The Table Setter, Feb. 13, 2024: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Twins Fan's Mind

[Cody Schoenmann]

Join the discussion on today's introspective Table Setter.

Image courtesy of © D. Ross Cameron-USA TODAY Sports

(Warning: Minor Film Spoilers)

Last August, I watched Charlotte Wells's film Aftersun for the first time. For those unaware, Aftersun (in the simplest sense) is a 2022 coming-of-age drama film about a father (played by the wonderful Paul Mescal) and his (played by the marvelous Frankie Corio) on holiday in Turkey in the late '90s. Mescal's character lives a significant distance away from his daughter, and the vacation is one of the few times they will see each other all year. I won't spoil the plot any further, but no film has ever explored memory, depression, and the relationship between a parent and their child the way Aftersun has, making it the most gut-wrenching film I've seen. This particular out-of-context scene still tears me apart:

Before Aftersun, the film that previously held the title of "the saddest film Cody's ever seen" was Charlie Kaufman and Michael Gondry's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The film follows Clementine (Kate Winslet) as she undergoes a procedure to erase memories of her ex-boyfriend Joel (Jim Carrey) from her mind. Joel finds out Clementine underwent the procedure and decides to undergo it himself, in an act of spite and anger. The film then slowly dissolves into a tale of (once again) memories, love, and yearning for what was and what could have been. This other particular out-of-context scene tore me apart:

For some reason, movies that explore memory through an artistic lens strike a deep chord with me. I would say it's a quarter-life crisis, but I've always been like this. I can't pinpoint it, but I think it's because I can't process the constant change around me, so I hold on to what was. But even those memories become fragmented as I slowly drift away from the moment that actually was. It's hard to confront these realities, but films like Aftersun and Eternal Sunshine make me face them head-on, which I think is healthy. 

What isn't healthy is that I've closely followed the Twins since 2017, the season Ervin Santana pitched like an ace, and they got blown out in a Wild Card Game at Yankee Stadium. Since then, I have experienced much heartbreak, but no singular moment in Twins history has affected me as profoundly as what occurred in the 10th inning of a game against the Athletics in Oakland, California, on April 21, 2021. The moment makes me so upset I can't talk about it, so here's a video:

Often, people uncover old wounds in the name of expurgating repressed negative emotions, but there is a specific reason why I am mentioning this game. Hypothetically, if I could undergo the same procedure Clementine and Joel underwent in Eternal Sunshine to erase one Twins-centric memory from my mind, it would be this game and, more specifically, this moment. 

I hadn't been this angry about a sporting event since Nick Foles and the Philadelphia Eagles picked apart the Vikings in the 2017 NFC Championship Game. I don't know what it was, but watching Luis Arráez soar the ball over Willians Astudillo's head brought all of the repressed anger, fear, and anxiety from the pandemic (that was still going on, mind you) to a head, causing me to have a meltdown. Weirdly, my response was to drive to the nearest Wendy's and order a Baconator with fries, a Sprite, and ketchup packets. [Ed. note: This doesn't seem all that weird to me; it's called self-destruction, and it's the American way.] I ate the Baconator silently while trying to calm myself down as I sat in a mostly deserted parking lot in Onalaska, Wisconsin. I thought solitude would come in the form of a Wendy's Baconator, which is weird because it's like my third- or fourth-favorite fast food burger.

People often say time heals all wounds, but it doesn't. It can work as a Band-Aid, yes, but it doesn't heal. Sadly, we don't have the privilege of undergoing surgery that rescues us from our most stinging wounds, particularly those caused by the Twins. The closest thing we have in benevolent capitalist withholding of the unkillable blackouts, saving some of us from experiencing those nightmares in the first place.

If we could perform those deletions, though, would you? If so, which Twins-centric memory would you have removed from your memory bank? Join the discussion and comment below. 

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[MMMordabito]

Good writing, Cody.  I like the changeup.  I'm ready for the end of potential free agent fit articles and the like for this offseason.

That Twins moment is also one of the worst for me in recent memory.

However, Joe Ryan @ San Diego in 2022 and @ Atlanta in 2023 are right up there with it.  Ryan is one of my favorites, and those two games were miserable. His slight (and sometimes exaggerated) pause at the end of his delivery only made it worse.

Aftersun is one of the A24 movies that I still haven't seen, so I'll have to add that to the list.  I watched the Killing of a Sacred Deer last night, so I'll probably need a few days before I go back down that always interesting rabbit hole.

