Game Thread: Twins v Angels, 9/7 @ 1:10pm CT

[stringer bell]

Well, Achter and Oliveros showing that there is a difference between Triple A and the major leagues. Angels are rolling right now, and the Twins put up resistance for three games, but it looks like there is no hope today.

[glunn]

I wonder what the record is for 90+ losing seasons in a row.

[Bark's Lounge]

Hello. My name is Bark and I am addicted to pain and suffering.

 

Before 2011, I was a cutter and I liked to use a pliers to pull out my finger nails and toe nails. Sometimes I would use a punch and a hammer and tap out some of my teeth.

 

In 2011, I found out that by being a fan of the Twins and watching their games, I did not have to do those aforementioned things anymore... the Twins would be more than enough to fill that sensation that I desperately needed.

 

This year I realized I hit rock bottom, when instead of going to a Monster Truck Rally with some meth heads I met at a strip club, I choose to go home and watch a Twins game.

 

Thanks for hearing me out and I am very appreciative to have found a masochist support group I can rely on.

[Craig Arko]

I wonder what the record is for 90+ losing seasons in a row.

Gleeman can probably point you in the right direction.

 

http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/07/10/is-ron-gardenhire-the-rare-manager-who-wont-get-fired-after-three-straight-90-loss-seasons/

[ashbury]

The seasons were shorter, setting the bar at a different level, but in thirties and forties there were teams that entered each season for years on end without a ray of hope of contending.  Phillies, Browns, ... the list goes on, it really was The Rich Get Richer back then.

 

Connie Mack would tear his teams apart when players would get too expensive.  (Sound familiar?)  The 1935-1943 A's lost 90 every year, including some 100+ loss stinkers, for a streak of 9. They broke the streak by going 72-82 in 1944, then went back to their old ways with seasons of 98 and 105 losses.

 

I won't dig further to confirm whether nobody else has exceeded this.   But our current tale of woe pales in comparison to Ye Bad Olde Days.

[ashbury]

Hello. My name is Bark and I am addicted to pain and suffering.

 

Before 2011, I was a cutter and I liked to use a pliers to pull out my finger nails and toe nails. Sometimes I would use a punch and a hammer and tap out some of my teeth.

 

In 2011, I found out that by being a fan of the Twins and watching their games, I did not have to do those aforementioned things anymore... the Twins would be more than enough to fill that sensation that I desperately needed.

 

This year I realized I hit rock bottom, when instead of going to a Monster Truck Rally with some meth heads I met at a strip club, I choose to go home and watch a Twins game.

 

Thanks for hearing me out and I am very appreciative to have found a masochist support group I can rely on.

"Hi Bark."

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Hello. My name is Bark and I am addicted to pain and suffering.

 

 

I'm addicted to sane and puffering - um, i mean spoonerisms.

 

And it's still baseball.  There's some cliche about it not mattering if you win or lose, but how you play the game.

 

Vargas just hit another home run!

[ashbury]

Vargas just hit another home run!

So, what's the Over-Under on meaningless runs in the bottom of the ninth?  I'll suggest 0.5, and take the Over.

[glunn]

If the Twins could manage to lose every remaining game, they could get to 101 losses and perhaps the #2 draft pick.  Maybe we need that pick to get a pitcher who can come up fast and make a difference, or some other player who can help fairly soon.

[LaBombo]

It's kind of like the Vikings marketing department came up with a script for this game designed to make the 'conflicts' between their games and the Twins' irrelevant...

[ashbury]

So, what's the Over-Under on meaningless runs in the bottom of the ninth?  I'll suggest 0.5, and take the Over.

http://www.focusst.org/forum/attachments/rallysport-direct/23252d1382622971-disappointed-daybreakers_i_am_disappoint.jpg

[snepp]

Did they forget the pitching staff at the hotel this morning?

[LaBombo]

I wonder what the record is for 90+ losing seasons in a row.

 

The question the Twins front office should be increasingly answerable to is 'How many non-expansion managers of four consecutive 90+ loss seasons since WWII have been allowed to return for another season.'

 

That answer is one.  Subtract the managers with two World Series rings and the answer is zero.

[LaBombo]

Did they forget the pitching staff at the hotel this morning?

No, just their stuff.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Did they forget the pitching staff at the hotel this morning?

Do they use hotels for home games? 

Don't know much about MLB logistics, but that could be their first problem.

[LaBombo]

Do they use hotels for home games? 

Don't know much about MLB logistics, but that could be their first problem.

