Judging Dick Bremer's Ties

[bashbury]

In the 12th inning of last night's game against the Mariners, Bert and Dick launched into a fascinating, fascinating discussion of Dick's ties.  When Dick announced that he never wears the same tie twice in a season, Bert scoffed, asking "You think people are out there judging your tie?" Real estate is cheap on the internet and someone must undertake this labor.  Circle me Bert, I am judging ties.

 

May 21 DET @ MIN

It's neat that you could find a matching pocket square, but that tie shouldn't exist in the first place, Dick.  The red and blue patterns on the ocher background looks like you should have worn a bib when you had that chicken curry for lunch.  The ocher color really doesn't work for your skin tone, or basically anyone's.  Skin tones may be the best way to illustrate this awful color: next time you're picking out a tie Dick, ask yourself, "Would I wear Donald Trump's spray tan around my neck?" That should tame your worst impulses.

 

Grade: D-.  It's an ocher tie, what did you think would happen? OCHER! TIE!

[bashbury]

May 22 DET @ MIN

 

After yesterday's disaster, congratulations Dick, that is a fine tie.  It would be a staple of any man's closet.  It doesn't truly impress, but it gets nothing wrong.  The light blue will go with most any shirt and the small patterned shapes won't clash with anything.  I don't have any jokes because this tie is nothing to joke about.

 

Grade: A-.

[bashbury]

May 23 DET @ MIN

 

No suits, no ties.  Casual Wednesday? The length of the sleeves on that polo makes me cringe, but we'll have to save that for the Judging Dick Bremer's Shirts topic.  Or can we pretend the microphone is a tie? If so, the black tie is a nice combination with that bright blue shirt.  But the huge company-branded tie pin is tacky.  Also: what sort of nervous weirdo holds their tie like a microphone?

 

Grade: Forgot to sign up for class.

[bashbury]

May 24
No Twins game, so we'll assume that Dick went cas/cazh/caj* (or however you spell that that guy-who-just-bought-a-boat abbreviation for "casual" the Dick used on the 26th) with no tie.  Maybe an ascot for days off?

 

*http://www.slate.com/blogs/lexicon_valley/2015/02/12/casual_abbreviation_do_you_spell_it_cajzh_caszh_caj_cas_or_with_the_voiced.html

[bashbury]

May 25 MIN @ SEA

 

Never been a fan of contrast collar shirts.  Stop tempting me to start a shirt-judging topic, Dick!  For now the shirt is out of bounds, but complementing the rest of the outfit is a central function of a tie.  The shirt and tie combo is fair game and fairly wow.  In a vacuum, this tie isn't bad.  Purple and gold is a royal combination, or maybe Dick was just cruising the University of Washington campus.  The pattern generates interest, but too much interest for many shirts. And Dick chose maybe the worst possible shirt paring: chaotic pattern on dense stripes, purple on medium blue, white collar on top of all that.  The overall look is Bill Lumbergh from Office Space going to gamble a few dollars at Monte Carlo.  The one in Vegas.  Not the one in Europe.

 

Grade: C+, if he finds a normal person shirt to wear it with.

[bashbury]

May 26 MIN @ SEA

 

Dick said he bought this tie on the Seattle roadtrip.  Perhaps he was inspired by the weather? A grey tie with subtle stripes is just about the polar opposite of yesterday's gaudy number.  It's a decent tie, but it will have the tendency to fade into nothingness.  Especially if you wear a grey suit that's only a few shades darker, Dick.  Basically, if you look better when you remove a tie, don't wear it in the first place.

 

 

Grade: C- until the tie actually did fade into nothingness.  C+ when he's "caszjh".

[USAFChief]

Impressive work.

 

Concur, mostly, on the tie grades, too.

 

The sleeve length on polo shirt comment is way off, though. To the elbow, at least.

[Squirrel]

I think your grades are biased in that you likely don’t like ties yourself. That said I do agree on the grade of the first tie. You do realize that the matching pocket square wasn’t a lucky find. It was probably a hand-made tie and the pocket square was sold with the tie or in the same tie shop. Despite the unfortunate color, it probably cost well more than either you or I make in an hour.

 

I like the blue tie a lot. But I also like the grey tie as much. But it doesn’t look grey to me. It almost looks like a greyish lavender. It’s subtly very nice.

 

The length of his shirt sleeves depends on one thing only ... should he be covering his arms. Since I can’t see his arms, I can’t determine whether or not the length was a good thing or not. No grade on that until more information is provided. (And please don’t post more information by posting a photo of Dick shirtless or in a tank or your posting privileges may end up in serious jeopardy.)

[bashbury]

 

Impressive work.

Concur, mostly, on the tie grades, too.

The sleeve length on polo shirt comment is way off, though. To the elbow, at least.

Yuck.  A quick sample, which do you think looks better?

Or:

Even if the lower photo is more "modeled", it's a sloppier look.  Maybe it's personal preference, but I've never had to borrow my big brother's shirts so I just can't get used to all that sleeve flapping around.

[USAFChief]

It’s a rigged competition.

