Minnesota Twins Whine Line

[Mike Sixel]

I need some social advice, seems like a reasonable place to get it.......

 

I am going to a bar tonight to watch friends play in bands, and yet, the Twins will likely be on the tv there. How do I watch the Twins game w/o being a jerk?

[Vanimal46]

 

I need some social advice, seems like a reasonable place to get it.......

 

I am going to a bar tonight to watch friends play in bands, and yet, the Twins will likely be on the tv there. How do I watch the Twins game w/o being a jerk?

 

Mike, it sounds like you're in quite a pickle tonight... but I think I know a good way around it. What I would do is get a front row seat to the show, so your friends know you're there. DURING the show, you can hold the phone in front of your face, giving the illusion that you're recording their show, and looking like a really great friend. Little do they know, you're watching the Twins game on the mlb.tv app, so you can kill 2 birds with 1 stone! If they come up after the show and ask to see the video you were recording, let them know your phone is dead. And tomorrow, call them, acting VERY distraught, because the video was somehow deleted from your phone!

 

If the game is close, then you can always pull an Irish exit and go to the next bar showing the game on TV! 

[Vanimal46]

 

Vanimal, another call not Twins related but my magic eight ball predicts the Yankees to continue to collapse and stink at the plate. Alex Rodriguez is chasing to many of Tiger Woods old girlfriends, Ellsbury and Gardner are not hitting like they used to and Teixeria's knees and elbow are becoming a headache, hence the Bird is the word guy playing first base. Do you see the Twins as having a chance to catch the Yankees for the number one Wild card spot and someone else bumping them out of the number two.

The magic eight ball may just be full of "Deuce" but she correctly predicted Jepsen replacing Perkins at least temporarily was Almost Certain. I will hang up and listen the Jdude

 

J! Dude! Another brilliant question that I can really dig DEEP to find the right answer. Whatever your magic eight ball drinks, I want some of that to be that ON POINT. I believe the Yankees are going to crash and burn the rest of the way, and our favorite team will jump up over everyone to be the #1 WC! 

 

Think about this Jdude... the combined age of the current Yankees roster is 742 years old!! That's a ton of old, rickety bones just waiting to break down. As far as we know, the Yankees do not employ robots, so their age is BOUND to catch up to them sooner than later.

[D. Hocking]

 

Mike, I'm really glad you brought up the story behind Vanimal. It goes a little something like this: It was 2012, and the Twins were beginning the complete rebuild of the team. I read online that Ben Revere was traded for Trevor May, and a guy named Vance Worley. After digging a little more, I learned that Worley gave himself the nickname VANIMAL. For a guy that was a spot starter for the Phillies and give himself that nickname, he must have major cojones to do that. 

 

And that's the kind of cojones needed to start a show like this. I couldn't have a handle like BillTwinsGuy and spit out HOT sports takes. It needs a STRONG name like Vanimal. 

 

Wait -- you mean you are not actually Vance Worely -- but simply his number one fan?  

 

Here I thought we were getting a look into one of the best young pitching minds of the 21st century.  i guess I won't ask you if there is a chance you could return to the Twins.

[Major League Ready]

 

I need some social advice, seems like a reasonable place to get it.......

 

I am going to a bar tonight to watch friends play in bands, and yet, the Twins will likely be on the tv there. How do I watch the Twins game w/o being a jerk?

That's easy.  Record it and watch it later.  You will just have to avoid looking at the internet until after you watch the game. 

[Vanimal46]

Wait -- you mean you are not actually Vance Worely -- but simply his number one fan?

 

Here I thought we were getting a look into one of the best young pitching minds of the 21st century. i guess I won't ask you if there is a chance you could return to the Twins.

Maybe I AM the real Vanimal. Bring out the radar gun and let's find out!!

[D. Hocking]

 

Maybe I AM the real Vanimal. Bring out the radar gun and let's find out!!

 

I want to believe....

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

Wait -- you mean you are not actually Vance Worely -- but simply his number one fan?  

 

Here I thought we were getting a look into one of the best young pitching minds of the 21st century.  i guess I won't ask you if there is a chance you could return to the Twins.

