Article: Series Preview: Twins vs Mets, 4/12

[Willihammer]

Hey Pedro, remember to get a cup of coffee with your cup of coffee, they're free tonight!

[one_eyed_jack]

Why did the Vanimal cross the road?

 

To retrieve the ball from the home run he gave up earlier in the evening, which finally landed just now?

[Willihammer]

Why did the Vanimal cross the road?

 

To get to Popeyes?

[ashbury]

Why did the Vanimal cross the road?

 

To lay an egg at Target Field.

 

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy pulls his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar. "Pitch for Worley," he tells her.

[Riverbrian]

Vanimal walks into a bar... The Priest and Rabbi Ducked...

 

Horse walks into a bar... Vanimal is tending bar and asks why the long face. Horse say evolutionary design. Vanimal doesn't understand what the horse said and gives up 9 runs in 1 inning.

[ashbury]

Two cowboys are out on the range, when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He rides twenty miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says, "but here's what you do. Take a knife and cut the wound, and remove the poison with your mouth." "I ain't doin' *that*,"the cowpoke protested. "Take Vanimal with you," the sawbones says, "he sucks". Vanimal then proceeds to give up 9 runs in 1 inning, and the wounded cowboy is saved.

[Riverbrian]

Where is Glunn? He laughs at this stuff.

[MilwaukeeTwins]

Anybody else annoyed FSN couldn't bother to show a single replay of Hernandez's last pitch to see what Florimon must have seen to visit the mound? Guys in the truck head home after the 2nd or what?

[Badsmerf]

Anybody else annoyed FSN couldn't bother to show a single replay of Hernandez's last pitch to see what Florimon must have seen to visit the mound? Guys in the truck head home after the 2nd or what?

Yes. WTF.

[Willihammer]

Well SNY showed it. He sort of dipped to his right side like his ankle gave in. Just landed funky I think.

[Gibby]

I'd rather watch my daughters play volleyball than this.

[Riverbrian]

This ain't baseball... That was the worst catch of a soft toss by a SS and a top ten worst slide by Duda in one play.

[Willihammer]

Well that makes 2 tailor made double plays botched

[ashbury]

Well that makes 2 tailor made double plays botched

 

Worley with the bad start, Trevor with an error, Florimon with an error... for those of you keeping score at home, that's WTF.

[Ultima Ratio]

Why not? Good grief.

[Gibby]

A couple of grand slams and we are right back in this thing.

[Badsmerf]

**** this **** show. I'm going to watch river monsters or something.

[mikeee]

6 unearned runs....

[one_eyed_jack]

This ain't baseball....

 

---Well that's for damn sure. It's nothing remotely resembling baseball, more like watching a troop of drunk baboons trying to hump a doorknob.

[ashbury]

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Finding half a worm.

Q:What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?

A: "Now pitching, Vance Worley."

 

What's 6'2", 230 pounds, and has a great ERA?

Vance Worley, I lied about the ERA.

 

What did the Devil say to the lawyer?

"At least neither of us is Vance Worley."

 

I'm gone, g'night. Leaving the avatar up in case it brings any cheer.

[LaBombo]

Can't wait for that Willie/Boggs/Ramirez outfield on a day game after night game...

[buckninetyone]

95.5% of twins runs allowed have come with bases loaded. truefactstat.

[Gibby]

That Alabama boy doesn't look too comfortable out there.

[Gibby]

Atchison looks like he's my age.

[Willihammer]

Gary Cohen: Atchison really defines the look of a "grizzled veteran," doesn't he Keith?

 

Keith Hernandez: He needs a little Just for Men

[Willihammer]

At what point do you designate one or two of the position guys to mop up these blowouts so we can save the semi-useful guys like Duensing for games where we aren't being 10-runned?

[Gibby]

I see we have a real murder's row coming up.

[Gibby]

I get to watch my kid in the first playoff game of her pro career tomorrow. If they win, I'm heading out to Italy to watch the rest. I doubt I'll miss much with the Twins.

[Riverbrian]

I get to watch my kid in the first playoff game of her pro career tomorrow. If they win, I'm heading out to Italy to watch the rest. I doubt I'll miss much with the Twins.

 

You should explain... That's sound kinda cool.

[Gibby]

She was an All American middle blocker for the Gophers volleyball team. She now plays on the National team, and is playing pro in Italy in the off season. I spent February over there watching her, and spent last winter watching her play in Japan. Soon as the playoffs are over I get her back home for a couple weeks before she has to hit the gym in Anaheim.