Game Thread: Twins @ Royals, 8/28 @ 7:10pm CT

[stringer bell]

OK. Here's the reverse jinx. Which Royal is the hero?

[Riverbrian]

Are we allowed to tell you the score, or do you want to find out later?

Yeah it's ok... But... Lie if you don't mind.

[Riverbrian]

OK. Here's the reverse jinx. Which Royal is the hero?

Elizabeth II

[drunksam]

Paul Schafer should have punched that umpire.

[ashbury]

OK. Here's the reverse jinx. Which Royal is the hero?

I had the Stop! Hammer Time image cued up, and Josh struck out.  Gotta think up some more like that.  In the meantime, I'll answer yours with "all of them, including George Brett" just to be safe.

[stringer bell]

Hey, nice move by Plouffe to keep Schafer in the game.

[USAFChief]

Not much of a half swing.

As quoted from multiple Jordan Shafer scouting reports.

[ashbury]

Yeah it's ok... But... Lie if you don't mind.

OK.  The UND game is currently Rectangle to Green, with Lasagna minutes remaining in the Ozone quarter.

[Riverbrian]

Alright Halftime.... And now the 9th inning has my full attention.

 

Oh Look... Fireflies... I wonder if we have any jars.

 

I don't think we do...

 

I like Tomato Sauce... Especially over Spaghetti or on Pizza.

[USAFChief]

Wow.

[Willihammer]

Where's Mauer?

[ashbury]

They have a good catcher.

[snepp]

From his knees, that's just not fair.

[Riverbrian]

That jump was worse than the Perez throw was good.

[USAFChief]

They have a good catcher.

Who, UND?

[snepp]

Here's a fangraphs article I know Chief will appreciate.

 

 

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/zack-wheelers-historic-two-strike-streak/

[ashbury]

Very nice slide by Dozier too, giving him any kind of a chance as a normal one would have had him out straightforwardly.  But, for naught.

[glunn]

I have waited until now to read Brian's game thread.  Today was a long day, and I deferred gratification because I knew that I might need it more later in the day.  Good #5 Brian, but I could still use a Carnak or two from someone.

[ashbury]

My analysis: We should probably try to shut out the Royals the rest of this game.

[USAFChief]

Here's a fangraphs article I know Chief will appreciate.

 

 

 

Anything's possible I guess, but it'd be a first.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And it turns out you were right.    

[USAFChief]

I have waited until now to read Brian's game thread.  Today was a long day, and I deferred gratification because I knew that I might need it more later in the day.  Good #5 Brian, but I could still use a Carnak or two from someone.

I thought of you today when I saw the sad news.  Be well, friend.

[Halsey Hall]

So who gets the L tonight?  Not Duensing. 

[glunn]

I thought of you today when I saw the sad news.  Be well, friend.

Thanks, Chief.  Today has been surreal.

[ashbury]

Carnac: "Carnac".

Ed: <double take> Excuse me?

Carnac: Carnac.

Ed: Yourself?

Carnac: Possibly.  I only divine the answers.  The questions are sealed.

Ed: Hermetically.

Carnac: What they do in their free time is their own business.

Ed: Ah.  Your wisdom once again eludes me, yet shines down on all of us.

Carnac: Shall I open the envelope?

Ed: Sure, why not, your Magnificence.

Carnac: What did Henry Ford have?

[Riverbrian]

I have waited until now to read Brian's game thread. Today was a long day, and I deferred gratification because I knew that I might need it more later in the day. Good #5 Brian, but I could still use a Carnak or two from someone.

I've been thinking about you today... My friend. I'm sure it has been a long day.

[glunn]

A win tonight would be a very good thing.  Or a Carnak joke or two.

[glunn]

Carnac: "Carnac".

Ed: <double take> Excuse me?

Carnac: Carnac.

Ed: Yourself?

Carnac: Possibly.  I only divine the answers.  The questions are sealed.

Ed: Hermetically.

Carnac: What they do in their free time is their own business.

Ed: Ah.  Your wisdom once again eludes me, yet shines down on all of us.

Carnac: Shall I open the envelope?

Ed: Sure, why not, your Magnificence.

Carnac: What did Henry Ford have?

 

Thanks, ash.  That was better than Valium.

[USAFChief]

Carnac: "Carnac".

Ed: <double take> Excuse me?

Carnac: Carnac.

Ed: Yourself?

Carnac: Possibly.  I only divine the answers.  The questions are sealed.

Ed: Hermetically.

Carnac: What they do in their free time is their own business.

Ed: Ah.  Your wisdom once again eludes me, yet shines down on all of us.

Carnac: Shall I open the envelope?

Ed: Sure, why not, your Magnificence.

Carnac: What did Henry Ford have?

I thought the idea was a Carnac routine was supposed to make Glunn feel better.

[ashbury]

Carnac: "Deferred gratification".

Ed: Deferred gratification.

Carnac: Difficult to get anything past you, my friend.

Ed: You are too kind.

Carnac: Yes, actually I am.

Ed: <pauses> Thank you, your Magnificence. I think.

Carnac: If you call that thinking.

Ed: Perhaps you should open the envelope.

Carnac: What does an animal skinner get from his job?

[Riverbrian]

Nunez sure can't play D