 

Says Denny Hocking, one of the best baseball minds of the 20th century...

[Vanimal46]

Sorry loyal whiners for the short show... One cocktail turned into one more; And, well, I'll let your imagination take over from there. Could there be a Ms. Vanimal who will contribute to future shows?

 

 

 

Tune in to the next episode of Minnesota Twins Whine Line to find out!

[Bark's Lounge]

No Vanimal!

 

Don't destroy your art. We don't need no John Lennon/Yoko Ono nonsense.

 

Fall in love if you may, but don't let it compromise your masterpiece!

 

Your #1 Fan,

 

Bark's Lounge

[Mike Sixel]

 

That's easy.  Record it and watch it later.  You will just have to avoid looking at the internet until after you watch the game. 

 

No cable, no DVR.....

 

Was able to look toward the band and a tv at the same time.....

[twinsnorth49]

 

I need some social advice, seems like a reasonable place to get it.......

 

I am going to a bar tonight to watch friends play in bands, and yet, the Twins will likely be on the tv there. How do I watch the Twins game w/o being a jerk?

"Listen" to the band, "watch" the TV, you can do it, I have faith in you. I'm sure your friends will be more interested in how you thought they sounded than how they looked………..I hope.

[USAFChief]

Van, my man...long time many time, Yada yada. It appears an 8 man bullpen isn't enough for the local 9. Any ideas?

[Vanimal46]

Annnd Welcome Back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line. I took some time off to reflect on the GAME THREAD debut. The intern was worn out from researching so many hot twins takes in a short amount of time. Anyway, the threads are HEATING UP again with plenty of topics to talk about. Is Sano an MVP?? Will the September call-ups make an impact? Are we still in a playoff race?

 

I'm also looking for very specific stats that I can't seem to find anywhere on TD... If anyone can tell me ABW's HR, 2B, and RBI totals, let me know. 

 

We'll take some calls as they come in today. hello?

[Vanimal46]

Testing, test. Hello? I f'd this up, let's do this f'ing thing again. Oh we're live?....

 

Annnnd welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line. Since the last time I checked in, the threads have been HEATING up with takes so hot, you need oven mitts to respond to their messages. What have we learned?

 

TR not only is HOF bound, but is actually our SAVIOR. Poor JO Berrios needs to grow 3 inches or he's DOOMED. And plenty of bickering back and forth.

 

You may not realize this now, but Vanimal is the answer to all of your problems. The glass is full of Deep Eddy's Lemon Vodka, and the phone lines are plugged in. We'll take calls in the order that they were received. Hello?

[ashbury]

Does Bill Smith need and deserve an apology for the things he did that he's already received appropriate credit for, time after time?

[Vanimal46]

Does Bill Smith need and deserve an apology for the things he did that he's already received appropriate credit for, time after time?

Thank you for the call Haight. To answer your question, no he does not need an apology. Quite frankly, I'm sure he's thrilled that so many people remember him! Sometimes he could use some love, we're all human beings. Even the Vanimal.

 

We've all had a Billy Smith in our lives, Haight. He's the recent ex! When things aren't going as planned with your current partner, some reflect and think, he wasn't so bad....He at least let me do this! But eventually, the bad times come to the surface, and we all remember why they're an ex.

[Bark's Lounge]

Word up Vanimal! Bark is in da house.

 

Crazy rumor out there... Detroit has supposedly pegged Ron Gardenhire to be their new manager at the closing of this season, ousting Brad Ausmus.

 

If this is true, will we be seeing a return of the aloof Scotty "The Weird" Ullger as a coach under Ron?

 

Will Rick Anderson ride into Detroit on his White Stallion and bitch slap the pitching coach position away from Jeff Jones?

 

This is crazy, but way premature in the rumor stages. If it happens, what can we expect?

 

I'll hang up and listen Oh Lord of the Airwaves.

[Pius Jefferson]

I just don't want to hear 'nobody uses the defensive shift more than Detroit.' 

[David HK]

How much you wanna bet Little Nicky shows up in a coaching box in Dee-troit?

 

Hopefully not a batter's box.

