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Dave The Dastardly

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Everything posted by Dave The Dastardly

  1. Dave The Dastardly
    Looks like we'll only have three hitters batting below the Mendoza Line in the lineup today instead of four like we had yesterday; Sano, Cave, Garver. Sano batting a whopping .091. Gonna have to come up with the Sano Line to define his futility. 16 strikeouts in 33 ABs. My grandmother hits better than that and she's been dead for 20 years.
  2. Dave The Dastardly
    Yeah, Simmons is great with a glove but I don't know if I can buy the superlative "unlike anything Twins fans have ever seen". I seem to recall Greg Gagne was a pretty good defensive shortstop for the Twins and he played on both the World Series teams. Is there a defensive stat somewhere that we could use to compare the two shortstops?
  3. Dave The Dastardly
    The Twins we saw yesterday won't have to worry about losing to the Yankees in the playoffs.
  4. Dave The Dastardly
    Dream a little Dream - Momas and Papas But why not go big? It's springtime!
  5. Dave The Dastardly
    There's no Garlick in my root beer. 1919 Root Beer out of Schell's Brewery in New Ulm is to die for. Throw in a couple scoops of Schwan's Vanilla and you're on your way to heaven. I suggest the Kraut brewers in New Ulm send a growler to Buxton and one to Kepler as well. Probably raise their batting averages by ten points.
  6. Dave The Dastardly
    I remember me and a friend driving over to the Met from Eau Claire, Wisconsin one Sunday afternoon in the '70's. Spur of the moment. Got double-header tickets down the first base line at the walk-up window for less than $10. Headed to the concession stand for a couple of $1 beers and bumped into my Dad and his buddy Gib the Mangler who'd driven up from my home town in southwestern Minnesota. Also spur of the moment. Just about had the place to ourselves. No lines at the concessions, no lines at the bathroom. The Twins dropped two. None of us were surprised and we really didn't care. Great day at the ball park.
  7. Dave The Dastardly
    Respect the Turtle!
  8. Dave The Dastardly
    All Minnesota's professional sports teams typically choke against lesser teams. The Vikings excel at choking while the Twins are merely good at it. It's either something in the water or it's Minnesota Nice; we just don't like beating up on inferior teams, goes against our Grain Belt. The obvious solution is to only play well against better teams, especially the New York baseball club whose name shall not be spoken.
  9. Dave The Dastardly
    Alexander the Great? Killer Kirilloff? Bat Man? Karpe Diem? Stop me at any time...
  10. Dave The Dastardly
    Daring. But I can see the logic in your proposal. Falvey would by laying his neck on the chopping block for sure. If Castillo pans out Falvey's a hero. If Castillo gets injured and Kirilloff tears up the league for the Reds Falvey will be backing up the UHaul past a mob of Twins fans armed with tar and feathers.
  11. Dave The Dastardly
    Call me contrarian but if I was running this team I'd definitely keep Kirilloff in the minors until May to "buy" that extra year of control and use the time to get a good look at Rooker in left and at the plate. If Rooker stumbles then no problem having someplace to play Kirrilloff when he comes up. If Rooker shines and Kirilloff struggles at AAA no pressure to rush the kid up to the majors. If they both shine the Twins will be in a strong trade position. If you do it the other way around and bring Kirilloff up right away and he struggles you lose the extra year of control, Rooker doesn't get much playing time to prove he's the real deal and you got nothing for trade bait.
  12. Dave The Dastardly
    I always hoped the Twins would've signed Les Fish, or Gil Hook. You know, given our 10,000 lakes.
  13. Dave The Dastardly
    Depends on who's playing that day, who the opposing pitcher is, which Twin is hot, or cold, with the bat, what Rocco had for breakfast, the price of stadium hot dogs, etc. If there's one thing we've learned about Rocco it's that he's flexible with his line-ups. Count on seeing all these guys getting a few swings at lead-off. Including La Tortuga.
