A Q&A with Tangy the Rally Sausage

[RandBalls Stu]

The cased meat sits down with Twins Daily to talk about its humble beginnings, its rise to fame, and its controversial social media posts.

Image courtesy of Cloverdale Foods Company

One of the few constants in a roller-coaster 2024 Twins seasons is Tangy, a Cloverdale-brand summer sausage that has become a rallying totem for Minnesota. In an occasionally contentious interview, Tangy addressed its beginnings, its place in the locker room, and its rumored relationship with a budding pop star.

Edited for length and clarity.

Twins Daily: Thanks so much for taking time out of your schedule to chat with us.

Tangy: No, thank you. Love the work your site does.

TD: First of all, what makes you Tangy?

Tangy: It’s a proprietary spice blend that’s added to the grind during production. You’re going to get some salt, pepper, garlic powder, etc. But the rest is what sets me apart.

TD: Do I detect fennel?

Tangy: I’ll never tell, wink-wink.

TD: Haha, yes. Anyway, when did you realize you’d gone from a humble sandwich/meat-and-cheese board staple to an integral part of this baseball team?

Tangy: No doubt, it’s when I bonked Carlos Santana in the head. You always worry about how millionaire athletes will handle getting pelted with meats and other foodstuffs. To his credit, Santana was unfazed. He’s a veteran. Said that Larry Bowa once threw an entire pot roast at him because he thought he didn’t hustle out a grounder.

TD: I know this is an uncomfortable subject for you, but your current appearance—

Tangy: I know where this is going, let me have it.

TD: Well, you look a little worse for wear.

Tangy: Dude, I look like hell. No need to sugarcoat it.

TD: But at the same time, you smell…OK? Not like a field of lilacs, but given your current visual state, I’m not running out of the room.

Tangy: I’m shelf-stable! The preservatives (Cloverdale) pumped into me to keep me delicious might as well be from BALCO. I’m indestructible, buddy.

TD: You kind of smell like a gas-station Subway.

Tangy: One of those ones that’s the only thing on the Nebraska interstate for the next 40 miles? And there’s a trucker sleeping in one of the booths?

TD: Exactly.

Tangy: Yeah, I get that.

TD: OK, I need to ask you about some of your social media posts.

Tangy: Oh, here we go. I thought Morse (Twins PR maven Dustin Morse) said we wouldn’t be talking about that.

TD: Given that your most recent Instagram live post said you were unafraid to answer any questions, I can’t imagine anything is off the table.

Tangy: Typical “gotcha” journalism. Sad, really, I expect better from Twins Daily than for you to try to cancel me.

TD: Well, if you’re going to say, as you did last week, that, and I quote, “Bologna is just summer sausage that was homeschooled by an idiot,” people are going to react.

Tangy: There’s not one word of that that isn’t true.

TD: People like bologna!

Tangy: They also liked The Macarena. Trends don’t last. Summer sausage does.

TD: You characterize bologna as trendy?

Tangy: Brother, go to one of those Fancy Dan restaurants that call their sandwiches “handhelds” or some crap. They’ll have an $18 artisan bologna sandwich with house-made gouda. Good luck finding an honest, working man’s protein like summer sausage on the menu.

TD: Fair enough. Before I let you go, would you care to address the rumors connecting you to pop star Sabrina Carpenter?

Tangy: We’re just good friends.

TD: When you were pictured together backstage at Saturday Night Live on their season finale, it got people talking.

Tangy: Lorne (Michaels, longtime SNL producer) invited me. Big fan of the show, big fan of Sabrina. You’re not going to get me to say anything else. It’s both irrelevant and frankly no one else’s business.

TD: Thank you for your time.

Tangy: This is why no one trusts the media. Just creating something out of nothing. Sick of this. Morse is going to hear about this.

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[Schmoeman5]

5:15 and this is what comes across. Priceless. 😄 

[CRF]

I prefer to call it "The Winner-Schnitzel"! 

[Johnny Ringo]

“Bologna is just summer sausage that was homeschooled by an idiot.” This glorious sentence can be applied to so many situations in today's world. 

Ps. Am I the only one that thinks that the subtext of this dugout sausage obsession is getting a little uncomfortable?

[LambchoP]

I can't believe they've kept the same sausage this whole time. Hey whatever gets us wins:)

[Dave The Dastardly]

Popatrz na to. chciałbym zaoferować ją jakaś poważna koszerna kiełbasa

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Does Tangy prefer mustard or relish?