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Dave The Dastardly

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Everything posted by Dave The Dastardly

  1. Dave The Dastardly
    "Minnesota isn't forced to trade Kepler, but this front office has touted its creativity regarding roster creation." Cody Christie Huh? You mean the Twins penchant for acquiring broken-down pitchers in exchange for some of our better prospects? That creativity?
  2. Dave The Dastardly
    I can empathize with Allmendinger. I've spent more time watching Japanese beetles on my back deck than I have watching the ALCS. Starting to name the little buggers. Interesting to note several seem more resistant to bug spray than others triggering a fear I may be creating a super race of Japanese beetles. Given they have a genetic ninja ability we could soon be in a world of hurt... almost as painful as watching the Twins tank a division lead. Who's playing by the way?
  3. Dave The Dastardly
    Just popped in to check play-off results and discovered starting pitchers are going seven innings on three-days rest. Somebody step in and stop this cruelty or somebody is going to get hurt!
  4. Dave The Dastardly
    Package deal; Pagan, Sano and Rocco. Something to build a team around; pitcher, slugger, manager. Not necessary to give us anything of immediate value in return as we're just interested in starting a rebuilding team, hopefully somebody in our division, off on the right foot. You know, in the name of improving competition.
  5. Dave The Dastardly
    We've been talking about shortstop for the last what? Five years? In the meantime our pitching staff leaks homeruns, can barely find the plate some days and creates banner headlines when a guy actually pitches into the 6th. Take that Correa money and get a "real" pitcher; not a has-been, not a surgery waiting to happen. If he's good we won't notice who's playing short. Of course we'll have to convince him Rocco will let him go for the no-no and not pull him in the fifth...
  6. Dave The Dastardly
    Package him with Sano and hope to God that's enough sweetner for another team to take the bait. Miranda can't play third? Based on what? He spent most of this past season at first, a new position for him. If Miranda is going to be part of the "plan" he needs to be the starting 3rd baseman in 2023. None of this "utility" crap. Tell him right now he's going to be "the" hot corner guy and bat clean-up. Give him the entire off-season to prepare with those specific roles in mind. It's called focusing. I like Urshela, but if we keep him you know damn well Rocco will again be playing roulette next season when it comes to setting game day starters and batting lineups.
  7. Dave The Dastardly
    Why am I not enthralled with grading an infielders' arm strength?
  8. Dave The Dastardly
    Odd that we cut Smeltzer and hung onto (at least so far) pitchers that shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a pitching rubber. If there's a plan it must be so devious we mere mortals can't decipher it.
  9. Dave The Dastardly
    Jake Cave is where Jake Brakes were invented, which have now been outlawed in most municipalities. Jakes have been going downhill ever since.
  10. Dave The Dastardly
    Oh yeah? Well our guys are more rested.
  11. Dave The Dastardly
    "The Twins can sign anybody they want to sign," TwinsDr2021 Assuming "anybody" wants to come here. If I was an established player, one with a proven track record, and wanted a(nother) shot at a World Series title, or a chance to burnish personal records for an eventual shot at the Hall, would I sign with the Twins? Ask Correa. But if I was at the end of a so-so career, running out of gas, struggling with reoccurring injuries and anxious to pad my retirement would I sign a 2-3 year deal with the Twins? In a heartbeat. List of "free" agents who have done exactly that resembles a dime novel.
  12. Dave The Dastardly
    Now that the Twins are Cave-less, Wallner has a better chance of playing in the Bigs next year. What's the old saying about one door opening when another closes?
  13. Dave The Dastardly
    Shhh! "Spillage" warning designed to protect me from claims I might "misappropriate" any donations of Irish Elixir of Life.
  14. Dave The Dastardly
    I don't really care as long as the Yankees lose. I've already started gathering Yankee memorabilia from recovering Yankee fans for my annual backyard Bad Ju-Ju Fire and Damnation bonfire. Donations welcome. Also feel free to send along any Irish whiskey... you know, to help start the bonfire. However don't be surprised if some spillage might occur. Slainte!
  15. Dave The Dastardly
    Miranda and Wallner for sure, despite some TD fans claiming neither can field. I don't believe either player has had enough time at their regular positions to prove or disprove that complaint, but whatever, they can hit and Miranda has shown he can do it with men on base; a seemingly rare ability for Twins hitters. I'd also throw in Lewis but so far he's proven more Buxton-esque than reliable player. Not many teams can compete carrying book-end bench "resters". Though maybe Rest Home Rocco can stagger the two's rest days so at least one of them is on the field every game. Must be a spreadsheet for that...
  16. Dave The Dastardly
    I don't care as long as there's a World Series patch on 'em at the end of the 2023 season.
  17. Dave The Dastardly
    I think he should get a "rest year". Maybe 10.
  18. Dave The Dastardly
    This could have been a more lengthy article. There's only about three Twins who don't have anything left to prove.
  19. Dave The Dastardly
    Word down at Riley's Pub And Prognosticators is that Captain Checkdown has retained Hookem, Cookem and Snookem to launch his own legal suit against the NFL for deliberately scheduling him to play on Monday nights. "It's hard to justify my $50,000,000 salary when I stink up the joint on national TV," he argues. "How am I supposed to ask for another salary bump to $70,000,000 a season when I'm throwing passes two yards behind the line to Cook when he's surrounded by a linebacker, a cornerback and a safety? I got a family to feed, you know? I need a couple wide receivers capable of getting open." The Prognosticators at the baseball end of bar reported that the Twins' Falvey claims he's found another starting pitcher for next season, soon as he recovers from double Tommy John, a herniated disc and a deviated septum. "I'm sure Rocco can get a couple innings out of him before he hits the 50-pitch mark and has to go on the IL," Falvey insisted knowingly. "Maybe we can use him to close games." Riley accepts all the sports talk with a knowing grin. "The more the Twins and Vikings choke the more beer I sell and the more money I make," he says with a snorted laugh. "And that's not even considering what I take in when the Timberwolves start up. God, I love this state!"
  20. Dave The Dastardly
    Yeah, we could pickup 10 Archers for the money we'd save on Correa. That's almost enough guys to pitch one game. you know, considering how many would be on the IL at any particular time.
  21. Dave The Dastardly
    Does the pitcher have a history of injuries? Does his medical report (necessary for a trade) reveal current "minor" injury problems? Does he have a history of going 6-7 innings each time he takes the mound, or is he pulled after 3 or 4 innings? How much time has he spent on the IL in the past? What for? Chronic-type injuries a la Buxton, Donaldson, Kirilloff etc. or single fluke-type injuries like taking a line-drive off the shin, or the hand, etc. Not a perfect window into the future but better than snapping up someone who's already proven to be damaged goods, at the end of his career, or ineffective just because he's cheap, which seems to be the Twins preferred yardstick of late.
  22. Dave The Dastardly
    "If they lose Correa they will have a big hole at SS, and lose games because of it; they have had two of the best fielding SS for two years and there is nothing to replace that skill set." And what did that get us? I'd rather spend that money on a top-notch starting pitcher; someone who can take the ball every five days, pitch 6-7 innings and keep the Twins in the game without spending every other month on the IL.
  23. Dave The Dastardly
    Dude, you wanna pass me that doobie?
  24. Dave The Dastardly
    Minnesota Twins; where former "good" pitchers go to retire, or undergo surgery and then retire, or be underutilized, or just plain ol' regress, or be freed via a trade to a contending team where their career once again blossoms. We live in the Valley of Pitching Career Death and we should fear all Evil.
  25. Dave The Dastardly
    Refresh my memory, why did we sign him?
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