  14. Dave The Dastardly
    Many moons ago I had a brief career as an insurance salesman. The legal eagles briefed me on how many lies I could tell potential customers without going to jail, my boss briefed me continuously on how many sales I wasn't making and my first marriage turned out to be a brief affair. I guess you could say I was a brief case.
  15. Dave The Dastardly
    Kepler is the least of my worries. We've got the Strikeout King on 1st, the Calf Man on 3rd, Bad Wheel Polanco at 2nd and Garver The Enigmatic behind the plate. A healthy, consistent, above average fielder in right, who can also fill in at center for the injury prone What-Can-I-Break-Next Buxton helps me sleep at night. That and a shot of Jameson.
  16. Dave The Dastardly
    Sorry, but in no way am I praising Uber. I'm praising the idea that it's still possible for the little guy to advance from a low-end, low-paying job and make it to the top of whatever career he's pursuing if he keeps plugging away at it. I shoveled a lot of chicken manure for a large corporation while in high school so I could go to college. No way am I praising manure shoveling as the American Dream. But the idea that a chicken manure-shoveler can become a college grad... the first in his family to do so, that's the American Dream. A man's gotta do what you gotta do, hopefully only temporarily, if you wanna do what you wanna do. That's the message behind the Dobnak story. PS. My MLB ad wouldn't mention either ride-sharing company. The ad would be about promoting baseball, not rip-off ride-sharing.
  17. Dave The Dastardly
    Disagree. The Uber Driver is the epitome of the American Dream; a little guy works his fanny off, takes advantage of whatever opportunity he can get and makes it to the Bigs. It's the modern version of the Natural. Inspirational for the millions of "little guys" out there and the sort of story that draws fans to baseball. Given the poor job MLB has done attracting new fans over the last dozen years they should pump this story for all its worth. Hell, I'd create a TV ad for it; Do a windshield shot of Dobnak behind the wheel, picking up some young couple, schmoozing with them on the drive to the stadium; he drops the couple off at the ticket window, drives around to the player's entrance and climbs out of the car in his spikes and Twins uniform, picks up his glove, tugs on his baseball cap and winks at the camera and says "Baseball. America's game."
  18. Dave The Dastardly
    I know this guy!
  19. Dave The Dastardly
    Can you send me some of whatever you're smoking? Better yet, just send a brownie or two. My lungs are shot. The Old Ones did that to me.
  20. Dave The Dastardly
    Sounds like your stein is half empty, but I hear you. However being a Twins fans requires we always remember that hope springs eternal. Or as true Minnesotans like to say; we eternally hope for spring. Me? I'm going to top off my stein, kick back and let the bloop hits fall where they may.
  21. Dave The Dastardly
    No. 7 but this summary is mostly about Cavaco's negatives? I know nothing about this kid but if there's little to justify his ranking over a dozen other prospects what's he doing at No 7?
  22. Dave The Dastardly
    Interesting article! I wonder what a deadened ball will do to fielding? Former hot grounders now slow rollers not getting out of the infield? Outfielders taking away more line drive hits? Bloopers not blooping deep enough? Formerly average fielders now looking like gold glove candidates? Cruz suddenly getting time in the outfield?
  23. Dave The Dastardly
    When you go shopping for a new winter coat and the pretty sales lady shows you a goose down parka, then a trendy insulate jacket, swing at the first pitch and buy the goose down parka. Then ask the pretty sales lady if she'd like to go sledding with you... maybe hit the sauna afterwords. What the hell, as long as you're swinging you might as well go for a homerun.
  24. Dave The Dastardly
    Nice pun!!
  25. Dave The Dastardly
    Too bad the "experts" who award Gold Glove titles haven't paid more attention to actual glove work and less to batting average and press popularity when handing out Gloves. I think there'd be a few more retired Twins with well-deserved Gold Gloves sitting on their mantels.
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