Dave The Dastardly

I agree about the attitude. I once took over a decent basketball team that had a history of laying down whenever they played a particularly good rival team. By "laying down" I mean the players went into their game with resignation, expecting to get whipped. And so they always did. Once I took over I spent as much time "head" coaching as I did head coaching. The first time the two teams met we lost by 20 points, the closest the game had been in years. The second time we played, we lost by 8 but were in the game until the final quarter. We met again in the sectional tournament and made a real game out of it; lost by 2 in overtime. Team talent hadn't changed, but team attitude had. The winning coach told me later that going into the tournament we were the only team he was afraid of. Maybe his team sensed that in him and they came to the game less confident they could beat us. Personally, I always thought Gardy was mostly responsible for the Twins poor showings against the Damn Yankees. You could sense his defeatist attitude ahead of every Yankee series right through the TV. I don't get that from Baldelli. So I ain't afraid of no stinking Yankees. I'm with the Beach Boys; I'm sensing Good Vibrations.

Confucius say, Twins fan dying of thirst will gladly accept half a glass of beer.

I wonder if all the "outdoor baseball" enthusiasts were there. I remember when the Twins pushed for a domed stadium because of Minnesota's unpredictable weather. And then they pushed for an outdoor stadium because... well, they needed new luxury boxes. Now that the indoor/outdoor pendulum has swung in both directions don't be surprised when the push starts for a retractable roof, which, considering where we live, was the logical solution in the first place. Until then we may have to go north of the wall and find some wildlings that can play baseball.

Agree. What did Yogi say? "Half this game is 90% mental"?

Abfuhren der Schlagmann - my guess for "lead-off batsman", but might also be translated as "first man to empty his bowels". Which, depending how well Kepler does leading off, might apply more to the opposing pitcher than to Max the Magnificent.

I think he needs to buy an "O".

Enjoyed the article! And the poke at "winning the offseason". I've often wondered why some treat free-agent signings as if it's a game and a season all by itself. Maybe major league baseball should set up a handicap system where the team that spends the most acquiring free agents gets an extra run added to each of their playoff games... if they reach the playoffs. Or two runs added per game if they make the World Series. Then this free agent signing thing will have a real effect on game outcomes. Until then, much ado about nothing.

“Byron is ready to turn a corner,” The problem with that corner thing is that for Twins players their path forward is shaped more like an octagon. In which case Buxton might have seven more corners to turn. Which is weirdly tantamount to the old "running in circles" adage.

Wait... What? Minnesota isn't perfect? The sun's almost shining, the temp is just a few degrees north of zero and the wind is howling out of the northwest. And it's only November. No way Minnesotans are fair weather fans... we wouldn't know what to do with any stinkin' fair weather.

Rocco Baldelli, you have come asking a favor you know we can’t refuse at this time. This is understandable for you, a paisano. Ambition is often a good thing. But your own territory when you have no experience? This is much to ask. How do we know you are capable of managing this territory in a profitable manner? There will be much competition you understand. Other managers will try to muscle in on your territory, some of your own men will prove unable to stand against them, your own lieutenants, as ambitious as yourself, might scheme against you. We have to know, how will you handle these matters? Will we find these other competitors swimming with the fishes? Or will they own your territory in a year’s time? If one of your lieutenants gives in to entreaties from another manager, will you release him or invite him for a ride down to the river bottoms in the front seat of your car while you ride behind him with a piece of piano wire? If one of your men proves unable to perform up to expectations will you continue to reward him with a prominent role in your organization even though a younger, perhaps better man, awaits his own chance? These are key questions for a man making a request such as yours. And if we grant you this favor, will we need to hide in Sicily for a year or two if any of these bad things should come to pass? The olives are good but the nightlife... well, you don’t want to take a car so there’s a lot of walking involved. We will need to visit with our consiglieri before we can approve your favor. But since we’ve already acquired a horse’s head ( 7th place in a $2,000 claiming race) for his bed, we think he’ll not refuse our offer. Congratulations The Twin Godfathers

I agree with everything but your math.

None of the people reported to be on the internal or external lists are blowing up my kilt. Looks like another yawner and another extension of the 20-year rebuilding plan to me. Think I'll stock up on paint. I hear its pretty exciting watching it dry.

What the Twins need at this point in time is a young (relatively speaking) manager, who relates well to young players, but isn't afraid to get in their face when they keep making the same mistakes over and over and who has a track record (credibility) as both a manager and as a professional ball player. Some guy who can light fires when they need lighting and douse flames when they don't. A big plus? Well known in Minnesota. I see three options; Dougie, D Hocking and Jesus Christ. The big question; who will come down from the Mount? Uh, I mean mound.

