Game Thread: Twins vs Mariners, 7/31/15, 7:10 PM CDT

[LaBombo]

 

The site is still pretty balky for me.

 

Me too.    Not Steve Carlton (90 career MLB balks) bad, but for sure Jim Deshaies (35) bad.

[Winston Smith]

The site is still pretty balky for me.

I think you are being nice! Might be the site isn't happy about the trade.

[ashbury]

The site is still pretty balky for me.

A few words from Mrs Chief should adjust its attitude PDQ.

[Riverbrian]

 

Me too.    Not Steve Carlton (90 career MLB balks) bad, but for sure Jim Deshaies (35) bad.

 

I got Steve Carlton Bad on my end... I can't even post.

 

Wait a sec... I just posted. 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

At least the outs were loud that inning.

 

For a moment i thought/hoped Rosario and Sano were renewing their Rookie league homer competition...

[ashbury]

Any score updates lately? I think it's 3-1 Mariners after 5, but my MLB.tv is balky too.

[USAFChief]

Jesus Montero and Tijuan Walker decide tonight is the night to remember they were once good.

 

Fantastic.

[ashbury]

That's like having too much Tabasco on your lobster:   impossible.

What is your opinion on the optimum amount of balsamic vinegar on your Lucky Charms?

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Montero hit one into the bullpen. 4-1 Seattle (2 outs in the top of the 6th now)

 

CBU (a balky computer update?)

[LaBombo]

 

I got Steve Carlton Bad on my end... I can't even post.

 

Wait a sec... I just posted. 

 

It's one of those matter/anti-matter paradoxes, like Mrs. Bombo's attempt at troubleshooting a bad land line phone connection:   "I can't hear you.    Can you hear me?"

 

Hmm.    Let me think about how to relay that information to you while I attempt to extract the telephone handset from where I recently embedded it in my forehead...

[ashbury]

I got Steve Carlton Bad on my end... I can't even post.

 

Wait a sec... I just posted. 

Brock would be aware of all our complaining, except he can't get enough bandwidth to log in, so he doesn't know there's a problem.

[LaBombo]

 

 

What is your opinion on the optimum amount of balsamic vinegar on your Lucky Charms?

 

It depends on whether you're eating breakfast, cleaning stained brickwork, or both.

 

Delicious, yes, but Magically Delicious ?    That should be left to the eye and the palate of the beholder.

[ashbury]

This just in: Blaine Boyer is still on the 25-man roster.

[ashbury]

Hmm.    Let me think about how to relay that information to you while I attempt to extract the telephone handset from where I recently embedded it in my forehead...

Sounds painful. You should make a point of not doing that in the future.

[jimbo92107]

Could be your last chance to see Blaine Boyer pitch for the Twins. I now expect Seattle's lead to be extended.

[ashbury]

It depends on whether you're eating breakfast, cleaning stained brickwork, or both.

 

Delicious, yes, but Magically Delicious ?    That should be left to the eye and the palate of the beholder.

Well then let me try it a different way. Is it like having too much whiskey on your ice cubes: impossible?

[David HK]

Oh, goody, tuned in just in time for Boyer's farewell appearance.  One would hope.

[jimbo92107]

Boyer mows down the side! ...Kinda.

 

Yeah, I figure Jepsen will be a little better.

[ashbury]

No inherited runners score, while improving one's own ERA? Who are you and what have you done with Blaine Boyer?

[USAFChief]

It appears the Twins are as disappointed with the trade deadline as I am.

[LaBombo]

 

Well then let me try it a different way. Is it like having too much whiskey on your ice cubes: impossible?

 

Ok, now I'm on board.    There are no known quantity qualifiers for that one.    More = better. 

[ashbury]

Walker makes Mauer look like a rookie with that two-strike curveball.

[LaBombo]

 

 

Boyer mows down the side! ...Kinda.

 

Yeah, I figure Jepsen will be a little better.

 

 

Watching Boyer pitch is like watching a sloth play Operation with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.

 

All Jepsen has to do to be a step up from BB is skip the blowtorch.

[ashbury]

Watching Boyer pitch is like watching a sloth play Operation with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.

Not really. The sloth doesn't lick its fingers about six times between moves.

[ashbury]

Does Walker get a chance at the complete game? I'm thinking yes.

[LaBombo]

 

Walker makes Mauer look like a rookie with that two-strike curveball.

 

Alternate take:  Walker makes Mauer look like a walker with that two-strike curveball:

 

http://dawningcreates.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/twd_gp_311_0919_0288.jpg

[LaBombo]

 

Does Walker get a chance at the complete game? I'm thinking yes.

 

It's not like they're dying to get their trainwreck pen up.    Rumor has it they asked the Twins about the availability of Boyer.

[ashbury]

It appears the Twins are as disappointed with the trade deadline as I am.

And I bet the trade deadline feels just horrible about letting everyone down.

[LaBombo]

"W-9, W-9, this is Ghost.    Site lagging badly.    I attempt to transmit inane remark about baseball again at 2200 hours.     Over and out."

 

http://www.wearepolitics.com/uploads/9/3/7/0/9370245/336152_orig.jpg

[ashbury]

Eric Fryer: "How bad do I suck as a batter? I just got pinch hit for, by the hot hitting... Danny Santana."