Grandfather Amuses Child with Apocryphal Tales of Twins Offense

[RandBalls Stu]

'And then Grandpa said that if a batter gets a home run when the bases are loaded, they call it a grand slam. I love it when he tells me his stories.’

Rowan Landskog, 6, loves it when his grandfather Bill Landskog comes over to read him bedtime stories. He especially loves it when the stories are in the realm of the fantastic and unbelievable, with tales of monsters and Martians sending him to sleep.

Lately, the stories have taken an even more outrageous turn, as “Grampa Billy” tells his baseball-crazy grandson about the legend of the Minnesota Twins offense.

“Grampa Billy said the Minnesota Twins used to hit a bunch of dingers,” said the junior Landskog, who lives with his mother in Stillwater. “He says they would hit them all the time and score a bunch of points. Wow!”

The elder Landskog usually starts his reading shift with Dr. Seuss, moves on to Shel Silverstein or Where the Wild Things Are, then completes his duties by reading the Baseball Reference page for the 2019 Minnesota Twins.

“Grampa said that when I was in preschool the Twins set the record for home runs,” said an astonished Rowan. “I think he knew I didn't believe him but he swore it was true." 

The kindergartner was especially awestruck by a new term he learned last night.

“He told me a fun story about a friendly dragon who saved a pretty princess,” said an excited Rowan, his eyes filled with wonder. “And then Grampa Billy said that if a batter gets a home run when the bases are loaded, they call it a grand slam, and that the Twins have done it a lot! I love it when he tells me his crazy stories.”

The storytelling grandfather was unavailable for comment but could be overheard issuing a series of expletives at his car radio when the Twins hit into their second double play during Thursday afternoon’s game against Kansas City.

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[wsnydes]

If I didn't see it for myself, I wouldn't believe it either kid!

[RJA]

For heaven's sake, I hope Grandpa doesn't read stats from this year to the kid.  He will have horrible nightmares.

[ashbury]

"We tell the kids, 'Grandpa has his spells, and if he forgets to take his medications you don't know what he might say.  Just smile and tell him you love him.'  At least he's not telling them about those so-called astronaut moon landings 100 years ago or whenever."

[LastOnePicked]

Funny. I used to tell my daughter that, for two glorious years, the Twins were the most clutch postseason team ever known to baseball. She would look at me like I was nuts, and because the attic mice ate the Wheaties boxes and I no longer had a VCR to run the Twins Win! tape, I had no viable proof to offer. And so, a triumphant MN postseason is just a fairy tale now.