Game Thread: Twins@Tigers 8/21 6:05PM

[snepp]

Twins Baseball™®©2013.

[Guest USAFChief]

Carnac: "Drool."

 

//the usual//

 

Carnac: "What does the average University of Iowa applicant get on his SAT?"

[Tpups21]

Time to bring up Sano!

[Riverbrian]

As Al Bundy once said "Women, can't live with them. That's it".

 

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting... Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance... The golf pro saw her heading back:

 

Golf Pro: “You are back early, what’s wrong?”

Woman: “I was stung by a bee!”

Golf Pro: “Where?”

Woman: “Between the first and second hole.”

Golf: “Your stance is far too wide.”

[Guest USAFChief]

Carnac: "Leave Correia in too long."

 

yada yada

 

Carnac: "How do you clear out a TD Game Thread in a hurry?"

[Bark's Lounge]

Note to self: Next time, instead of watching a Twins game, be a good citizen - help clean up your neighborhood park.

http://greendocvick.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/syringes20used20pile20lots20medical20waste.jpg

[ashbury]

I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

 

You sound like you've been through this drill before. Maybe many times.

[Riverbrian]

About 25 years ago I was flying to Atlanta. All of a sudden... The Engines started sputtering and the stewardess started going through crash instructions. She said that this wasn't a drill... the plane was going to crash.

 

The lady sitting next to me looked at me and said... "If I'm gonna die this way... I wanna die feeling like a woman". She then started to take her clothes off.

 

So I took my shirt off... Handed it to her and said... "Here... Iron this".

[ashbury]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]5298[/ATTACH]

 

Such nice young ladies. I'm sure their dates will be along any time now. Just some pleasant conversation until then.

 

/ And then the spankings. "Yes' date=' yes, you must give us [b']all [/b]a good spanking!"

[Willihammer]

Hey, if the Twins get something cooking here they can always pinch hit Joe Mau-

They can give a bat to Josh Willingha-

 

Oswaldo Ar-

 

Well maybe someone has a Rosary.

[GCTF]

Carnac: "Leave Correia in too long."

 

yada yada

 

Carnac: "How do you clear out a TD Game Thread in a hurry?"

 

Still here, not sure why.

[Bark's Lounge]

About 25 years ago I was flying to Atlanta. All of a sudden... The Engines started sputtering and the stewardess started going through crash instructions. She said that this wasn't a drill... the plane was going to crash.

 

The lady sitting next to me looked at me and said... "If I'm gonna die this way... I wanna die feeling like a woman". She then started to take her clothes off.

 

So I took my shirt off... Handed it to her and said... "Here... Iron this".

 

Don't leave us hanging... did she iron your shirt?

[GCTF]

/ And then the spankings. "Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!"

 

For some inexplicable reason you left out the next line.

[ashbury]

Based on results so far the Twins clearly made the right decision in signing Correia over Sanchez.

 

One might put oneself in Sanchez's cleats and say something similar.

[ashbury]

What? Correia gave the lead away? Shocking.

 

The ZappAvatar can only do so much, it seems.

[Squirrel]

Still here, not sure why.

 

Me, too. Need to wait until the wash is done before running to Target. But the wind is gone from my sails.

[Riverbrian]

Marriage: An expensive way to get laundry done.

[glunn]

I give KC credit for a good road performance against a very good opponent.

[glunn]

Marriage: An expensive way to get laundry done.

 

I do my own laundry now. Too many broken in items were disappearing.

[ashbury]

For some inexplicable reason you left out the next line.

 

And after the spanking, the oral history.

[glunn]

This game is becoming unwatchable.

[Squirrel]

This game is becoming unwatchable.

 

I was just going to say that. Sad and pathetic.

[Bark's Lounge]

I give KC credit for a good road performance against a very good opponent.

Hey Glunn, if I am reading your post right, you must have gotten that Medical Mary-Jane prescription for Twins Induced Anxiety.

[snepp]

This inning brought to you by the Alexi Casilla Play-a-Like Club.

[GCTF]

I'm still gonna watch it to the bitter end.

[Riverbrian]

ChiTown: Doctor... It's the weirdest thing... For the past 3 days... Every time I sneeze... I have an orgasm.

 

Doctor: Really... That is very strange. What have you been doing.

 

ChiTown: Snorting Pepper

[ashbury]

Dozier with an error, now we run up the white flag, right?

[GCTF]

Remember when Dozier was a good fielder?

[Willihammer]

Missing: 1 Chumbalone

 

If found, call 763-555-1234

 

http://i.imgur.com/ewZ2Y6I.jpg

[ashbury]

In a blowout loss like this, time to break in a rookie Rally Avatar.