Article: Game Thread: Twins v Royals, 5/23 @ 7:10pm CT

[Pardon My Dinger]

May 23 and I can't even give away diamond level seats. You joyless bastards.

[Vanimal46]

May 23 and I can't even give away diamond level seats. You joyless bastards.

I suggest punching out your neighbor's car window and setting them nicely on the dash.

[Blake]

 

How are the Unicorns Blake? Have you rode the pink one yet?

No, but please fill me in, as you seem to be rather knowledgeable when it comes to such creatures.

[Blake]

 

May 23 and I can't even give away diamond level seats. You joyless bastards.

These days, loss leaders require a subsidy.

[Blake]

 

May 23 and I can't even give away diamond level seats. You joyless bastards.

Speaking of joyless:

 

Casey at the Bat

Ernest Lawrence Thayer

 

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play,
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A pall-like silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to the hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, “If only Casey could but get a whack at that—
We’d put up even money now, with Casey at the bat.”

But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a hoodoo, while the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey getting to the bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despisèd, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and men saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.

Then from five thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It pounded on the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile lit Casey’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ‘twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his
     shirt;
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance flashed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the
     air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped—
“That ain’t my style," said Casey. “Strike one!” the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled
     roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore;
“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone on the stand;
And it’s likely they’d have killed him had not Casey raised his
     hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the dun sphere flew;
But Casey still ignored it and the umpire said, “Strike two!”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered
     “Fraud!”
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles
     strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Casey’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate,
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate;
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children
     shout,
But there is no joy in Mudville—mighty Casey has struck out.

[Teflon]

Enough with trying to go against the wind. It's time to break wind and we've got the players who can do it!

[Blake]

 

Enough with trying to go against the wind. It's time to break wind and we've got the players who can do it!

Ask and ye shall receive:

 

[Vanimal46]

May 23 and I can't even give away diamond level seats. You joyless bastards.

If you do punch out your neighbor's car window, it's common courtesy to leave a note.

 

"Thought you could use a pick me up on a Monday. Have fun watching the 11-30 something Twins!

 

Love,

Pardon My Dinger"

[Blake]

 

I guess I haven't seen the episodes when he went international. I still like the show too. The Food Channel is my go-to when there's nothing else on TV. 

I'm guessing you watch A LOT of Food Channel.

[Pardon My Dinger]

If you do punch out your neighbor's car window, it's common courtesy to leave a note.

 

"Thought you could use a pick me up on a Monday. Have fun watching the 11-30 something Twins!

 

Love,

Pardon My Dinger"

Salt in the wound.

[Vanimal46]

I'm guessing you watch A LOT of Food Channel.

In this time of year, I sure do. I've been told to jump on the Game of Thrones bandwagon but have yet to watch 1 episode. I have 2 more months until Mr. Robot is back on USA Network. There's not much else out there to watch right now.

[Bark's Lounge]

I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that the Twins would be much better this year if Terry Ryan went to Hair Club for Men this past offseason. I think if his confidence was in better shape, the Twins would have benefited from it and his roster construction choices would have been enhanced from this new found confidence.

[Vanimal46]

I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that the Twins would be much better this year if Terry Ryan went to Hair Club for Men this past offseason. I think if his confidence was in better shape, the Twins would have benefited from it and his roster construction choices would have been enhanced from this new found confidence.

Ryan Hair.jpg

He'd also have a great reason to wear the pearl necklace again. It looks great with the long hair!

[Bark's Lounge]

 

He'd also have a great reason to wear the pearl necklace again. It looks great with the long hair!

I'd oblige you Van, but I am not looking for trouble tonight.

[Squirrel]

 

I thought apartment life in downtown Chicago was pretty much the same thing... without the yard.

I think there is a technical definition ... 500sq ft or less? Or something like that. I'm at 1400sq ft so I'm not in a tiny house situation. Plus ... I do have outdoor space ... just no grass. I used to have flowers everywhere, but having no water source on my balcony, it became a drag hauling water out there, so my planter boxes have lain dormant the last couple of years.

[formerly33]

 

Speaking of joyless:

 

Casey at the Bat

(...)

I bet the Mudville Nine only had 11 wins so far. The outcome is even worse when they're on the road.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwylSCS-OP4

[Squirrel]

 

Someone else had this problem a while ago; the solution is in a blogs thread starting here, but should probably be separated since it occurs in forums as well.

 

I always put the embed code Chi provided around my URL's, but I'm pretty sure it's not necessary ... at any rate, the trick is copying the URL from the browser rather than clicking "get video URL."

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXCGnTy-v2M

 

Vs.

 

https://youtu.be/QXCGnTy-v2M

Yes, you can click the media icon and put in the web address, but just typing the media-/media thing before and after accomplishes the same thing with few steps. But either way.

[operation mindcrime]

Alex Gordon to the DL with a broken bone in his hand.

[DaveW]

 

In this time of year, I sure do. I've been told to jump on the Game of Thrones bandwagon but have yet to watch 1 episode. I have 2 more months until Mr. Robot is back on USA Network. There's not much else out there to watch right now.

Silicon Valley is one of the funniest comedies I have ever seen, The Americans is top notch television as well. Preacher looks promising, and while I am not super into GoT it is at least entertaining.

Definitely start watching Silicon Valley and the Americans though, both are instant classics.