[Rod Carews Birthday]

I’m not sure if this exercise is actually healthy or not, but for me there are probably three dates, each for different reasons.  The first is back in February, 1979 when the Twins traded Rod Carew to the Angels.  It confirmed pretty much every bad thing we, as fans, thought about the Calvin Griffith ownership period and Carew as a player was of course sorely missed.  The second is the day that Kirby Puckett announced his retirement due to his medical condition.  It certainly felt like his career was being chopped off before its time, even though he would wind up in the HOF.  The third is July 7, 2010, which is the day that Justin Morneau sustained a concussion sliding into second base.  It took him from seemingly the top of the baseball world to a much more mundane path.  Every time I think about this I think about what might have been had the injury not occurred.  The baseball world is littered with many similar stories, but these are the ones that strike a chord with me.  

Fortunately, none of these memories are as strong as the positive moments in my baseball fan-hood.  Some amazing plays in the field, tremendous pitching performances, or great clutch hits are always front of mind, to say nothing of the  WS titles in 1987 and 1991.  Experiencing the sad and frustrating moments makes me appreciate the high points much more, easily eclipsing the down side of baseball.  

[Rod Carews Birthday]

10 minutes ago, MMMordabito said:

 

However, Joe Ryan @ San Diego in 2022 and @ Atlanta in 2023 are right up there with it.  Ryan is one of my favorites, and those two games were miserable. His slight (and sometimes exaggerated) pause at the end of his delivery only made it worse.

Joe Ryan is one of my favorites as well and I feel your pain.  I’m just hoping that it was a momentary blip and not something that becomes a long term problem.  I am probably in the minority on this, but I really believe in Joe Ryan.  Aside from being a fine pitcher, I think he has some intangible qualities that will serve him well as an MLB pitcher.  

[DJL44]

I vote for November, 6 2001.

[Brett]

There’s a lot to unpack here.

First off, as a certified old fart, I understand and appreciate your quarter life crisis. Mine didn’t come until the age of 31, then a couple since. They have their own schedule. I’m happy that your appetite for self-harm seems to be limited to an occasional Baconator.

Next is the correct usage of “expurgating”, which even auto correct doesn’t know what to do with.

Finally, the answer to your question is anytime the Damn Yankees beat us in the playoffs. I hate those guys.

[Cody Schoenmann]

3 hours ago, MMMordabito said:

Good writing, Cody.  I like the changeup.  I'm ready for the end of potential free agent fit articles and the like for this offseason.

That Twins moment is also one of the worst for me in recent memory.

However, Joe Ryan @ San Diego in 2022 and @ Atlanta in 2023 are right up there with it.  Ryan is one of my favorites, and those two games were miserable. His slight (and sometimes exaggerated) pause at the end of his delivery only made it worse.

Aftersun is one of the A24 movies that I still haven't seen, so I'll have to add that to the list.  I watched the Killing of a Sacred Deer last night, so I'll probably need a few days before I go back down that always interesting rabbit hole.

I can’t recommend Aftersun enough. It’s atop my favorite A24 films alongside Midsommar, Beau is Afraid, and The Lighthouse.

[Doctor Gast]

20 hours ago, Rod Carews Birthday said:

I’m not sure if this exercise is actually healthy or not, but for me there are probably three dates, each for different reasons.  The first is back in February, 1979 when the Twins traded Rod Carew to the Angels.  It confirmed pretty much every bad thing we, as fans, thought about the Calvin Griffith ownership period and Carew as a player was of course sorely missed.  The second is the day that Kirby Puckett announced his retirement due to his medical condition.  It certainly felt like his career was being chopped off before its time, even though he would wind up in the HOF.  The third is July 7, 2010, which is the day that Justin Morneau sustained a concussion sliding into second base.  It took him from seemingly the top of the baseball world to a much more mundane path.  Every time I think about this I think about what might have been had the injury not occurred.  The baseball world is littered with many similar stories, but these are the ones that strike a chord with me.  

Fortunately, none of these memories are as strong as the positive moments in my baseball fan-hood.  Some amazing plays in the field, tremendous pitching performances, or great clutch hits are always front of mind, to say nothing of the  WS titles in 1987 and 1991.  Experiencing the sad and frustrating moments makes me appreciate the high points much more, easily eclipsing the down side of baseball.  

My bad memories of players like Rod are tragic injuries of players not performances. One other bad memory involves an ex-Twin when Johann Santana threw the 1st Mets perfect game that wrecked his arm & cut short his career, getting no love from NY & killing his chances for a well-deserved HOF spot. Also didn't like the Twins trading him in the 1st place.

But my worst bad memories are not player-based they are management-based. They are too many to name & would love to go back & undo all of them & prevent any potential future ones.