Does anyone know why Bert Blyleven doesn't travel to Detroit?

[snepp]

And he did not miss it.

 

 

http://twinsdaily.com/minnesota-twins-talk/2531-blylevenisms.html?highlight=blylevenisms

 

Perfect time to pull this one back out.

[glanzer]

Bert is one of the coolest former players I've met! He once sent me a hand-written birthday card for submitting something to a telecast back in 1997 or thereabouts. When I met him at TwinsFest he was so chatty I was actually the one to end the conversation. However, with my MLB.TV subscription, I find myself flipping the audio over to the radio more and more often lately.

[LaBombo]

growing up, my alltime fav is still WGNs Steve Stone/Harry Carey as they could be as big a cheerleaders as anyone, but wouldnt hesitate to criticize the team if they needed to.

Set my level for announcers pretty high.

Spent a month of the 89 season in a cast, far from the midwest, and only baseball on TV was Braves or Cubs, so pretty much Cubs. Harry set the league record for random announcer tangents that season.

 

Steve: "The Cubs are running out of time to rally, with the bottom of the order due up and Dibble warming up in the pen"

Harry: "Dibble spelled backward is 'ElDib'!

Steve: "However you spell it, he's spelled trouble for the Cubs this..."

Harry, interrupting: "I'm sorry, that would be ElBid!"

 

And of course after asking the producer for 'another shot of that honey in the tube top', Harry helpfully offered the observation that "The guy she's with is not that good lookin'!".

 

Always watched a few Cubs game every season after that, for as long as he was on the air.

[Badsmerf]

I think most people who have listened to alternatives around the league realize Blyleven is easily in the top half of all color guys.

I'm in complete agreement. I've watched (tried to watch) many games around the country in the last few years and I'd have to say DickBert are pretty damn good. They are apart of the Twins media machine, but I can get past that. The small things like bunting with 2 outs for Bert or psuedo home run calls that fall at the warning track for Dick are just part of who they are. You get the whole package when someone talks for 3 hours a night, almost every night. I think these two are pretty low on the list of things the Twins need to improve.

[Riverbrian]

Back to the original question:

 

Here are some possible reasons Bert doesn't travel to Detroit.

 

10. He's afraid of Lions and Tigers and Wolverines.

9. Detroit smells like an Sumo wrestler who hasn't showered since February.

8. Ted Nugent threatened to use him for bow hunting practice.

7. He was tragically disappointed when Eminem wasn't a delicious chocolate treat.

6. He can't turn down panhandlers and he runs out of money.

5. He's vowed to never be North of Canada... South of Canada and actually in Canada is OK.

4. The Penobscot Building looks like the haunted building in Ghostbusters.

3. He has Piston Pants... He has Piston Shorts... He has Piston Cups and he's embarrassed about it.

2. Detroit has been over run with Crips and he is a Blood.

 

And the number one reason Bert Blyleven doesn't go to Detroit...

 

1. He can't find a decent rental car.

[raindog]

My attitude towards Bert reached an all-time low after the "cybermetrics" conversations earlier this year. However, most of the time I realize he's better than most. It's insane how many terrible broadcasters there are.

 

If any of you have ever gotten to listen to Jim Deshaies, it's a real pleasure. Best color man around.

[diehardtwinsfan]

Do you know anybody in their right mind who DOES want to go to Detroit?

 

Glad someone said it.

[fairweather]

Have you been to Detroit? It's like a third world country!

[fairweather]

Bert's OK in my book, but I like *******s. Dick is the one that bothers me. They should have one guy who tells it like it is and Bert could be the Homer. A little light banter might make the broadcast more enjoyable.