Chuck Klostermann's HYPERtheticals

[Craig Arko]

Wait...are we talking about the same Twins Daily?

I'm sure you'd be slammed for your FipWAR+, or some such thing.

[Mike Sixel]

 

I'm sure you'd be slammed for your FipWAR+, or some such thing.

 

Winner.

[Hrbowski]

 

Nope, I certainly don't. People'd say it's because I was a woman, i.e. "See, women can't compete," etc. Triple crown for sure. I'd not only be the first woman baseball player in MLB but the first to win the triple crown, and not only the first woman to do something but the first rookie to ... I think. They'd come up with the always33 award after I died, I'm sure. It would be a most deserving title.

Why wouldn't you go by your real name?

[Hrbowski]

 

Dream DVR:

 

At long last, someone invents "the dream DVR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream DVR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream DVR.

 

Would you still do this?

Yes, I would be able to communicate what I thought about them a little better.

[formerly33]

 

Why wouldn't you go by your real name?

Naturally I prefer the general populace to have to exert a little effort in order to find my name. Furthermore, I strictly forbid you to tell anyone or so much as give hints. If they want to know, they have to figure it out themselves or, at the very least, ask me. It's not a difficult feat by any stretch of the imagination.

 

Of course, I would definitely have my last name on my jersey, but I'd still wear 33. I'd just be [---] 33 instead of always33. Not that big of a difference. And I have a feeling everyone on here would still think of me as Always. Y'know, for TD at least, I'd rather go by the name I gave myself than my father's father's father's father's father's name. Too many fathers, if you know what I mean.

[Vanimal46]

To answer the question from yesterday, Mike brings up a very valid point. Money talks, and I'd love nothing more than lots and lots of money. However, I'm choosing the hitting streak. Very few have come within 10 games of that nearly unbreakable 56 game hitting streak, and your legacy could carry you a long way, even past retirement. 

[Mike Sixel]

 

To answer the question from yesterday, Mike brings up a very valid point. Money talks, and I'd love nothing more than lots and lots of money. However, I'm choosing the hitting streak. Very few have come within 10 games of that nearly unbreakable 56 game hitting streak, and your legacy could carry you a long way, even past retirement. 

 

I totally get that decision, btw. 

[Squirrel]

 

To answer the question from yesterday, Mike brings up a very valid point. Money talks, and I'd love nothing more than lots and lots of money. However, I'm choosing the hitting streak. Very few have come within 10 games of that nearly unbreakable 56 game hitting streak, and your legacy could carry you a long way, even past retirement. 

If you hadn't added the caveat 'in the ugliest manner' I might have gone with that, too. That was my hang up. I wouldn't want people saying 'Yeah, but those weren't really 'hits.' Bloopers shouldn't count.'

[Vanimal46]

Today's question off the top of my head.....

Chef, Masseuse, or Chauffeur?

 

Congratulations! You really killed it at work, and as a reward for your dedication, your company has given you the opportunity to win a prize! You have the choice between 3 options, and no matter what you choose, it will be free, unlimited service for the next 6 months. Your first choice is to get a chef to prepare your meals. The second choice is to have a personal masseuse to relieve any tensions you have from a long day at the office. And the third choice is a chauffeur, so you never have to worry about driving you and your significant other around the town. 

Which option would you choose for your prize?

 

[TheLeviathan]

Chef.

[Squirrel]

Oh, that's an easy one for me ... massage therapist, absolutely. I live in the city, so I don't need a chef as I have so many great restaurants at my disposal; and I like to bake, so wouldn't want anyone to take over that part of it. And, again, big city ... I never have to drive anywhere if I don't want to, but I prefer driving myself.

 

And I changed it to massage therapist, otherwise that really becomes a question for men, not women, unless you change the wording to masseuse/masseur.

[Mike Sixel]

Well, my wife is a personal chef.......and we are about to move to downtown Portland (please let it happen soon), so, I don't think I need a chef (and I like to cook, which I expect to do more of when we move if I keep my job and my days end around 330).

 

The driver is an interesting idea. If that includes trips to wineries when we move, that would allow us to go to more than 1 in a day.....but one of the reasons we are moving downtown is so we don't have to drive most of the time.

 

The massage thing, though? I love getting massages, but am too cheap to pay for them consistently. So, that one.

 

but, this is a great, great question, imo.

[Vanimal46]

Thank you, just something that came off the top of my head. All options are great, depending on what you're seeking. Not having to cook every night is amazing... A massage therapist would keep you feeling good every day.... And I've always thought if I made obscene amounts of money, one of my first purchases would be a driver so I'd never have to deal with the stress of rush hour traffic again. 

[Mike Sixel]

 

Thank you, just something that came off the top of my head. All options are great, depending on what you're seeking. Not having to cook every night is amazing... A massage therapist would keep you feeling good every day.... And I've always thought if I made obscene amounts of money, one of my first purchases would be a driver so I'd never have to deal with the stress of rush hour traffic again. 

 

Oh ya, I want all three......

[Craig Arko]

The Chef. Specializing in Asian cuisine.

