Chuck Klostermann's HYPERtheticals

[Vanimal46]

I will be upfront and say that I stole this idea from the Power Trip Morning Show on KFAN - gotta give credit where credit is due. I heard them talking about the book HYPERtheticals: Questions for Insane Conversations one morning, and it prompted me to buy the book. Since we're in the calm before the storm of Spring Training, I figured I would post a question of the day until the real baseball season begins. 

Here we go. 

[Vanimal46]

A Life in Film: 

For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as "brutally honest and relentlessly fair." Meanwhile, Sony Entertainment has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all of your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.

 

You can only choose 1 film to watch, and the other movie you will never be able to see in your lifetime. You will only know the reactions from your friends and family about the movie you did not watch. Which movie will you decide to watch?

[Craig Arko]

You're going to hate me.

 

Neither.

[Vanimal46]

You're going to hate me.

 

Neither.

That's not an option Craig!

[PseudoSABR]

Documentary.  It'd be far more meaningful to see what people you knew said about you than to see some sensationalized account of your life.   That said, no one else but me would be entertained.

[TheLeviathan]

I think I'd approach the Michael Bay version like MST3k.

[Craig Arko]

That's not an option Craig!

Very well. The documentary. And it shall be called...

 

 

 

And all shall know fear.

[twinsnorth49]

I'll go big budget, but only if I get to blow things up real good.

 

Of course, I'd also have to do a Hitchcock style cameo.

[Vanimal46]

Documentary.  It'd be far more meaningful to see what people you knew said about you than to see some sensationalized account of your life.   That said, no one else but me would be entertained.

I like the thought. Then again, when are you ever going to get another chance at having your story glamorized in Hollywood with an A list actor portraying you? And obviously a gorgeous model playing your wife?

[Vanimal46]

I think I'd approach the Michael Bay version like MST3k.

In other words, you want robot fights and big explosions involved in your story? At least the teens will show up to your movie!

[Vanimal46]

Very well. The documentary. And it shall be called...

image.jpeg

And all shall know fear.

It's going to be brutally honest, and terrifying at the same time! Better hope your coworkers don't see it.

[Vanimal46]

I'll go big budget, but only if I get to blow things up real good.

Of course, I'd also have to do a Hitchcock style cameo.

Would Mike Smith portray you in your Hollywood movie?

[twinsnorth49]

Would Mike Smith portray you in your Hollywood movie?

Tough choice, but ultimately he lacks my leading man good looks.............yeah, that's it

[TheLeviathan]

 

In other words, you want robot fights and big explosions involved in your story? At least the teens will show up to your movie!

 

And I'd get to make fun of all the absurdity - hell yeah.

[PseudoSABR]

 

I like the thought. Then again, when are you ever going to get another chance at having your story glamorized in Hollywood with an A list actor portraying you? And obviously a gorgeous model playing your wife?

You said I wouldn't be able to the watch the movie, I'm guessing I can still see the cast list.    I'm just very cynical and believe that Hollywood would cast according to their profits not for accuracy.

[Vanimal46]

We're tied so far with 2 documentaries, and 2 movies. I'll reveal my answer when I introduce the next question.

 

For those that choose big budget movie, think about this: you'll never know how the documentary about you is positioned. For all you know, the directors could have portrayed you as an evil being. Interview people who are long out of your life... Clean out every skeleton from your closet... Are you okay with this?

 

For those that choose documentary, think about this: the big budget movie could be a timeless movie. The kind of movie that's shared from generation to generation. Your character is an iconic figure, like Walter White in Breaking Bad. Are you okay with this?

[nicksaviking]

Documentary, I could't handle someone else doing my nude scenes.

 

Those I do myself, and with great frequency in the documentary version.

[Vanimal46]

 

Documentary, I could't handle someone else doing my nude scenes.

Those I do myself, and with great frequency in the documentary version.

You're putting the "BRUTAL" in brutally honest! You sure you want your friends and family to see.......that?

[Squirrel]

 

You're putting the "BRUTAL" in brutally honest! You sure you want your friends and family to see.......that?

How do you know they already haven't?

[Vanimal46]

 

How do you know they already haven't?

Very true. What would you choose ChiTown?

[Squirrel]

Hollywood movie. I already know my truth and have friends who will be bluntly honest, or honestly blunt, with me, so I'd enjoy hollywood's take as I've already lived the documentary. But it would have to be a RomCom

[Mike Sixel]

 

Very well. The documentary. And it shall be called...

image.jpeg

And all shall know fear.

 

What edition or game do you play?

[Mike Sixel]

documentary, I would be too curious about what people really think to miss that. Don't care about the fictional version at all, frankly. 

[Craig Arko]

What edition or game do you play?

I've played many, dating back to Metamorphosis Alpha in 1976. These days, I prefer Pathfinder, since swords and sorcery is my genre.

 

One of the kids I work with is suggesting Warhammer and d20 Modern. Maybe...

[nicksaviking]

 

Hollywood movie. I already know my truth and have friends who will be bluntly honest, or honestly blunt, with me, so I'd enjoy hollywood's take as I've already lived the documentary. But it would have to be a RomCom

 

Let's go heavy on the com light on the rom.

[Vanimal46]

 

Let's go heavy on the com light on the rom.

If Jennifer Anniston is portraying ChiTown in the Hollywood movie, let's go heavy rom, light com.....

[Mike Sixel]

 

I've played many, dating back to Metamorphosis Alpha in 1976. These days, I prefer Pathfinder, since swords and sorcery is my genre.

One of the kids I work with is suggesting Warhammer and d20 Modern. Maybe...

 

I am down to only D&D for RPG......but even that is dead now for me. 

[Squirrel]

 

Let's go heavy on the com light on the rom.

Would be my life, actually ... want me to share a few stories?

[Vanimal46]

We've got 4 documentaries and 3 hollywood movies... I'm going to keep it a tie as my answer is a Hollywood movie. I'd also like Will Ferrell to be the lead man for me. He'd bring a lot of comedy to my life.. I also have a feeling if I watched the documentary, I'd know who I need to cut out of my life, but I also don't want to be pissed off watching it. 

 

[Vanimal46]

Here's the next scenario:

The Prince of Sex Appeal:

You meet a wizard in downtown Minneapolis. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make him $1 more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But -- somehow -- this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though -- you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.


How much cash are you going to give the Wizard? Let's also keep in mind, this has to be an amount that you can afford, and ultimately justify to your significant other as to why this money has been taken out of the account.