In the 12th inning of last night's game against the Mariners, Bert and Dick launched into a fascinating, fascinating discussion of Dick's ties. When Dick announced that he never wears the same tie twice in a season, Bert scoffed, asking "You think people are out there judging your tie?" Real estate is cheap on the internet and someone must undertake this labor. Circle me Bert, I am judging ties. May 21 DET @ MIN It's neat that you could find a matching pocket square, but that tie shouldn't exist in the first place, Dick. The red and blue patterns on the ocher background looks like you should have worn a bib when you had that chicken curry for lunch. The ocher color really doesn't work for your skin tone, or basically anyone's. Skin tones may be the best way to illustrate this awful color: next time you're picking out a tie Dick, ask yourself, "Would I wear Donald Trump's spray tan around my neck?" That should tame your worst impulses. Grade: D-. It's an ocher tie, what did you think would happen? OCHER! TIE!