Pohlads ‘Furious’ at Not Being Able to Trade Commercial Real Estate Holdings

A disappointing post-All-Star-break record led the Minnesota Twins to make a remarkable number of transactions this week. Most notably, they traded elite closer Jhoan Duran to Philadelphia for two top Phillies prospects and sent shortstop Carlos Correa back to Houston.

While the team waving the white flag for 2025 might upset some fans, sources say the current team ownership is even angrier. Just not in the way you’d think.

“If we can trade players for cheaper players and, even better, cash money, why can’t we trade these stupid [EXPLETIVE] buildings,” said a memo from the Pohlad family to Derek Falvey and the entire front office that was shared with Twins Daily. “You can’t tell me the Dodgers don’t want a nice retirement community in Woodbury for when Brock Stewart gets injured again. It has a hot tub.”

The terse internal memo, littered with uncharacteristically colorful language for team correspondence, arrives as the Pohlads are attempting to sell the franchise for a reported $1.7 billion. While that would almost certainly alleviate any harm from a soft commercial real estate market, that money isn’t here yet. Another section, directed at Twins president of baseball and business operations Derek Falvey, made that uncomfortably clear.

“You know who doesn’t have a no-trade clause, Derek? Buildings. You know who doesn’t have a union rep busting your [EXPLETIVE] about paid paternity leave, Derek? Buildings. You know what has a vacancy rate of 95 [EXPLETIVE] percent that no one’s paying the [EXPLETIVE] rent on, Derek? Buildings. Let’s think outside the box here.”

By the end of Thursday's action, the Twins had traded Duran, Correa, Stewart, Griffin Jax, Louis Varland, Danny Coulombe, Chris Paddack, Randy Dobnak, Ty France and Harrison Bader, all in return for prospects.

“Prospects are great, but what’s even better is a mixed-use seven-story building in Richfield that isn’t our [EXPLETIVE] problem anymore. Ask that goofball from the Mets [billionaire owner Steve Cohen] if he’ll take that and Willi Castro for a briefcase full of twenties.”

The Pohlads, who spend summer Thursdays playing croquet with human mallets at their country estate in Switzerland, were unavailable to comment on the memo.

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