Twins Video
1. Fargo – Fargo is a city in southeastern North Dakota, population of 120,000. The Coen brothers didn’t help matters, but for clarification… Fargo does have a few people who end sentences with “there” or “then” and a few people who say “You Betcha” “Don’tcha” “Didya” “Darn Tootin” “It could be Worse” and “Holy Buckets” but those are only the people who can communicate effectively in Fargo. The rest primarily use grunts and hand signals to communicate, for example, when they want to turn right… they stick out their left hand… and then they turn left. I know it sounds crazy but it seems to work for them.
2. Our Twins – The Twins haven’t had a day off in a while. Before they hit the All-Star break… it will be 21 games in 20 straight days. According to the Department of Labor… an employer who requires or permits an employee to work overtime is generally required to pay the employee premium pay for such overtime work… at least one and one-half times their regular rates of pay. As a result… the Twins will have to cut Joe Mauer to budget the overage caused by the excessive overtime. Joe hasn’t been informed of this yet so please keep it to yourself.
3. The Orioles – We did play these guys in Baltimore earlier this season and we swept them at home. It was sarcastically nice that Zach Britton has been removed from the disabled list just in time to face us but we could always hope that he is still somewhat injured. No matter what you think of the Orioles… you can’t deny that they hit the long ball. If you look at the roster construction you’d assume that this was done intentionally. You don’t sign Chris Davis and Mark Trumbo while attempting to build a team full of speed and defense.
4. Today’s Joe M Conversation:
Montana: Hey, guys… give me a beer. It’s been a long day at the courthouse.
McCarthy: Are you getting sued by the Bengals again?
Montana: No… the Statue of Limitations is up.
Maddon: Statute… that's statute of limitations… not statue of limitations.
Montana: No… I meant statue… it's up now. The pigeons seem to love it.
Mauer: Why were you at the courthouse?
Montana: Jury duty.
Maddon: What’s the case about?
Montana: I can’t discuss it… I was sworn to secrecy.
McCarthy: He can’t discuss the case.
Montana: Yeah, they really swear at you… a steady stream of four-letter words shouted at you until you promise not to discuss the case.
McCarthy: Jurors have to be sworn in… standard procedure in a court of law. Witnesses must be sworn in… to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Maddon: And lawyers… they need to be sworn in as well?
McCarthy: Not lawyers… they can lie all they want… it's cool.
5. It Goes Without Saying – My wife pulled that line out last night. She said, “It goes without saying… you will have to cancel that fishing trip this weekend because Aunt Gladys is coming to town."
She doesn’t have to say it… if it goes without saying and if she doesn’t say it… like she shouldn’t because it goes without saying… well… then… it goes without saying that I will the miss the visit by Aunt Gladys because I will be fishing.







Recommended Comments