 

The bottom photo shows two buttons buttoned on a polo. TWO! Auto-fail.

[ashbury]

Yuck.  A quick sample, which do you think looks better?

I'd split the difference. First guy looks like he's ready to hand down his outgrown shirt to his brother.

[Badsmerf]

I like the gray tie the best. That blue tie gets a b from be. Solid, but doesn't do anything particularly well. The gray tie with the suit looks really sharp. The gray gets an A-.

[Squirrel]

Yuck. A quick sample, which do you think looks better?

Or:

Even if the lower photo is more "modeled", it's a sloppier look. Maybe it's personal preference, but I've never had to borrow my big brother's shirts so I just can't get used to all that sleeve flapping around.

I don’t mind the length of either. However, the bottom look loses points with me because the shirt, over all, looks too big, it’s just not fitted well.

 

I agree with Ash in the top one ... looks like it’s ready to be handed down. But I like the shoes.

 

Basically, neither shirt works because the fit on both is a fail. And it’s not about sleeve length.

[bashbury]

 

I think your grades are biased in that you likely don’t like ties yourself. That said I do agree on the grade of the first tie. You do realize that the matching pocket square wasn’t a lucky find. It was probably a hand-made tie and the pocket square was sold with the tie or in the same tie shop. Despite the unfortunate color, it probably cost well more than either you or I make in an hour.

I like the blue tie a lot. But I also like the grey tie as much. But it doesn’t look grey to me. It almost looks like a greyish lavender. It’s subtly very nice.

The length of his shirt sleeves depends on one thing only ... should he be covering his arms. Since I can’t see his arms, I can’t determine whether or not the length was a good thing or not. No grade on that until more information is provided. (And please don’t post more information by posting a photo of Dick shirtless or in a tank or your posting privileges may end up in serious jeopardy.)

I'll have you know that I own eighteen handpicked ties and wish I could wear them more often. I just wish Dick would choose his better.

 

To your last point, I have some evidence that Dick shouldn't be ashamed to show his arms. Things got crazy in extra innings last night.  Bert didn't look impressed, but maybe he's seen it before.

 

Who needs posting privileges anyway? 

[Squirrel]

I'll have you know that I own eighteen handpicked ties and wish I could wear them more often. I just wish Dick would choose his better.

 

To your last point, I have some evidence that Dick shouldn't be ashamed to show his arms. Things got crazy in extra innings last night. Bert didn't look impressed, but maybe he's seen it before.

shirtless.jpg

 

Who needs posting privileges anyway?

Yeah, I have the same look on my face right now as Bert does in that photo.

 

Oh, and ick.

[ashbury]

Yeah, I have the same look on my face right now as Bert does in that photo.

 

Oh, and ick.

[Mike Sixel]

I like the way ties look. I hate, hate, hate, wearing one.

[bashbury]

May 27 MIN @ SEA

 

Lots of strong opinions out there. Let's make this one a group effort. How do you rate this tie, you lot of long (sleeve) lovin', having to wear ties hate-hate-hating, shades of grey fans? 

[Squirrel]

It’s difficult to truly judge from a photo. I want to see how well it’s made and feel the fabric. But I like the color and I’m a fan of paisley prints, while I know most people are not. I’d give it a B+. I like the blue and the grey better, but this is most definitely above average.

[Squirrel]

 

 

 

Amazing how you left part of the description out of your photo that says nothing of sleeve length when determining the correctness in choosing a properly fitting polo shirt ...

 

 

But I was right about the fit of the 2nd photo. It was too big. Had it fit properly the sleeves may have ended up being an inch or two shorter.

 

 

 

Thanks go to Ashbury for the refuting photo.

[Badsmerf]

May 27 MIN @ SEA

0527.jpg

 

Lots of strong opinions out there. Let's make this one a group effort. How do you rate this tie, you lot of long (sleeve) lovin', having to wear ties hate-hate-hating, shades of grey fans?

 

I don't really like the red, blue, and black combination. The tie by itself is ok. I'm not a huge fan of that style, but it isn't terrible. In combination with the outfit I give it a C+.

[Otto von Ballpark]

Never been a fan of contrast collar shirts.

"That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant" -- Bryan Colangelo (or wife?)

[Squirrel]

 

"That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant" -- Bryan Colangelo (or wife?)

Heh ... I don't mind contrast collar shirts ... but not with a suit or with a tie ... just wear them plain or with a sports coat.

[ashbury]

Heh ... I don't mind contrast collar shirts ... but not with a suit or with a tie

It was a CEO look for about 6 weeks in the, what, 1990s?

[Otto von Ballpark]

It was a CEO look for about 6 weeks in the, what, 1990s?

[ashbury]

1s7y17.jpg

It did filter its way down through the management chain, didn't it?

[Squirrel]

 

1s7y17.jpg

Okay ... ick ... that is a seriously bad look, all around. Seriously bad.

[ashbury]

Okay ... ick ... that is a seriously bad look, all around. Seriously bad.

That was part of the joke in that movie, I suppose.