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Terry Ryan sitting at home watching the playoffs


notoriousgod71

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Posted

I might be mistaken, but the two biggest transactions that Ryan has made since he came back involved bringing in Alex Meyer and Trevor May, two starting pitchers who struck out more than one batter per inning in 2013.

Posted
Still doesn't believe in strikeout pitchers.

 

(Intercom)

Secretary: Ron Gardenhire Line 4

(Terry Ryan picks up phone)

Ryan: Hello Ron... How are things in Little Canada.

Gardy: I'm actually in Canada this week.

Ryan: Why Canada?

Gardy: No reason at all... I took a wrong turn and crashed through a checkpoint... There will probably be something in the paper about it. Don't believe what you read tomorrow... It was accidental. Anyway... The reason I'm calling... I've been working on some research. Interesting stuff... Its early in my analysis but... It turns out that pitchers who can strike batters out is a good thing. A.J Burnett, Ubaldo and Tim Lincecum are 3 guys who can do that sort of thing. We could get them for about 15 million... 3 to 4 years... 45 to 60 million.

Ryan: That is solid research you are doing and my guys like all 3 of them. We've been kicking around 20 million a year to bring them in if that's what it takes. Hold on... (Pause)

 

(Back on intercom)

Ryan: If Ron is on line 4... Who is on line 1,2 and 3?

Secretary: your wife is on line 1... Seth Stohs is on line 2... Jim Pohlad is on line 3.

Ryan: They've been on hold all this time?

Secretary: Well... Yeah... You can only take one phone call at a time.

 

(Back on Phone)

Ryan: Ron... I'm gonna put you on hold.

(punches another line)

Ryan: Seth.. I apologize for keeping you on hold (dial tone)

 

(back on intercom)

Call Seth Stohs back... Sincerely apologize and send him Cubans for the inconvenience.

 

(Punches another line)

Ryan: Hey Jim... Sorry to keep you waiting... It's busy here.

Jim: Sounds like it... I was just calling for an update on your plans going forward.

Ryan: Going good... We have zeroed in on Burnett, Jimenez and Lincecum... We figure they will cost about 20 Million each.

Jim: That's 60 Million... Umm... Nope I don't think so... Well I was just checking in... Keep up the good work and Keep me posted as you go along.

 

(punches another line)

Ryan: Sorry bout that Ron

Gardy: It's Ok... Your busy... So what did you think about my idea? Strikeout Pitchers for 2014

 

(Intercom)

Secretary: Seth Stohs Line 2

 

Ryan: Ron I gotta go... Strikeout pitchers... Nope I don't believe in them.

 

(punches another line)

Ryan: Seth how you doing? Are you coming out to the cabin next week. Standing invitation as always.

Posted
Scherzer Schmerzer... If pitching to contact means throwing thigh-high, middle-in fastballs to David Ortiz, then by golly, that's what we need to do.......... Benoit is a free agent if I'm not mistaken!?!?

 

We could get a king's ransom for Perkins if Detroit could trade for him today.

Posted
We could get a king's ransom for Perkins if Detroit could trade for him today.

 

Are you kidding? It's the off-season. Perkins is out of shape by now - probably has a fifteen pound beer gut from playing cards and xbox with his buddies that he'll have to work off next January and February. :)

Posted
Are you kidding? It's the off-season. Perkins is out of shape by now - probably has a fifteen pound beer gut from playing cards and xbox with his buddies that he'll have to work off next January and February. :)

 

 

His wife needs to get him on her running program ASAP. :)

Guest USAFChief
Guests
Posted
Are you kidding? It's the off-season. Perkins is out of shape by now - probably has a fifteen pound beer gut from playing cards and xbox with his buddies that he'll have to work off next January and February. :)
great. Just great. Now every GM in the league knows.
Posted
great. Just great. Now every GM in the league knows.

 

Thanks a heap. I purposely put the smiley face on there so that the many GMs who read this site would think I was kidding. Now they know my info was legit.

Guest USAFChief
Guests
Posted
Thanks a heap. I purposely put the smiley face on there so that the many GMs who read this site would think I was kidding. Now they know my info was legit.

If they didn't before, they do now.

Posted
I might be mistaken, but the two biggest transactions that Ryan has made since he came back involved bringing in Alex Meyer and Trevor May, two starting pitchers who struck out more than one batter per inning in 2013.

 

In the minors.

 

And his biggest transactions in the majors as far as pitching goes was to re-sign Capps (and lose a couple draft picks) and sign Correia and Pelfrey.

 

Nice

Posted
Are you kidding? It's the off-season. Perkins is out of shape by now - probably has a fifteen pound beer gut from playing cards and xbox with his buddies that he'll have to work off next January and February. :)

 

Haha. I knew you were kidding.

I saw him at the gym yesterday, and the beach the day before. Yeah, he was helping people pull their boats out of the water.

 

I tried to tell him what great shape he looked to be in, but he just kept saying nice things about some guy named Dave Dombrowski.

Posted
In the minors.

 

And his biggest transactions in the majors as far as pitching goes was to re-sign Capps (and lose a couple draft picks) and sign Correia and Pelfrey.

 

Nice

 

And what should he have done?

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