Ten signs that 2013 might be another 90-loss season for the Twins

[Teflon]

10. Additional drink rails added in RF allowing fans to drown greater number of sorrows

 

9. The only MLB team premium-pricing Twins games on a 2013 schedule is the Twins.

 

8. Doctors seeking additional 2013 rehab opportunities for Minny’s and Paul’s atrophying elbow joints.

 

7. Most popular member of 2013 Twins caravan is driver, Lou, who does tricks with false teeth.

 

6. Mauer’s once Sampson-like sideburns continue to mysteriously recede.

 

5. Daffodils atop of outfield fences are removed after Twins batters complain they are interfering with potential homeruns.

 

4. In a season-long promotion, Twins honor 40^th anniversary of 1973 team that went 81-81.

 

3. Paul Molitor to check with Twins before taking any extended vacations this summer.

 

2. Kevin Correia

 

1. No additional bulbs requisitioned by stadium maintenance for middle three letters of T-W-I-N-S scoreboard sign.

[Riverbrian]

Well Done.

 

Even my Half Full sensibility laughed.

[one_eyed_jack]

Excellent work. I laughed as well, though it was tenuous laughter as this veered a little too close to the truth at times.

 

I think we'll probably need a sense of humor to get through 2013.

 

But one never knows. Look at Vikings this year. Everyone thought they'd be bad. I can't tell you how many people told me in August that they looked at the schedule and couldn't see anything better than a 4-12 finish. Yet here they are in a win-and-they're-in situation next Sunday.

[TheLeviathan]

Didn't get enough Nick Blackburn? Well then you won't be able to wait for 2013!

[James]

I have to admit that I laughed at this one. 2013 probably won't be kind to the Twins, but hopefully we start to see some of the new guys start to come up and give us hope for 2014. Well done on the list.

[NoCryingInBaseball]

I laughed, I cried....it became a part of me....

[greengoblinrulz]

"might"......?????

 

How bout, MLB will make em play 162gms!!!

[nicksaviking]

Good posting. I first read the headline and rolled my eyes thinking this would be a serious topic.

[glunn]

Well written. But I won't be surprised if the Twins lose 100 games.

[TopGunn#22]

I vote "Best Comment" to No Crying in Baseball...