Probably not, but like Matt Damon's flight attendant joke in Good Will Hunting working better in the first person, snepp's bit works partly on artistic license.  Sort of like when most standup comics do jokes about girlfriends they don't have.

[snepp]

Probably not, but like Matt Damon's flight attendant joke in Good Will Hunting working better in the first person, snepp's bit works partly on artistic license.  Sort of like when most standup comics do jokes about girlfriends they don't have.

 

I fully endorse this rationale.

 

 

As does my imaginary girlfriend.

[ashbury]

 Sort of like when most TD posters do jokes about girlfriends they don't have.

Fixed.

 

_{^{/ snepp kind of beat me to the punch}}

[ashbury]

No, just their stuff.

"Shoot.  Skip, I just noticed, I left my stuff at the hotel."  Filing this one for future good use.

[LaBombo]

"Shoot.  Skip, I just noticed, I left my stuff at the hotel."  Filing this one for future good use.

They probably all had their junk, but based on the box score, apparently nobody had their stuff besides maybe Duensing or whoever pitched the ninth that I didn't watch in much the same way as the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and all but the last two outs of the eighth that I didn't watch.

 

The lineup says Pinto caught, which for me more than makes up for a crappy team losing by a touchdown and a field goal on Sunday of NFL's week one.

[Craig Arko]

"Shoot.  Skip, I just noticed, I left my stuff at the hotel."  Filing this one for future good use.

Closely related to "Skip, I just noticed, I lost my junk at the hotel."

[ashbury]

Closely related to "Skip, I just noticed, I lost my junk at the hotel."

"Please, son, I don't want to hear about your junk.  None of us does."

[Platoon]

Hello. My name is Bark and I am addicted to pain and suffering.

 

Before 2011, I was a cutter and I liked to use a pliers to pull out my finger nails and toe nails. Sometimes I would use a punch and a hammer and tap out some of my teeth.

 

In 2011, I found out that by being a fan of the Twins and watching their games, I did not have to do those aforementioned things anymore... the Twins would be more than enough to fill that sensation that I desperately needed.

 

This year I realized I hit rock bottom, when instead of going to a Monster Truck Rally with some meth heads I met at a strip club, I choose to go home and watch a Twins game.

 

Thanks for hearing me out and I am very appreciative to have found a masochist support group I can rely on.

You left the strip club??

[Bark's Lounge]

Closely related to "Skip, I just noticed, I lost my junk at the hotel."

That's nothing a shot, a shower, or some pills can't fix.

[Platoon]

It just dawned on me, I am watching this on TIVO. that's more embarrassing than getting home from the mn state baseball tourney, and finding I went to the game with my t shirt on inside out!

[LaBombo]

It just dawned on me, I am watching this on TIVO. that's more embarrassing than getting home from the mn state baseball tourney, and finding I went to the game with my t shirt on inside out!

No worries.  Wardrobe malfunctions reduced from felony to misdemeanor after that 'Super' Bowl thing.  And context aside, it's ok as long as you didn't watch your offspring (no, not The Offspring) step to the plate with the score tied in the 9th and yell 'This is your time to shine!'

[LaBombo]

You left the strip club??

He checked out.  But he can never leave...

[LaBombo]

If the Twins could manage to lose every remaining game, they could get to 101 losses and perhaps the #2 draft pick. 

Another Twins season ends with the faithful challenged to dream big...

 

Not arguin', just sayin'.

[Bark's Lounge]

You left the strip club??

No - and because I was working. I am a stripper. Just because my site name is Bark's Lounge does not mean I am a man. I am a woman, and a fine woman at that. Everyday, except for Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I have to deal with pig like men who objectify me and wish I would go home with them. Any man who goes to a strip club and asks a worker out is screwed up up... mostly in a not personal safety kind of way, but why take your chances? Those kind of guys are creeps.

 

On my off time, I take care of my 13 and 10 year old children and watch episodes of the Walking Dead, House of Cards and True Detective, when their dead beat dad takes them. I often go see a random original band at a local club or study a dictionary.

 

I like being alone. Not looking for any dates.

[LaBombo]

Not looking for any dates.

That's when/where you find the best ones.

 

Transgender logistical issues aside, your life is a moral beacon to TD posters everywhere...

 

If that's possible.

 

And I can't imagine how it is.

 

But in fairness to that confusion conclusion, it didn't occur to me until pulling out of the parking spot outside the theater eons ago (well, an eon, anyway) that Nat Portman was both the servant and the princess in whichever Star Wars sequel we were supposed to feign surprise that she was both the servant and the princess.