Jump to content
Twins Daily
  • Create Account

Dave The Dastardly

Verified Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    1,717

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

 Content Type 

Profiles

News

Minnesota Twins Videos

2026 Minnesota Twins Top Prospects Ranking

2022 Minnesota Twins Draft Picks

Minnesota Twins Free Agent & Trade Rumors, Notes, & Tidbits

Guides & Resources

2023 Minnesota Twins Draft Picks

The Minnesota Twins Players Project

2024 Minnesota Twins Draft Picks

2025 Minnesota Twins Draft Pick Tracker

Forums

Blogs

Events

Store

Downloads

Gallery

Everything posted by Dave The Dastardly

  1. Dave The Dastardly
    Signed in just to post a like for this one. Just proves baseball truly is a reflection of America.
  2. Dave The Dastardly
    Good thing I had the wife lock up my guns, all lengths of rope, anything that might be poisonous and all sharp objects before I read this.
  3. Dave The Dastardly
    Ah, the perennial TD search for an Ace... a term for which there is no mutually agreed upon definition. Personally, I'd rather draw four Deuces to an Ace. Throw in a wildcard and the pot is yours.
  4. Dave The Dastardly
    I think he's from Fragile, Italy.
  5. Dave The Dastardly
    I read this thinking the author was going to reveal that May was loading up the ball with slime. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved. Confusing times these.
  6. Dave The Dastardly
    Word on the street is that Earl has been skinned and is being made into a couple dozen pairs of baseball spikes. Teeth are being strung into a necklace for The Turtle. Seemed appropriate.
  7. Dave The Dastardly
    Make the statue out of silly putty so it can bounce right back up. Give everybody a chance to blow off steam.
  8. Dave The Dastardly
    Maybe have the troopers slash the tires on all vehicles with Wisconsin license parked nearby instead of doing nothing? Call it stimulus for local tow trucks and tire dealers.
  9. Dave The Dastardly
    Hilarious! I coached basketball for 17 years. Got talked into refereeing once. The big difference was I went from having 50% of the fans calling me an idiot to 100% of the fans calling me the same thing and worse. Hats off to the guys and gals who have the dedication and courage to officiate any sport. There'd be no games without you.
  10. Dave The Dastardly
    Wait... what? Real people actually watch a fake reality show? Please Lord, bring back baseball before we all go crazy.
  11. Dave The Dastardly
    NASCAR fans don't watch golf... they can't hear the announcers. I tried watching golf once. Thought I died. No really. One minute I was there on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, and the next minute I was gone; dead to the world. NASCAR saved me, brought me back to life when my son changed the channel. I don't know, maybe I wasn't dead. Don't remember seeing a light... but the wife says I never have seen the light, so there's that. But I suspect I'm a zombie now, what with no baseball.
  12. Dave The Dastardly
    I thought about pottery... briefly. But the thought of sticking my fingers into something wet and slimy reminded me of changing diapers... not mine, my kids when they were babies. So I thought about painting instead, but that reminded me of college and the mandatory art class I couldn't escape. I hoped for a naked model to paint but got a flower vase instead. Reminded me of this year's baseball season; high expectations, among other things, that rapidly wilted. Just like my GPA. So I decided to take the high road. Stocked up on booze and snackies. Let the chips fall where they may.
  13. Dave The Dastardly
    I heard the kid's been invited to speak at the next White House coronavirus update.
  14. Dave The Dastardly
    It's difficult for someone who has never suffered a serious ankle injury just how debilitating they can be; mentally as well as physically. As a former high school basketball, volleyball, track and football coach back in the days when head coaches were required to know something about human anatomy, kinesiology and treating sports injuries I taped many a sprained ankle. The thing is just about every athletic move you make, running, jumping, starting, stopping, swinging a bat, stooping to field a ball, requires putting stress on the ankles. And if an ankle has been injured, it hurts every time you make a move, sometimes for weeks after "recovery". After awhile you unconsciously start putting a little more weight on your good ankle and less on the injured ankle and that disrupts your balance, your footwork and your timing and your performance dips. And that affects you mentally because you're off your game and in the back of your mind you're constantly worried you're going to tweak the same injured ankle. That's when a head coach has to become a "head" coach. The point I'm trying to make in my usual roundabout manner is that I can readily buy into the theory that Eddie's ankle injury was the cause for his performance drop-off last season but if the Twins training staff has worked on "head" coaching as well as rehabilitating the injury I think we will see a rejuvenated Eddie in 2020.
  15. Dave The Dastardly
    "interstitial" - had to look that up. Proving once again that TD is an educational site.
  16. Dave The Dastardly
    Taking a wild guess here... you haven't been a TD member for very long. I know for a fact that I've written dumber posts... and they were well-received. Stupid is as stupid does. Run Forrest!
  17. Dave The Dastardly
    A warp in the space-time continuum?
  18. Dave The Dastardly
    Statistically it's 63.9%. 36.1% are able to attend spring training in Florida and therefore tend to be optimistic, especially after an evening at Kelsey's Bar and Massage. The Spring Training Buzz, it's professional term, however tends to dissipate upon returning to Minnesota at a rate inversely proportional to the depth of ice dams remaining on the roof.
  19. Dave The Dastardly
    I rest my case.
  20. Dave The Dastardly
    I'm old enough to remember a time when cool headedness, gracious sportsmanship and civility were admired traits. Now trash-talking, belligerent temperaments, name-calling and boorish behavior have filtered upwards through our society. Sad.
  21. Dave The Dastardly
    Twins fans, with little baseball news in the gristmill, are obviously starving for information.
  22. Dave The Dastardly
    What we need is a baseball "reality" show. Maybe have Gardy go on Undercover Boss, you know that show where the stupid folks can't figure out the guy in the cartoon disguise being followed around by a camera crew and a sound guy dangling a microphone over their heads isn't a "real" person? Maybe have a scene with Terry Ryan digging through a dumpster or visiting a retirement home, searching for the next great Twins player with Gardy making caustic comments in the foreground. In the finale they could have Nick Punto throw off the drool-smeared robe disguise, flip out of the wheelchair and snag a baseball thrown by the backup camera guy right out of the air. I might even watch that... if they can find a slot between all those Chicago shows. You know, right after Chicago Garbage.
  23. Dave The Dastardly
    Better yet, during the game.
  24. Dave The Dastardly
    Ahh, Grasshopper! Would a wise man have a small pebble in his hand and lots of money in his back pocket, or a large rock in his hand and no money in his back pocket? But Master, why would a wise man carry a pebble or a rock around in his hand? Why not put the stone in his other back pocket and leave both hands free? There you go again, kid. Always taking the middle road. No way you're ever going to walk on rice paper.
  25. Dave The Dastardly
    What if one of the players trips over first base and falls down and requires help getting up? Aren't they afraid of pulling a mussel? Sorry. Can't help it. I think their PR guy is gonna be hamstrung.
×
×
  • Create New...