Game Thread: Twins @ Royals, 8/28 @ 7:10pm CT

[JB_Iowa]

The difference in the running game between the Twins and Royals includes who is behind the plate.  Perez can make up for good jumps against Royals' pitchers, while Suzuki can't. 

 

Suzuki looks like he can hardly move tonight.

[Riverbrian]

So weird. There was a tornado on the ground about an hour away -- and we're not even in any kind of watch.

 

Very humid thought but not all that hot.

When Younger... I once said on the radio... "A tornado warning has been issued for (blank) county". You are advised to take shelter immediately... If no shelter is available... Head to your basement... Or an interior hallway... Stay away from windows... Mobile homes should be abandoned... If you see a tornado... Don't touch it... Leave it alone... They don't like to be handled and sometimes react violently to human contact.

 

The next morning... My boss chewed my ass out for the leave it alone comment.

[Danchat]

It might be a wee bit early for this, but I actually don't want to see Tommy Milone in the 2015 starting rotation.

 

Then again, it'll probably be either him or Pelfrey. Ugh.

[D. Hocking]

When Younger... I once said on the radio... "A tornado warning has been issued for (blank) county". You are advised to take shelter immediately... If no shelter is available... Head to your basement... Or an interior hallway... Stay away from windows... Mobile homes should be abandoned... If you see a tornado... Don't touch it... Leave it alone... They don't like to be handled and sometimes react violently to human contact.

 

Are you really Dr. Johnnie Fever?

[Riverbrian]

I don't know what's going on but the Gophers are playing football on the Vikings field.

[Riverbrian]

Are you really Dr. Johnnie Fever?

Boog-Errrrrrrrrrr!!!

[USAFChief]

Hey gang...request:  I'm taping the Gopher FB game and would like to watch it later...can everyone please refrain from posting scores (if anyone besides me is even interested.)

[Squirrel]

I'm immune from them anyway.  Lived most of my life in Iowa .... never saw a true funnel cloud.  I've seen wedge clouds but never saw one drop.

I wouldn't call that immune.  I'd call that ... you're due.

[Squirrel]

Hey gang...request:  I'm taping the Gopher FB game and would like to watch it later...can everyone please refrain from posting scores (if anyone besides me is even interested.)

Wooohooo ... Gophers!!  Touchdowns!  

[USAFChief]

Are you really Dr. Johnnie Fever?

Wasn't it Les Nessman who did the news/weather?

[Riverbrian]

Hey gang...request:  I'm taping the Gopher FB game and would like to watch it later...can everyone please refrain from posting scores (if anyone besides me is even interested.)

I won't give you the score but I apologize for letting you know that the Gophers are playing on the Vikings New home Field.

[Riverbrian]

Wasn't it Les Nessman who did the news/weather?

My favorite was when he led off his newscast with the story that the transmitter blew up.

[JB_Iowa]

Wasn't it Les Nessman who did the news/weather?

 

And distributed turkeys.

[USAFChief]

I won't give you the score but I apologize for letting you know that the Gophers are playing on the Vikings New home Field.

The Gophers are back in the Metrodome??!?

[stringer bell]

Really good play by their Escobar. 

[USAFChief]

Dozier-zee!

[D. Hocking]

Wasn't it Les Nessman who did the news/weather?

Johnnie would have to sometimes give emergency updates when Les was out of commission by falling turkeys or looking for communists or receiving prestigious hog report awards..  I do remember Les's sports reporting.  I think he was an early proponent of advanced saber-metrics  I remember Pete Rose guesting and they got into a big argument about BABIP (before the gambling scandel).

[stringer bell]

Dick still hasn't figured out Schafer's total of stolen bases.  He has 25 total, 10 for the Twins. 

[Squirrel]

The Gophers are back in the Metrodome??!?

Yeah, but now it's an open-air stadium.

[Riverbrian]

Les Nessman:

 

It's flying something behind it and I can't quite make it out. It's a large banner and it says H A P P Y... T H A N K S... giving... from W... K... R... P! What a sight, ladies and gentlemen. What a sight. The 'copter seems to circling the parking area now. I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of a helicopter. It's a dark object, perhaps a skydiver plummeting to the earth from only two thousand feet in the air... There's a third... No parachutes yet... Those can't be skydivers. I can't tell just yet what they are but... Oh my God! They're turkeys! Oh no! Johnny can you get this? Oh, they're crashing to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Folks, I don't know how much longer... The crowd is running for their lives. I think I'm going to step inside. I can't stand here and watch this anymore. No, I can't go in there. Children are searching for their mothers and oh, not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this. I don't know how much longer I can hold my position here, Johnny. The crowd...

 

Dr. Johnny Fever:

 

Les? Les? Les, are you there? Les isn't there. Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les. For those of you who've just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys. Film at eleven.

[USAFChief]

As I'm sure you all know, I'm just joking about the Gophers being back in the Metrodome.

 

As I'm sure you also all know, I was kidding RB about his joke...about the Vikings playing at the venerable home of the Gophers, right there on the UofM campus:  the beautiful open air horseshoe Memorial Stadium.

[GCTF]

Are you really Dr. Johnnie Fever?

More likely Les Nessman. We're being attacked by the godless tornadoes!

[USAFChief]

More likely Les Nessman. 

Sssslllloooooowwwwwwwwwww internet speeds up der, eh?

[GCTF]

Johnnie would have to sometimes give emergency updates when Les was out of commission by falling turkeys or looking for communists or receiving prestigious hog report awards..  I do remember Les's sports reporting.  I think he was an early proponent of advanced saber-metrics  I remember Pete Rose guesting and they got into a big argument about BABIP (before the gambling scandel).

Who could ever forget golf legend Chi-Chi Rod-ri-gweez.

[GCTF]

Sssslllloooooowwwwwwwwwww internet speeds up der, eh?

Gophers losing 7-0.

[USAFChief]

Gophers losing 7-0.

Well played, sir.

[Riverbrian]

[after an elderly couple has broken into the DJ booth]

 

Dr. Johnny Fever:

 

All right, you two, up against the wall! I don't know what you want but you should know I've killed a lot of old people in my time. And I'm not above doing it again.

[D. Hocking]

Similar to the godless tornadoes - the horrible monster lizard

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wML2V6crNc0

[GCTF]

[after an elderly couple has broken into the DJ booth]

 

Dr. Johnny Fever:

 

All right, you two, up against the wall! I don't know what you want but you should know I've killed a lot of old people in my time. And I'm not above doing it again.

PHONE COPS!

[USAFChief]

Bert would like Arcia more if he bunted more.