[David HK]

OH!  I forgot my whine! Sorry, am I still on?  Hello?

 

beeeeping* Molitor, and his beeeep* beeeep* inexplicable beeeeping* lineups lately, it's like he's trying to challenge his club to win while giving them some self-inflicted beeeeeeeeping* adversity to deal with.  Builds beeeeepity* beeeep* character, or something, I don't know.

 

Where's Vargas?!  Where is beeeeeeeep* beeeeepity* beeep* Vargas?  Hottest hitter in AAA in August- let's get him up here and sit him down, and let Hunter and Poof kill rallies.  

 

Let's shut down the young guy with the ace curveball that not a lot of AL hitters have seen yet, and put Dr. Destructo Pelfrey in the rotation instead.  Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

 

Inconceivably bad management.  In-con-beeeeeeeepity beeeep beeeeep* -ceivable.

 

Well, at least we haven't seen Boyer much lately.  I guess that's something.

 

I'll hang up and listen.

[Vanimal46]

 

Word up Vanimal! Bark is in da house.

 

Crazy rumor out there... Detroit has supposedly pegged Ron Gardenhire to be their new manager at the closing of this season, ousting Brad Ausmus.

 

If this is true, will we be seeing a return of the aloof Scotty "The Weird" Ullger as a coach under Ron?

 

Will Rick Anderson ride into Detroit on his White Stallion and bitch slap the pitching coach position away from Jeff Jones?

 

This is crazy, but way premature in the rumor stages. If it happens, what can we expect?

 

I'll hang up and listen Oh Lord of the Airwaves.

 

Bark, always good to hear from you my friend. The intern woke me up this morning with the same hot rumor that Gardy was making his return to the AL Central. I can not be more EXCITED for this to happen. It's the return of Pitch-to-Contact! Detroit is the gift that keeps on giving. It's like they have no idea of the Twins' future plan of bunting every.single.at bat. 

 

I have no doubt that Rick will ride in on that white stallion to join Gardy back on the bench. They're the 2 best friends that anyone can have! I can't wait to see Verlander start throwing 91 mph and Miguel Cabrera focus more on hitting to the opposite field. 

[Vanimal46]

 

OH!  I forgot my whine! Sorry, am I still on?  Hello?

 

beeeeping* Molitor, and his beeeep* beeeep* inexplicable beeeeping* lineups lately, it's like he's trying to challenge his club to win while giving them some self-inflicted beeeeeeeeping* adversity to deal with.  Builds beeeeepity* beeeep* character, or something, I don't know.

 

Where's Vargas?!  Where is beeeeeeeep* beeeeepity* beeep* Vargas?  Hottest hitter in AAA in August- let's get him up here and sit him down, and let Hunter and Poof kill rallies.  

 

Let's shut down the young guy with the ace curveball that not a lot of AL hitters have seen yet, and put Dr. Destructo Pelfrey in the rotation instead.  Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

 

Inconceivably bad management.  In-con-beeeeeeeepity beeeep beeeeep* -ceivable.

 

Well, at least we haven't seen Boyer much lately.  I guess that's something.

 

I'll hang up and listen.

 

Thank you for the call David. Though it was a little tough hearing you, the reception must not be as good in Hong Kong. I kept hearing a bunch of beeps, but I think I heard most of it...... We weren't able to get in touch with Paul Molitor to get his exact quote, but we were able to reach his brother, Pat Molitor, who had this to say. "Paul likes to troll TD posters with his lineups. It brings him great joy to get VodkaDave going.." 

 

I think you said something about Vargas? I'm not sure where he's been lately either. It's not like he can hide well.... I mean the guy is HUGE! Have you ever tried to play hide and seek with a 6'5" 300 lb guy? There's not a lot of places for him to hide.......

 

 

[Vanimal46]

Annnnnnnnd welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line. It's been a few weeks since I last checked in, and we're nearing the end of the season. Since I've been gone, there's been a TON of planning for Whine Line in the offseason. And when I say a TON, I really mean chicken scratch on bar napkins.

