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Chuck Klostermann's HYPERtheticals

Vanimal46

By Vanimal46
in The Sports Bar

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Mike Sixel GOAT

Mike Sixel

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Posted
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so much of taste is smell and feel.......plus, it is just less useful for survival, imo. If I have to give up a sense, it would be that one for sure.

 

I'd like to taste with my sight, because NO ONE else does, and I want to be unique (not really, but I felt like typing that).

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Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

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Posted
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so much of taste is smell and feel.......plus, it is just less useful for survival, imo. If I have to give up a sense, it would be that one for sure.

 

I'd like to taste with my sight, because NO ONE else does, and I want to be unique (not really, but I felt like typing that).

Fine, then I want to taste with my hearing. Um, wait ... does that mean I'd have to put food in my ears? If so, then no.

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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Dream DVR:

 

At long last, someone invents "the dream DVR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream DVR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream DVR.

 

Would you still do this?

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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Hehe. Nope.

You don't want to open that can of worms, eh Craig? May have to explain to your wife why one of her friends is dressed a certain way in your dreams?

ashbury GOAT

ashbury

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Maybe, if the aforementioned friends and family also agree to this arrangement with their dreams. I'm not doing it unilaterally.

 

It could be an interestingly different society if we all did, though.

 

I stopped having a series of disturbing nightmares when I finally got around to writing them down systematically over a period of a few months - coincidence? I still don't know what they mean, except maybe literal anxieties from decades past about school and jobs and buying houses and so forth.

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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I would say that if you do it, your friends and family also have to do it. I rarely remember dreams, so it'd be interesting to know what I do dream about normally. The only ones I remember are the NSFW ones and being chased by a serial killer type person. 

Mike Sixel GOAT

Mike Sixel

Old-Timey Member
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Not sure I see the upside, to offset the risks. 

 

From reading a lot of sci fi.....it could:

 

A:  make us all hate each other, and lead to violence

B:  make us more comfortable with feelings, and reduce jealousy, and reduce our uptightness, and lead to utopia.

 

I bet on A right now.....

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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I think a really pressing matter in whether or not I want to use this Dream DVR is this... How fast can we fast forward through the commercials to get back to the dreams? What would the commercials entail? Is it just a blank screen until we get back into REM sleep in order to dream? 

twinsnorth49 St Paul Saints

twinsnorth49

Old-Timey Member
Posted
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I'd do it if I can arrange an "all persons fictitious " disclaimer at the beginning of each episode.

 

That would work........right?

 

Still pretty risky, I'm the same as Levi, I'm lucky if I can recall even a snippet of what I've been dreaming about.

Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

Community Moderator
Posted
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I very rarely recall any dreams, so I may answer yes just to see what the hell is going on in my brain at night.

I think this could very well fall into the 'Be careful what you wish for' category. But hey, you are courageous to do so.

TheLeviathan MVP

TheLeviathan

Old-Timey Member
Posted
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I think this could very well fall into the 'Be careful what you wish for' category. But hey, you are courageous to do so.

 

Indeed, but it's been a major point of conversation for my wife and I over the years.  She has vivid recollection and I have virtually none, so we find each other's experience hard to fathom.  It'd be nice to have a taste of it if nothing else.

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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To answer the question from yesterday, I would say yes and do the Dream DVR, but like north said, have a disclaimer at the beginning saying these characters are fictional and poorly impersonated versions of friends/acquaintances/family members. To be honest I'm just curious as to what the heck I dream about too, if any at all.  

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

Old-Timey Member
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We're running out of interesting HYPERtheticals written by Klosterman. So I'm going to create a baseball related hyperthetical off the top of my head... Hold on.

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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Triple Crown or Hitting Streak?

Congratulations! You've made it to the big show on your favorite team, the Minnesota Twins! You have your best year ever playing baseball, and have the choice between 2 prestigious awards.... You can be a triple crown winner! Chicks dig the long ball, and by god, you're one of the best in the league at doing so. In fact, you post numbers that mirror Miguel Cabrera in 2012 - .330 44 HR 140 RBI .999 OPS. Your other choice, is not as sexy as a triple crown. You're primarily a singles hitter, and only manage a .256 BA, .656 OPS, but you break Joe DiMaggio's 56 game hitting streak in the ugliest fashion possible.. Your hits are choppers off home plate, texas leaguers, and dribblers down the 3rd base line. 

Would you rather win the Triple Crown, or have mediocre stats but break the hitting streak record?
 

Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted

Triple crown. I don't want to break a hit streak record in the ugliest manner possible. That would be yucky, imo.

formerly33 Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

formerly33

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

Nope, I certainly don't. People'd say it's because I was a woman, i.e. "See, women can't compete," etc. Triple crown for sure. I'd not only be the first woman baseball player in MLB but the first to win the triple crown, and not only the first woman to do something but the first rookie to ... I think. They'd come up with the always33 award after I died, I'm sure. It would be a most deserving title.

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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Triple Crown, for sure. If I were a Punch and Judy hitter with an OPS of .656, Twins Daily would rip me to shreds and run me out of town, Joe Dimaggio or not.

Or Twins Daily would idolize you for some how getting a hit in 57+ straight games!

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