Twins President Derek Falvey Clearly Thought MLB Winter Meetings Were Supposed To Start Next Week

[Lou Hennessy]

The Twins’ President of Baseball and Business Operations (POBABO) has the tough assignment of trying to improve his ballclub while sticking to the financial limitations set by the team’s ownership. But now, it looks even harder, as a scheduling snafu has left him flustered, flabbergasted and flummoxed by his first ever tardy. 

Image courtesy of Purple Wolf Graphics

A shaggy, disheveled Derek Falvey sprinted through the lobby of the Hilton Anatole Hotel in Dallas late on Monday morning, leaving many attendees at the baseball’s biggest offseason attraction to come to the same conclusion: The Twins’ top decision-maker forgot which day the MLB Winter Meetings were to begin.

“It was very odd to see Derek trudging into the meetings with his shirt untucked like that,” said MLB Insider Jon Heyman. “And was he wearing mismatched shoes?”

Falvey has always been known as an organized, thoughtful and timely executive who prepares for these crucial meetings as much as anyone else in the game. But since the departure of his longtime front office partner, former general manager Thad Levine, things just haven’t been the same for the Twins’ top shot-caller.

“I gotta come clean, Thad usually handled my scheduling for these things and I’m still working through some growing pains since he left,” Falvey said as he buzzed an electric razor across his scruffy face in the hotel lobby restroom. “And honestly, I haven’t been sleeping well without Thad’s signature hot cocoa and bedtime stories routine. Call me old-fashioned, I guess.”

This year’s Winter Meetings could be quite consequential for his ballclub, as the Twins will need to address a currently unbalanced payroll situation while shuffling the deck enough to avoid another brutal late-season collapse. Witnesses say Falvey tripped over a trash can on his way into the main ballroom, sending sheets of documents soaring to the floor around him. They say these documents had titles ranging from “No fastball? No problem!” to “Should the Twins sign Miguel Sano?”

Falvey then gathered his scattered pages and looked at the stunned attendees around him.

“Mondays, am I right?” he shouted nervously, as he shrugged his shoulders, then sprinted out of sight. 

Shortly afterward, he addressed the local contingent of media members in the Twins’ war room. He was wearing a new set of clothes, and while they weren’t a wrinkled mess like the duds he rolled in with, they were clearly his casual attire stuffed into his bag haphazardly and with little thought. 

“Sorry everyone, I haven’t had my coffee today,” Falvey said as he donned an XXXL Spider-Man T-shirt that was clearly meant to be a pajama top. “But trust me, everything is under control.”

Just then, his briefcase fell to the ground and sprung open, but there was nothing inside, save a couple of pens and a live moth that proceeded to flutter away. Nevertheless, the Twins’ president wanted to talk shop, whether he was ready for it or not. One by one, reporters brought up notable topics such as free agent targets, possible trade chips and the rest of the winter meeting events planned for the next few days.

“Free agency? Yeah yeah yeah we’re totally keeping up-to-date with everything. You know I’ll be the first to know when, uh, what’s-his-name signs,” he said while snapping his fingers to jog his memory. “Solo! I’m very tuned-in to the Juan Solo sweepstakes.”

When one of the media members notified him that Juan Soto had agreed to a historic $765 million contract with the New York Mets the night before, Falvey blushed and quickly changed the topic. 

“Look, I know our payroll has been a hot topic recently, but let me assure you that Joe and the Pohlad family have given me the green light to proceed how I see fit,” Falvey said while patting each of his pockets. “Well, you’ll just have to take my word for it, because I left my phone at home.”

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[Brandon27]

Twins are not going sign no big namers ,make trades or select anyone from rule 5 draft durning winter meetings. They probably won't do anything until mid January or start of spring training 

[Blyleven2011]

I'd agree with Brandon,  what's the hurry all about when your not going to sign or trade anyone until after the new year  ...

If this is really true though and he was late getting to the meetings , it's another reason to not cut falvey any slack  ...

Did anyone notice in the interview that he has dyed his hair to cover the gray ??? , maybe that's why he was late ,  going to his hair dresser ...

 

[MGM4706]

Would be funny if it was not so close to the truth!

Since the Pohlads claim to love the city and the fans so much and that it has been such a privilege to own the team over the years (When those fans paid for a big chunk of the Stadium) why not go out with a bang and sign a couple big name deals to two year deals? Go up to 200 million a year for payroll for two years.

That would be a nice thank you to the taxpayers who funded the stadium but still not burden the new owners with long term debt!

It would more than be covered by the increased value of the Club that the stadium will provide during the sale negotiations!

[lukeduke1980]

20 hours ago, Blyleven2011 said:

I'd agree with Brandon,  what's the hurry all about when your not going to sign or trade anyone until after the new year  ...

If this is really true though and he was late getting to the meetings , it's another reason to not cut falvey any slack  ...

Did anyone notice in the interview that he has dyed his hair to cover the gray ??? , maybe that's why he was late ,  going to his hair dresser ...

 

Hair dresser is not in the budget.  Comb away the gray

[bean5302]

5 hours ago, MGM4706 said:

...That would be a nice thank you to the taxpayers who funded the stadium...

I think the biggest thing I'd want when funding a stadium with public money is a guarantee the games must be available to the general public for free. It's abhorrent to ask the public to fund something, then tell them they have to pay to use it, too. Just like my seething hatred of toll roads.

[bean5302]

I'm sure the Twins made a "competitive offer" to Soto and a bunch of other big name free agents. They just couldn't make a deal work, LOL.