[twinsnorth49]

My wife and I have a busy life, between our jobs and our two children things can be pretty hectic. Meal planning and preparation is one of the most difficult things to constantly balance so I'd pick the chef, easily.

[formerly33]

 

 

Chef, Masseuse, or Chauffeur?

 

What happened to those age old Chiefisms?

 

Yes.

[Squirrel]

Oh ya, I want all three......

Oh man, talk about greedy.

 

 

And I'm right there with you.

[Vanimal46]

 

My wife and I have a busy life, between our jobs and our two children things can be pretty hectic. Meal planning and preparation is one of the most difficult things to constantly balance so I'd pick the chef, easily.

Do you have some picky eaters on your hand? I must have driven my mother crazy as a young child because I was the pickiest eater on the planet. Luckily I broke out of that habit, and now I'm basically a garbage disposal...

[Mike Sixel]

 

My wife and I have a busy life, between our jobs and our two children things can be pretty hectic. Meal planning and preparation is one of the most difficult things to constantly balance so I'd pick the chef, easily.

 

Hire a personal chef 1 week a month.....my wife has some clients that only use her services* 1 time a month just for a break.

 

*not sure that sounds right

[twinsnorth49]

 

Do you have some picky eaters on your hand? I must have driven my mother crazy as a young child because I was the pickiest eater on the planet. Luckily I broke out of that habit, and now I'm basically a garbage disposal...

No, my kids aren't picky at all, we never catered to that when they were young so they have a taste for pretty much everything, definitely helps when we eat out because we can go to places we like and not McDonalds and the like.

 

It's just the daily grind of getting home from work and having to make something in a short period of time because someone has to be somewhere, usually when it's the last thing you feel like doing.

[twinsnorth49]

 

Hire a personal chef 1 week a month.....my wife has some clients that only use her services* 1 time a month just for a break.

 

*not sure that sounds right

Lol, I take it your wife never sees this site? At least I hope for your sake she doesn't.

[TheLeviathan]

 

My wife and I have a busy life, between our jobs and our two children things can be pretty hectic. Meal planning and preparation is one of the most difficult things to constantly balance so I'd pick the chef, easily.

 

Exactly my reason.

[Vanimal46]

To answer the question from yesterday, all 3 options are great. And depending on your family/kids situation, it makes sense what people chose. For me, I would choose the chauffeur 100%. That would save so much wasted time debating over who's the DD for the night, who's getting the uber, how are we all getting home from the bar scenarios. And it'd save a ton of road rage from terrible rush hour traffic drivers on the highway.

[Vanimal46]

Today's question off the top of my head....

Back to the 90's:

AT&T is running a once in a lifetime offer! They want to increase sales on their land line phones, and offers you a monthly stipend for the rest of your life to ditch your smart phone, and return to the days of land lines. What that monthly stipend will be is up to you. However, there is a catch... No matter what year it is, you will never be able to own another cell phone again. And whatever they invent as the replacement of cell phones is also on the list for devices you can no longer own. Everything else in your life remains the same, using the computer to check email, browse the internet, etc.

How much money would you need per month to give up your cell phone for good? 

 

[Craig Arko]

 

Today's question off the top of my head....

Back to the 90's:

AT&T is running a once in a lifetime offer! They want to increase sales on their land line phones, and offers you a monthly stipend for the rest of your life to ditch your smart phone, and return to the days of land lines. What that monthly stipend will be is up to you. However, there is a catch... No matter what year it is, you will never be able to own another cell phone again. And whatever they invent as the replacement of cell phones is also on the list for devices you can no longer own. Everything else in your life remains the same, using the computer to check email, browse the internet, etc.

How much money would you need per month to give up your cell phone for good? 

 

Enough to cover the cost of living on Maui.

[Mike Sixel]

 

Today's question off the top of my head....

Back to the 90's:

AT&T is running a once in a lifetime offer! They want to increase sales on their land line phones, and offers you a monthly stipend for the rest of your life to ditch your smart phone, and return to the days of land lines. What that monthly stipend will be is up to you. However, there is a catch... No matter what year it is, you will never be able to own another cell phone again. And whatever they invent as the replacement of cell phones is also on the list for devices you can no longer own. Everything else in your life remains the same, using the computer to check email, browse the internet, etc.

How much money would you need per month to give up your cell phone for good? 

 

 

Well, I will be dead in 20-40 years, so it won't be THAT cool whatever comes next.

 

I'd guess, like Craig, it would have to be such a yuge amount that I could live wherever I wanted for free. don't know the number, but it is over 10K a month. 

[TheLeviathan]

Yeah, I'd basically have to be so wealthy I'd never need the phone. 

 

But that advent of cell phones has eliminated so many other technologies.  And since I assume things like facetime would also be unavailable to me, I'm not sure I'd even go along with it.  It would effectively cut me off from my child and my family and many other people.

[Squirrel]

 

Enough to cover the cost of living on Maui.

I'll wave to you from Kauai.

[Mike Sixel]

My wife said chef. I said that wad my last choice. She said that was because I had her.....