[formerly33]

 

Yes, you can click the media icon and put in the web address, but just typing the media-/media thing before and after accomplishes the same thing with few steps. But either way.

I know, but you don't even need to do that:

 

 

(You can click "edit" on my post to see what I mean.)

Edited May 23, 2016 by always33

[Platoon]

Good. No Dozier in the lineup tonight. Let's give him some time to reflect on how great he feels.

 

Now that set my snark meter to full alert!

[David HK]

 

 

The odds of me saying that exact line… to an actual major league pitcher while not knowing he was a major league pitcher when I said it… in of all places… East Grand Forks… has to be astronomical. True Story.
 

Not surprised at all.  A lotta weird s*** going down in East Grand.  

 

Someday, I may entertain the masses with the saga of fleeing from the EGF cops along the muddy river bank when they busted us hopping the coal train to the bars on the Minny side....  Back in the Original Whitey's days.

[Vanimal46]

Silicon Valley is one of the funniest comedies I have ever seen, The Americans is top notch television as well. Preacher looks promising, and while I am not super into GoT it is at least entertaining.

Definitely start watching Silicon Valley and the Americans though, both are instant classics.

The Americans is a show I've been meaning to get into. I see full seasons are available on Amazon Video too. I'll have to dive in and check it out!

[David HK]

 

Alex Gordon to the DL with a broken bone in his hand.

They need a LF?  Maybe we can trade Grossman while he's hot!

[Platoon]

Monday 5/23 8:10pm

Ricky Nolasco ®

vs. Royals - Ian Kennedy ®

 

Twins

 

1. Eduardo Nunez ® 2B

2. Joe Mauer (L) 1B

3. Miguel Sano ® RF

4. Trevor Plouffe ® 3B

5. Byung Ho Park ® DH

6. Robbie Grossman (S) LF

7. Eduardo Escobar (S) SS

8. Kurt Suzuki ® C

9. Danny Santana (S) CF

 

Bums from KC

 

1. Alcides Escobar ® SS

2. Whit Merrifield ® 3B

3. Lorenzo Cain ® CF

4. Eric Hosmer (L) 1B

5. Kendrys Morales (S) DH

6. Salvador Perez ® C

7. Paulo Orlando ® RF

8. Omar Infante ® 2B

9. Jarrod Dyson (L) LF

I keep wondering, and begging, for some defense first players. Especially up the middle. NO I am told, we need offense! Like our 6,7,8, and 9? It makes me

[David HK]

 

I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that the Twins would be much better this year if Terry Ryan went to Hair Club for Men this past offseason. I think if his confidence was in better shape, the Twins would have benefited from it and his roster construction choices would have been enhanced from this new found confidence.

Ryan Hair.jpg

Thanks, Bark.  I have new-found confidence now, just knowing that I don't look like that.

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Thanks, Bark.  I have new-found confidence now, just knowing that I don't look like that.

No problem David, I am always glad to lend a helping hand.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

I think there is a technical definition ... 500sq ft or less? Or something like that. I'm at 1400sq ft so I'm not in a tiny house situation. Plus ... I do have outdoor space ... just no grass. I used to have flowers everywhere, but having no water source on my balcony, it became a drag hauling water out there, so my planter boxes have lain dormant the last couple of years.

 

And it costs 10 times as much

[Platoon]

Speaking of joyless:

 

Casey at the Bat

 

Ernest Lawrence Thayer

 

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:

The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play,

And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,

A pall-like silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest

Clung to the hope which springs eternal in the human breast;

They thought, “If only Casey could but get a whack at that—

We’d put up even money now, with Casey at the bat.”

But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,

And the former was a hoodoo, while the latter was a cake;

So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,

For there seemed but little chance of Casey getting to the bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,

And Blake, the much despisèd, tore the cover off the ball;

And when the dust had lifted, and men saw what had occurred,

There was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.

Then from five thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;

It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;

It pounded on the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,

For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place;

There was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile lit Casey’s face.

And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,

No stranger in the crowd could doubt ‘twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;

Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his

     shirt;

Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,

Defiance flashed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the

     air,

And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.

Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped—

“That ain’t my style," said Casey. “Strike one!” the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled

     roar,

Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore;

“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone on the stand;

And it’s likely they’d have killed him had not Casey raised his

     hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey’s visage shone;

He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;

He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the dun sphere flew;

But Casey still ignored it and the umpire said, “Strike two!”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered

     “Fraud!”

But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.

They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles

     strain,

And they knew that Casey wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Casey’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate,

He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate;

And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,

And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,

The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;

And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children

     shout,

But there is no joy in Mudville—mighty Casey has struck out.

A friend of mine who is in radio, now in Belle Fouche, told a tormented version of this one night after a softball game. Side splitting hilarious. Despite repeated requests, bordering on begging, he absolutely refused to ever tell it again. Said he normally only told it at paid events? Lol

[David HK]

 

I suggest punching out your neighbor's car window and setting them nicely on the dash.

I seem to remember one of Garrison Keillor's tales about how everybody's tomatoes would come in at the same time, and people would sneak onto each other's porch at night and leave bags of 'em and run. Maybe Twinks tickets are the new, ripe tomatoes. 

 

Neighbor, going out to work in the sunny AM:  "Dammit!  They stuck me with the Diamond-levels again!  I'll get 'em back with the Sky-Decks tonight..."