Twins Video
Like many other sports fans of a certain age, I’ve become entirely too wrapped up in Immaculate Grid. The game, which gives you nine chances to fill nine boxes with players who share something in common on the horizontal and vertical axes, is a golden opportunity to Remember Some Guys. Remembering Some Guys is second nature to people like me, giving us something to do and keeping us from having to confront real emotions or spend time with family.
It's never more fun than when you can use a Minnesota Twin. That fun is only enhanced when you can name a Twin who only the real sickos, like the ones who use this site every day, remember. (Please understand this is a compliment and I thank you all for your patronage.)
I’ve used these Twins recently, either in team crossover categories or achievement categories (MVP, All-Star, etc.). Feel free to clip and save these for future reference, although considering how many of you are still mad about trading J.J. Hardy for Jim Hoey, I doubt you’ll need it.
20. Bret Boone. Remember when he showed up here, fresh from Seattle, looking like a deflated party balloon?
19. Harmon Killebrew. He played for the Royals in 1975! I had the baseball card! It looked like a practical joke!
18. Dave Engle. An All-Star when the Twins were so talent-bereft that, well, Dave Engle was the All-Star. Also played for the Expos, so you can use him for the Twins/Nationals! Unless you want to use Ben Revere or Denard Span. Live your truth.
17. Tom Brunansky. Don’t use Tom Herr if Twins/Cardinals comes up, use Bruno. [Expletive] Tom Herr.
16. Steve Howe. The late, very troubled reliever had a cup of coffee with the Twins in 1985.
15. Steve Carlton. The Dallas Keuchel of his day! If Dallas Keuchel was also crazy!
14. Joe Niekro. Like Kent Hrbek or Kirby Puckett, he appeared on Letterman but also played for more than one team.
13. Butch Huskey. Any time you can use a guy from miserable twilight of the TK era, you have to. It proves you were there when the only people in the Metrodome were you, the players, and Wally.
12. Danny Ardoin. Like him! He played for four other teams! I don’t even remember him. Baseball Reference better not be lying.
11. J.D. Durbin. The Real Deal!
10. Tony Fiore. The Twins and Rays have a lot of crossovers, but none more pleasing to remember than an honest-to-pete palmballer.
9. Rob Wilfong. Elite mustache. We’re entering the Utility Infielder portion of this list.
8. Jeff Reboulet. If Tom Kelly could choose between his championships or starting a team with nine Jeff Reboulets and going 0-162, he’d choose the latter.
7. Houston Jimenez. What if Joey Gallo still hit .170, but without any power?
6. Nick Punto. You honestly didn’t think I’d leave him off this list, right?
5. Jesse Orosco. The Fernando Rodney of Edwin Jacksons.
4. Jerry Koosman. He’s from Appleton, he’s in the Mets Hall of Fame, and he went to jail. You’ll be tempted to use R.A. Dickey and Tim Teufel, but jail and One of Us matters, dammit.
3. Junior Ortiz. The internet says he played 13 seasons for five clubs, but I know for a fact he was a New Prague hobby farmer who wandered into the Metrodome by accident in 1991, got a job because Brian Harper got on Tom Kelly’s nerves, and won a World Series. Someone tell Wikipedia I feel very strongly about this.
2. Bobby Keppel. He won Game 163! His only major league win! How do you beat that?
1. Jaime Garcia. He only played one game for the Twins, period. That’s how you do it.
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