Why Every Single Twins Hitter Is Actually Just Another Miguel Sano
Entry posted by Greggory Masterson in Greggory T. Masterson's Twins blog about the Minnesota Twins of the Twin Cities, Minnesota ·
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We've all been there before, battling against a Pollyanna Twins fan who just doesn't get it! The guy is a bum! As they obstinately prattle on citing reason or having watched an MLB game before, the rage grows inside of you until you remember your trump card: He's just another Miguel Sano.
For your reference, I've compiled a list of 2023 Twins hitters and why they're just another Miguel Sano. If you ever meet someone who just won't listen to a baseball genius like yourself, you'll always have this argument.
Christian Vazquez: Overpaid albatross of a contract the Twins will never win paying him 10 million a year! Just another Miguel Sano!
Carlos Correa: OVERPAID! Rod in his leg! Big arm but nothing else! Just another Miguel Sano!
Byron Buxton: Always hurt! Strikes out too much! I thought I was promised him and Sano were going to lead this team to multiple World Series whatever happened to that! Just another Miguel Sano!
Max Kepler: Had a pop-up year in 2019 and has done NOTHING since! Just another Miguel Sano!
Jorge Polanco: Another bust who only made one All Star team! I was promised 12 more! Just another Miguel Sano!
Jordan Luplow: Was on waivers just like Sano should have been! Just another Miguel Sano!
Ryan Jeffers: Big lumbering oaf who strikes out too much! Just another Miguel Sano!
Michael A. Taylor: Runs into one once in a while but everything else is a strikeout! Just another Miguel Sano!
Matt Wallner: Big arm one-trick-pony who strikes out looking too much! Just another Miguel Sano!
Willi Castro: Swings at everything! No plate discipline! Just another Miguel Sano!
Edouard Julien: A butcher in the field and takes too many strikes! Goes up looking to walk! Just another Miguel Sano!
Jose Miranda: Bad third baseman who swings at everything! Just another Miguel Sano!
Trevor Larnach: Too many strikeouts! Just another Miguel Sano!
Kyle Garlick: Supposed to hit righties but doesn't! Just another Miguel Sano!
Donovan Solano: A butcher at third base! Just another Miguel Sano!
Gilberto Celestino: Saw him a couple years ago but not sure where he is now! Just another Miguel Sano!
Kyle Farmer: Actually no I like him he works really hard he plays the game the right way and isn't afraid to get dirty I'd let him date my daughter.
Nick Gordon: Bust who used to be a shortstop! Just another Miguel Sano!
Andrew Stevenson: Killed the ball in the minors but can't hit MLB pitching! Just another Miguel Sano!
Alex Kirilloff: Made an error at first base! Always injured! Never lived up to the hype! Just another Miguel Sano!
Royce, Lewis,: Third baseman who's always hurt! Gets away with it because he's overhyped! Just another Miguel Sano!
Joey Gallo: *enters cardiac arrest*
Edited by Greggory Masterson
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