Your Dad About to Ask If Kaelen Culpepper is Related to Daunte

[RandBalls Stu]

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Twins fans—and even some in independent sports media—are advocating for the call-up of shortstop Kaelen Culpepper, the team's top draft pick from 2024. With Culpepper sizzling-hot for the Triple-A St. Paul Saints and Minnesota in desperate need of even replacement-level play at the position, it seems that his time is coming sooner, rather than later. And with that, your Dad is gearing up to ask you something.

"Hey, is that new kid any relation to Daunte?" he plans to ask this weekend or next.

The Daunte in question is former Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper, whose well-worn jersey your Dad still occasionally dons on football Sundays.

"Remember when Daunte would just fling it up to Moss for a touchdown and get his roll on," he will ask with a faraway look in his eyes, a grin growing on his face. "Sure was somethin'. Good times. Really thought they'd get us a ring."

There is no evidence that Kaelen (born and raised in Memphis) and Daunte (native of Ocala, Florida) are even distant cousins, much less close relatives. Your Dad will be undeterred by this.

"I hope he doesn't have small hands like Daunte, don't want him bobbling any grounders," your Dad will observe, repeating the old canard about the quarterback's hand size leading to turnovers. You will be torn on whether to observe that Culpepper wasn't statistically more fumble-prone than other starting quarterbacks of his era or that, again, Daunte is not related to Kaelen. By the time you decide, your Dad will have already moved on to how they don't make shows like Band of Brothers anymore.

In a vacuum, this would be fine, but it will come in the wake of your Dad finally identifying Orlando Arcia as a current Twin, rather than his brother, former Twin Oswaldo Arcia, during Tuesday's game versus Detroit.

"One step forward, two steps back," you will mutter. It's going to be a long summer. Daunte was a two-sport star in high school and was drafted by the Yankees in 1995. You desperately hope Dad has forgotten that nugget for good.

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[LastOnePicked]

This old dad is going to point to Patrick Mahomes and Pat Mahomes as proof that it ain't dumbest question we Dads have ever asked.

For the record, the dumbest question was asked in January 2023: "When Carlos Correa is a Hall-of-Famer, will he go in as a Twin?"

[BobAzar]

what about CJ Culpepper? 

[Danchat]

1 minute ago, BobAzar said:

what about CJ Culpepper? 

You beat me to it, that one is gonna confuse some dads.