!

[Riverbrian]

 

Basically a city of transplants now, mostly people from California that couldn't afford to live there anymore. I think I've met maybe 2 true Austinites in the year I've lived down here.

 

I loved Austin when I visited there. It's Blue in the Middle of a bunch of Red... In other words... All the Texans force all the democrats to move there so they can keep them caged in one location. 

[Riverbrian]

 

The thing is to I grew up in Mankato, so it's not like I have the thick Bemidji or "Dah-loot" accent. I could only imagine the comments I would get if I had more of a Canadian twang to my accent.

 

"Canadian Twang" 

 

Love it... It's going to be my new nickname for North. 

[Riverbrian]

 

Indeed, the line between rot and fermentation is quite thin.

http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/lifestyle/jon-fasman/a-thin-line-between-fermentation-and-rot

And now, for some rotten grain and hops fluid.

 

OK... I was hungry... Not so much now

[Riverbrian]

 

Bad Thomas Magnum, P.I.

Bad Magnum PI.jpg

 

OK... Replace his chest hair with a Cheese Sandwich

[Riverbrian]

Alright... Game on

[Hrbowski]

ugh...

[Riverbrian]

Like aggressive baseball but not on Cespedes