That could be a telling statement regarding the Twins pen in general. Regardless, I thought Belisle was signed for his "leadership". I've been looking for that stat up on the scoreboard but can't seem to find it. Maybe it's in the box scores?

Everybody keep your bags packed. Oh, and don't take any Twins equipment with you. We're cutting the budget next year.

I had two loogies once, but one good sneeze took care of both of 'em.

"Sano had a large hole in his swing, namely on the inner-third of the plate." Is it a donut-hole? 15 pounds for a 300 lb man. That's what? 5% of his body weight? Could've knocked that much off just by cutting back on beer. Not impressed. My wife can knock off 5% of her weight in a week's time just by eating salads. And she goes around 118 pounds soaking wet with a... swimsuit on.

Never could understand the excitement over accumulating prospects. I always thought the number of major league wins was more important than the number of "prospects" we can garner in a trade. Of course if the Twins horizon is out in some galaxy far, far away...

I think they'll bring him up for leadership.

This Twins Fan Ain't Satisfied. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrIPxlFzDi0 Flavey and Levine. The pair in the Front Office. Although they both can’t be in there because there’s usually only one front office otherwise it wouldn’t be in front of the other offices. But let’s just say there’s two front offices and no back office. Which of course will make it hard to make a deal because the best deals are always made secretively; in the Back Office. Maybe they got a hallway they can use for cutting a deal. Hell, use the executive bath room if you have to, just make a deal. And not just a deal, a deal-deal. It’s time to stop being cute, time to stop trying to prove you can find a gem in other teams’ junk just because you read a book on analytics. In short, it’s time for the pair of you to grow a pair; swing for the damn fences! Do or Die! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcXpKiY2MXE Bite the bullet. Give Molitor and the hitting coach a train ticket to Clarksville. Molly’s got a MOY Award and a nice three year contract to help him ease into retirement. He’ll probably thank you for it. Now get a manager with fire in his eyes and a proven track record for getting the most out of young players. Pick up the phone and call the Tigers. Throw yourselves at their feet. Everybody knows you’re desperate anyway. Just look at the standings. Look at the batting averages if you have the stomach for it. So put all pretenses aside. Tell the Tigers Front Office up front, preferably while they’re in their Back Office waiting to make a deal, that you want Dougie back. Tell them they can have anybody off the major league club but Berrios, Romero, Rosario, Escobar, Pressley and Hildenberger in trade. Make that two anybodies. Tell them they can have three current Twins if they throw Brian Harper in on the deal to be the new Twins hitting coach. Hell, tell the Tigers they can have six Twins off the major league club if they take Goodman, Wilson and LoMo off your hands. Maybe even throw in Sano if you have to. If they can find him down there in Single A. Just make the deal. Then once you get ink on paper, steal your wives’ lipstick and start kissing Dougie’s... whatever. Throw yourselves at his feet, confess your idiocy. Admit you were getting all uppity, trying to prove your high-and-mighty analytic smartness when you dismissed Dougie, forgetting that the best “analytic” for a manager is how many games he wins, not how he wins them. Offer him a three-year contract equal to whatever the highest paid manager in the Bigs is getting. Throw in a few incentives; use of the Pohlad’s private jet so he can fly home on off-days to see his family, tell him he can select whatever minor league players he wants for the Twins roster no questions asked, no moaning about starting the clock, or losing options or any of that happy equine fecal matter that makes front office type sound smart but keeps talent down on the farm until they’re old enough to retire. And promise, carve it in a big frigging stone on Twins Plaza, you will not in any way shape or form claim major league cast-offs off the waiver wire, or screw around with Rule Five sucker bait or in anyway add any players to the 40-man or 25-man roster without Dougie’s prior approval. Then stay out of Dougie’s way and let him build us a winning team. You can get in the team photo when he wins the Division. And when the Twins are in the World Series and the TV cameras are on the owner/front office box, you can nod wisely and knowingly when the announcers pronounce you geniuses. So swallow your pride and make the deal. What have you got to lose? Your last ten fans?

Clever headline and nice analysis.

Just an observation; Dougie has the Toledo Mud Hens in first place in the AAA International League. Too bad he wasn't good enough for AA ball with the Twins. We just might have had an in-house replacement for Molly.

I always enjoyed watching Denny Hocking play. The guy never did anything half-a$$ed. You always got a 100% effort even if it was only chewing tobacco.

Maybe we can make him into a pitcher. He can cover short and 2nd base from the mound and he won't have to bat. Seems logical after three Grain Belts and a grilled steak.

There's the Twins world and then there's the real world.