 

It's been a fun year for all, especially to all of you who made Minnesota Twins Whine Line what it is. We'll open up the phone lines a time or two the rest of the season, but the offseason is where the real HOT Twins takes happen. You know I'll be ready for that....

 

Let's see who dials in today. The vodka is poured, and the intern just paused his MLB The Show game. We'll take calls in the order that they were received. Test, test, hello?

[Willihammer]

(SQUEELING FEEDBACK)

 

hELLO?

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

(BANG BANG BANG BANG)

 

HHHHHHRAAAAAAT-T-T-T-T-T-T-T

 

hELLO?

[Circus Boy]

Hello Mr. Vanimal. Longtime listener, first time caller.

 

Nothing to whine about really, but yeah, the Twins have caused marital trouble for me. Switched on the Angels-Twins opening game of the latest four-game set, and just as I did so, Trout creamed a grand slam off Achter to wipe out what had been a 5-run lead. My sour look coincided with an innocent question from my lovely wife on an entirely different subject, and she stormed off. "Well, if you're going to look all disgusted when I talk with you, I'm leaving and maybe I'll come back!"

 

Somehow convinced her to come home. But it's chilly around here. Any advice?

[D. Hocking]

When Gardy takes over for Detroit next year, and wins the 2016 World Series with the help of somehow acquired, Big Papi, Liriano, and come-back player of 2016 Mauer  (who waived his no trade clause and in a new environment wins his fourth batting title and is a MVP finalist), will this board implode or explode?

 

Do you have plans to syndicate your show nationally, or perhaps you will take over for Bert when he fully retires.?  I kind of see you as the Howard Cosell of the 21st century.  

[Vanimal46]

 

(SQUEELING FEEDBACK)

 

hELLO?

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

(BANG BANG BANG BANG)

 

HHHHHHRAAAAAAT-T-T-T-T-T-T-T

 

hELLO?

 

Willihammer, you there? Hello?! HELLO?! Good god, what was that noise!! Shoot, I didn't hook up the phone line correctly.... 

[Vanimal46]

 

Hello Mr. Vanimal. Longtime listener, first time caller.

 

Nothing to whine about really, but yeah, the Twins have caused marital trouble for me. Switched on the Angels-Twins opening game of the latest four-game set, and just as I did so, Trout creamed a grand slam off Achter to wipe out what had been a 5-run lead. My sour look coincided with an innocent question from my lovely wife on an entirely different subject, and she stormed off. "Well, if you're going to look all disgusted when I talk with you, I'm leaving and maybe I'll come back!"

 

Somehow convinced her to come home. But it's chilly around here. Any advice?

 

Circus! Thanks for calling in yesterday. It sounds like you've got some 'splainin to do to your lovely wife. Did you let her know you were sour at Achter and not her? Either way, I have the perfect solution for you. If you have an iPad, go ahead and take a selfie of yourself smiling and happy. If this ever happens in the future, load the picture, and put it in front of your sour face the next time she asks you a question during the game. She will never know the difference!!

[Vanimal46]

 

When Gardy takes over for Detroit next year, and wins the 2016 World Series with the help of somehow acquired, Big Papi, Liriano, and come-back player of 2016 Mauer  (who waived his no trade clause and in a new environment wins his fourth batting title and is a MVP finalist), will this board implode or explode?

 

Do you have plans to syndicate your show nationally, or perhaps you will take over for Bert when he fully retires.?  I kind of see you as the Howard Cosell of the 21st century.  

 

Denny, glad to hear from you again. Your crystal ball of predictions for the Tigers does not sound THAT far off... But you did forget one key signing. The Vanimal will make his AL Central return, and win the Cy Young, capped off with a 2 hit shutout of the Twins in game 163. If all of this happens, Twins Daily will seize to exist, as every user will forget how to type coherent thoughts.. Every TD Policy will go out the window, and TwinsNorth will rally for Canada to bomb Detroit. That's not a world I want to live in Denny.... That's too scary to think about. 

 

As far as your other question, nah, there's nothing in the works for a nationally syndicated talk show. It takes a special kind of host to come up with national SCORCHING hot takes, and that guy isn't me. I only care about one thing: Scorching hot TWINS takes.